like one of your BM's wasn't really into being a BM? or that you held your friendship with a higher regard then she did? I am starting to feel this way and was wondering if anyone else did.
lilangel369
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Re: Have you ever felt........
well ... i think one of my BMs don't really wanna be one because she has been a BM once too often but still is doing it for me ... on the other hand ... another BM told me that she might not even make it ...
Mrs.C 102608
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Re: Have you ever felt........
I was even considering giving her an out and seeing what she does.....I just dont know anymore. I want all my BM's to be excited and honored. At first I felt like they were but now I am getting a different impression for many reasons. I am even starting to think I consider her a better friend then she considers me. I am starting to feel upset about it but feel funny approaching her about it.
Kris109
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Re: Have you ever felt........
I totally know how you feel. The friend who I consider my 'best friend' doesn't seem all too interested. I rarely get to see her, and it's fine, since I know she's busy with her husband and baby...but, then, I find out that there's another friend, (one I introduced her to, by the way) that I know she makes it a point to see, and hang out with. I KNOW it's because both their husbands are cops, and they get along...but, it absolutely kills me. The other BMs talk about a shower, and a bachelorette party, and I've already told them not to expect her, (or another BM, her sister, my other 'Best friend') to participate, because I doubt they'll be interested...it's so sad that I can't wait to get pregnant, just to have something in common with her again, and we can hopefully get our closeness back...
davenjess
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Re: Have you ever felt........
YES YES YES
I want to give my FSIL an out but everyone i talk to about it thinks it's a really bad idea. Her two kids are the ring bearer & bubble boy and they think that she'd pull them out... I don't think she would because they are almost as excited about the wedding as FH & I are..but you never know...
kellybean
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Re: Have you ever felt........
I think that happens more often then not once you get engaged your priorities change...at least for most people I know...You grow up you are planning the rest of your life not the next girls night out...for people who arent at that point or who cant imagine being there it sometimes gets hard....she may not realize that is how shes behaving talk to her and let her know how you feel...
xXxNovember08xXx
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ur post is the story of my life right now...
but its true when you get engaged ur priorities change adn not a lot of ppl quite understand...
Mrs.C 102608
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Thanks girls......
I just feel bad approaching her because what am I supposed to say without making her feel bad. I really dont want to hurt her feelings because I consider her to be close to me but at the same time I get the vibe that she is closer to me then I am to her.
MD835
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kristi313
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Re: Have you ever felt........
i can understand. it could be a jealousy thing. it could be that always a bridesmaid never a bride thing. you never know. that's why i have 2 people. my best friend and my sister. they both seem to be very interested as of right now. lol
but i actually was going to have 3 girls but i weeded one out, b/c of that same i'm a better friend to her then she is to me thing. i just got it all out of the way from the begining
Mrs.C 102608
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Re: Have you ever felt........
Posted by mishi205
i know how you feel -- i felt (and still do) the same way about my BMs - but after giving it much thought, I realized I was feeling this way because I had some expectations that were not being met (as in getting super excited and taking initiatives to help me out) - they're all busy too, so I had to re-condition my brain to accept the fact that I will be doing most of the work and any help I get from them will just be a plus
I'm paying for all their dresses too so I expected at least something -- but to my frustration ... I told myself I was making myself feel this way, so now I'm just happy with whatever help I can get (I don't ask too often anymore either)
hope that helps a bit ... you'll be ok!!!
I think you are right....I think I am feeling this way because of my expectations. I guess sometimes you just expect too much of people.....I always like to give the benefit of the doubt until they prove me wrong and I guess i was just proven wrong once again
dangell427
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Re: Have you ever felt........
yes! tottaly!! i asked my best friend to be my moh and FH`s sister and 2 oldest female cousins to be my bridesmaids and one of wich never seems like she wants to have anything to do with this!!!!! makes me angry!!!
jeffamanda080808
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I totally feel this way. I asked one of my BM (now living out of state) because I thought she'd be soo happy for me. And I wanted her to be a part of my special day. Well she says yes and then plans her wedding (Expensive Destination Wedding) 6 months before mine, and specifically says 'Well we've been together longer than you two so I'm not sitting through another one of my friends weddings without being married.' Now she is complaining about money issues, and decided to tell me that she doesn't know if she'll be able to make it to my shower but she'll 'help out as much as she can'.
My MOH/Sister constantly complains about what colors I've picked and the dress I picked for them.
I only have one other BM and she is a pure joy. I thank God for her.
jgl
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Re: Have you ever felt........
as of right now - no - there isnt much i really need them for . we do need to go dress shopping but its more slacking on my part. i'm not too demanding.
missK
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Posted by Soon2beMrsC
I was even considering giving her an out and seeing what she does.....I just dont know anymore. I want all my BM's to be excited and honored. At first I felt like they were but now I am getting a different impression for many reasons. I am even starting to think I consider her a better friend then she considers me. I am starting to feel upset about it but feel funny approaching her about it.
I am so totally with you. We were great friends and had a falling out and worked to get it better. Her daughther is my god daughter and I wanted her to be in the bridal party. So not to hurt her feelings I asked. When she asked if she was the MOH and I said no she looked very disappointed. Im not sure why she would have thought she would be since we have been off /on. I have a feeling that I will look back at my wedding pics in years to come and say ' what a mistake' but whats done is done. If she isnt in it I am sure she will take her daughter out too. Which would be terribly sad for me but a big pressure off of me. I dont think this relationship will last, I now see where I stand with her which she made clear last week. Unfortunetly.
KiTTeN0819
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Re: Have you ever felt........
Theres a girl in my BP that was super excited last year but now she backs out everytime we make wedding related plans, or really any plans at all. Im not sure if shes flaking out on me, or if its just cause shes pregnant but its starting to bug me. Shes due in Nov so im going to give it time and see if she gets better after the baby and wait til after the new year to start trying to include her in wedding planning again.
The other thing that was bugging me was how when her sister got married this past July all she did was complain about the whole way her sister was going about planning the wedding and how much it was costing her.
Snowflake08
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i am sorry that you feel this way i can't really relate because i am only having my sister as my matron of honor
is there something going on in her life that is different or upsetting her??
Toucan311
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Re: Have you ever felt........
Oh God, yes. My MOH is excited, but one of my BM doesnt even TRY to hide the fact that she's not excited about the wedding...
Snowflake08
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Posted by Mimacat
Oh God, yes. My MOH is excited, but one of my BM doesnt even TRY to hide the fact that she's not excited about the wedding...
im sorry heather im excited!!!
Toucan311
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Posted by Snowflake08
Posted by Mimacat
Oh God, yes. My MOH is excited, but one of my BM doesnt even TRY to hide the fact that she's not excited about the wedding...
im sorry heather im excited!!!
I'm more excited! I get to see the dress in action first!!
