( I apologize in advance for how long it is) okay maybe I'm a lil depressed because I haven't picked my dress yet but I feel like my mother and sister (who is the MOH) isn't being supportive of my wedding or just too busy to get involved! They have come dress shopping with me a couple of times but to get them to come is like pulling teeth.. I don't get that?? Isn't a mother supposed to do things like this with her daughter and it's not like we have a bad relationship or anything like that! I asked my sister to come to the wedding center with me two nights ago and she was like I'm going to the movies..Okay fine and then hours go by and she and her friend are like were going to friendly's for ice cream and never went to the movies so that whole time she was home doing nothing at all, she could have came with me to pick out the BM's dresses!! I don't get it...it's like nobody is taking my wedding seriously
alexlynn7
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Re: Have to vent
i can sympathize - the one thing i asked my sister (my MOH, no less) to do for me was to look into limo and bus prices while i was away for a WHOLE MONTH on job interviews. she knew how stressed out i was to be away for so long, and i SO could have used the help, but do you think it got done?
anyway, i don't think it's done maliciously, but i think many people (even close family members) are preoccupied with their own lives, and don't realize just how important these little things are to future brides. why not confront her and tell her that she hurt your feelings, and how much it means to you to have her with you? that might be better than keeping it bottled up inside...
natbella
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Re: Have to vent
yeah I understand she is busy since she works and goes to school but right now school is out and I figured maybe she had a lil time for me but if I don't ask her like a week in advance then forget it cause she has plans already! Thank you for your understanding, I think I needed to hear that someone else hears what I'm saying!!
SPITSBRIDE
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Re: Have to vent
OMG....I thought I was the ONLY one!!!
I can definitely relate being my mom and sis are acting the same way towards my wedding. I honestly wish I knew the answer to your question because I don't get it either. I don't think they do it intentionally, they probably do not realize what they are doing. I don't have a bad relationship with my mom and sis either but like you said, they just may be too busy. It sounds terrible and its not right but sometimes people do things and don't realize how it is affecting the other person. The only thing I can suggest is to talk to them and make them both realize that their actions are really affecting you and your wedding planning and you really need their support 100%.
Please, I have been asking my mom to make her guest list for the past 3 months and she says she has been too busy to get to it. I am starting to get really hurt by this because I feel as though she is not taking my wedding planning seriously. It took my sister months before she went for measurements because she was also too busy to take the time and go. This is just one of the many things both her and my sis do. You are definitely not the only bride that is going thru this, I guess it's normal.
That is why were all here on this site, to support each other throughout the many bumps we will hit in our wedding planning.
Best of luck to you!
natbella
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Re: Have to vent
(Please, I have been asking my mom to make her guest list for the past 3 months and she says she has been too busy to get to it.)
Same here...I have asked my mom numerous times for that but I have yet to see any list...I'm just so happy to hear that other brides out there hear what I'm saying and support me..makes me feel a lot better inside! here's a for you too
Robinella
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Re: Have to vent
my family is the same way...but i took the initiative and went to get my dress by myself...best decision i ever made...this way i knew the dress i liked was one i felt great in and loved...i wasnt relying on anyone elses opinions or 'face reactions'. That same day i picked out the BM dresses...was so much easier to do it myself..than like a week later i took the girls to see it, and they loved it...im glad i didnt bring a whole bunch of people with me. So i think you should try to do it yourself...im quite aware that no one is as interested in the brides wedding as the bride is....it doesnt mean your friends or family dont care, but they have their own lives...so i think you should just do it all yourself...be less stressful!
angelbear217
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Re: Have to vent
I know how you feel. I have been engaged for over a year now and now is when I've finally seen my mom and sister take some interest in the wedding. It was'n that they weren't supportive., but everytime I tried to talk about it I felt like they didn't. Don't worry we are always here and we will always take an interest. That is why a board like this is so helpful. I'm sure they will come around.
chachou22
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Re: Have to vent
I know exactly how you feel
marc_rai
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Re: Have to vent
SAme here. My Mom, my sister and I have a great relationship. But I was really hurt when I realized that my FH was trying to get my mom to come to FL to see him do the proposal and she didn't come. I found this out after the fact. Then, when I went dress shopping my mom actually took out a book to read at a couple of places (so what, if that was the 8th store, I STILL want your FULL attention). So one day I just snapped when I was on the phone and I let everything out ( I can't even remember what I got upset about). But I told my mom that I was really hurt and that I know that she loves me, but I never expected her to act that way. Funny thing is my mom didn't even realize it how she made me feel. She did apologize for not coming to see the proposal, she said she has no excuse. I realized that I was comparing my mom to other people and we shouldn't do that. One of my friends was telling me how her mom cried at every store that she went to to try on dresses, so I guess I wanted something like that. My mom was like, 'You're just trying on dresses, it wasn't the day yet. I know I will be emotional on that day.' So I do understand where she was coming from and she did take off a week of work to fly to chicago to see me try on dresses...
My sister has been great though. I was really trying not to be one of those brides that expected everyone to drop their plans and be at my beck and call, but I told all my BM now that I am under the 6 MONTH mark that they may receive crazy emails from me and me talking about my wedding all the time. They all were like cool.
About guestlist, I've been asking my parents from AUGUST for the list. Finally, I told them that I am not asking again. I'm sending out the STD with the addresses they gave me, and I'm going to use that save list to do the invitations. Whoever is not on that list does not get invited... Response: My father said give him another week.
natbella
Posted:
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Re: Have to vent
About guestlist, I've been asking my parents from AUGUST for the list. Finally, I told them that I am not asking again. I'm sending out the STD with the addresses they gave me, and I'm going to use that save list to do the invitations. Whoever is not on that list does not get invited... Response: My father said give him another week.
LOL...see what we go through, it is so tough planning a wedding I never realized it would be this stressful! your right about not expecting people to drop what their doing...which I didn't. I just needed some of their time to help me a little too
meredith24
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Re: Have to vent
i hear ya. our wedding is in june and my mom and FMIL still hasent picked out a dress. the problem between the two is mom mother has about 50 that she likes and she has to try them on a hundred times on different days to make sure she likes them. My FMIL could probably care less if she even goes to the wedding. at this point i feel like picking out dresses for both of them and telling them to go buy it. Just tell them to get in the car and go, you cant be nice forever. Good luck!!!!
Jamie&MarkSept.'05
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Re: Have to vent
My family is the same way! I am planning from out of state and my Mom has been telling me since September that she would go meet the photographer to see in person the items that are included in the package...she still has not gone!!!!
Also, there are other small things I ask her to do and she does NOTHING!!!!!
