Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long**UPDATE**
Original post by lyss0908
Last night I had a HUGE fight with my parents on the phone over my inlaws guest list. i had previously written about this very same topic but last night was awful. My inlaws have 112 on their list meanwhile my parents have 68 tops. They are going to tell them to cut their list in half. To top it off I had to hear how 'stressed out' my sister (MOH) is over planning my shower and bachelorette party!!!!! Is she F-ing kidding me?! I never asked for a shower first of all. Second she has had more say on what to do than I have in this wedding. I let her pick the dresses and the color!! I never wanted Purple but I would rather she be happy than hear her b*tch! I don't get it. I gave her an idea about the bach party to go to the awesome 80's prom. Hello! That is so inexpensive in the grand scheme of things. 40 bucks for a ticket is too much! Geez, wish someone would have told me that when I spend hundreds of dollars on all my BM's bachelorette parties. So mad, I feel like this whole wedding planning thing is not worth it. I would rather elope. Is it too late to call it off? Would my parents lose their money??? Sorry so long but I needed to vent ***UPDATE***
**** Well My dad finally had it out with my FIL' s and told them they have a certain amount of people and after that they have no choice but to cover them if they want to invite them! WHEW!!! What a relief. I don't understand why it took so long to resolve this but I am glad it is done. FMIL had the nerve to complain that she has not been involved in any of the planning and my dad was like no offense but you haven't given a dime yet so why would you be involved? Besides it was me and FH who basically decided on the hall and the band and told my parents thats what we wanted. She knew that from the get go and now she decides to complain about it! arrgghh I don't care now- as long as the financials are taken care of nothing else matters!!
jaep129
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
Posted by stinenandy2010
Thats why we are all here, vent away! Good Luck with everything!
I would let things cool off a bit before making any decisions!
Agreed. I would wait and def talk to inlaws. Unless they are paying for their side I would say cute it down! Good luck and feel better
zoe282
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
I think through all the drama you have to keep in mind that you want to marry your FH...marraige isn't about the wedding or the drama surrounding it. just because familes are causing your grief doesn't mean that you should call off your wedding. Talk to FH....he needs to be your support in this. have him talk to his parents or both of you together about the list. Tell your sister that if it's too stressful you'll plan things. Don't let other ruin this fun time for you....
Lil83108
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
DON'T CALL IT OFF!
You will regret it for the rest of your life...this day is for you and your FH! Tell everyone that you are extremely disappointed in all of them for having you feel like this. This is what I would do...
-Tell FH to talk to his parents and either have them cut the guest list or they will be the ones to have to pay for the extra people they want to attend. NO EXCEPTIONS!
-Tell your MOH (sister) that you are really stressed out right now and need her to understand how she isn't making it easier. Tell her what YOU WANT TO DO for your B-Party! If she needs help planning that and your shower have one of your closest friends help her so maybe she doesn't feel stressed.
Don't call it off...you've waited so long to have a day where you can share it with the people you care about and even though you may want to kill those people now you may regret it in the future for calling it off.
ELluvsMB
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
I don't see why your inlaws can't pay for some of their people. Your parents should really only have to pay for their guests plus around the same number of guests on your grooms side. I would try and get them to pay for the others. If they want them their then they have to pay. Thats what we did.
ligirlz
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
I would not call it off believe we all went through this at guest list time. My problem was my MIL was inviting people we did not know so we had to politely tell her we had to cut some corners. She understood and redid her list. You can use the minimum count as an excuse for her to cut her list or tell her she has to pay for extras. But I would not call off a wedding. You are just stressed and i would let the know that and believe once you day comes it will be all worth it. Mine was the most spectacular day.
csaburro
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
Don't call it off. Just take a break from 'wedding stuff' for a bit.
Once your day arrives, everything will be beautiful and you will be so happy that you did not call it off. It will all be worth it in the end.
Also, you may have to tell everyone to keep the list strictly to close friends and family and maybe have a B List.for the extra people for when you start getting declines.........just a thought.
MEMEJOR
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
i def hear u on that...
GinaZ
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
breathe!!!!
We have all had or will have instances similar to this. And they are soooooooooooooo annoying! But you will get through it and have an amazing wedding! I promise! Maybe have your FH explain to his parents that your parents can't afford to pay for more than x number of people and if they would like to invite more, they will need to cover the cost. And tell your MOH that while you understand planning these things can be tricky and a bit stressful, explain that u have a lot going on and would appreciate it if she tried not to vent to you so much. Explain that you chose her because she is a great person whom you felt would be th rock during your planning process and would be the one helping you not to stress out, not the other way around.
HTH!!
ldrenckhahn
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
It crosses my mind at least once a day!!!!!!!!!
apolishook
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
Wow...ironic that you posted this yesterday. Today I do feel like calling it off.
I do not want kids at the wedding. My cousin has 2 sons one is over 18 and the other is under 18. I am only inviting the older one. My mother said my cousin might not come then. Oh well!!!
Then my mother asks me is I am inviting my neice and nephew (8 1/2 and 5). ***??? I had just told her I DO NOT want kids at the wedding.
His mom has been HOUNDING me all morning because she wants to invite people that my FH has never met (and we had agreed that we would not do that). She has even offered to pay for them, but that is not the point. It is our wedding...not a random party for people to invite their friends to. If these people were so important then they should have met my FH a long time ago. They just got into a huge fight.
Then my FH is now annoyed that I am inviting people I have been friends with for only 6 months (which really isn't true actually)...and some people that he doesn't know (which is stupid...he hasn't even met one of my bridesmaids yet...or my friends that don't live in NY...and some of my other friends).
I am SO LIVID right now!!!!
GRRRR!!!!!!
lyss0908
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
thanks ladies. Believe it or not, I have not called my parents to see how it went, nor have they called me. I promise to post an update as soon as I have one. Just trying to let things calm down a bit. Let me tell you, the stress is wreaking havoc on my digestive system not fun at all ( sorry TMI) lol
i appreciate everyone's advice!
KiTTeN0819
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
Posted by lyss0908
Last night I had a HUGE fight with my parents on the phone over my inlaws guest list. i had previously written about this very same topic but last night was awful. My inlaws have 112 on their list meanwhile my parents have 68 tops. They are going to tell them to cut their list in half. To top it off I had to hear how 'stressed out' my sister (MOH) is over planning my shower and bachelorette party!!!!! Is she F-ing kidding me?! I never asked for a shower first of all. Second she has had more say on what to do than I have in this wedding. I let her pick the dresses and the color!! I never wanted Purple but I would rather she be happy than hear her b*tch! I don't get it. I gave her an idea about the bach party to go to the awesome 80's prom. Hello! That is so inexpensive in the grand scheme of things. 40 bucks for a ticket is too much! Geez, wish someone would have told me that when I spend hundreds of dollars on all my BM's bachelorette parties. So mad, I feel like this whole wedding planning thing is not worth it. I would rather elope. Is it too late to call it off? Would my parents lose their money??? Sorry so long but I needed to vent
Wow take out the part about your maid of honor and you have described my situation. FH has a huge extended family and they 'need' to invite them all.. Me and FH are paying for the hall ourselves and its really getting stressful. We originally planned (and budgeted) for 150. I have 50 fam members tops, so we budgeted for 75 on his side and about 25 friends each.... Well our guest list is now at 225 and i feel like i want to throw up.. His family will not cut anyone and he keeps adding friends daily while i cut pretty much stuck all of mine on the 'B' list. I am at my wits end like you and really wish we would have eloped like i originally wanted. The only reason we are having a big wedding is cause he said his family would have been 'insulted'..
In that list 25 of the people invited are his parents friends that they also 'need' to invite, i told them no way.. they want friends,, they pay for them, including for all the extra invites, favors, centerpieces.. So far thats all weve been able to squeeze out of them. but at least its a start. I know im no help, but i just needed to vent too.
apolishook
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
Posted by KiTTeN0819
Posted by lyss0908
Last night I had a HUGE fight with my parents on the phone over my inlaws guest list. i had previously written about this very same topic but last night was awful. My inlaws have 112 on their list meanwhile my parents have 68 tops. They are going to tell them to cut their list in half. To top it off I had to hear how 'stressed out' my sister (MOH) is over planning my shower and bachelorette party!!!!! Is she F-ing kidding me?! I never asked for a shower first of all. Second she has had more say on what to do than I have in this wedding. I let her pick the dresses and the color!! I never wanted Purple but I would rather she be happy than hear her b*tch! I don't get it. I gave her an idea about the bach party to go to the awesome 80's prom. Hello! That is so inexpensive in the grand scheme of things. 40 bucks for a ticket is too much! Geez, wish someone would have told me that when I spend hundreds of dollars on all my BM's bachelorette parties. So mad, I feel like this whole wedding planning thing is not worth it. I would rather elope. Is it too late to call it off? Would my parents lose their money??? Sorry so long but I needed to vent
Wow take out the part about your maid of honor and you have described my situation. FH has a huge extended family and they 'need' to invite them all.. Me and FH are paying for the hall ourselves and its really getting stressful. We originally planned (and budgeted) for 150. I have 50 fam members tops, so we budgeted for 75 on his side and about 25 friends each.... Well our guest list is now at 225 and i feel like i want to throw up.. His family will not cut anyone and he keeps adding friends daily while i cut pretty much stuck all of mine on the 'B' list. I am at my wits end like you and really wish we would have eloped like i originally wanted. The only reason we are having a big wedding is cause he said his family would have been 'insulted'..
In that list 25 of the people invited are his parents friends that they also 'need' to invite, i told them no way.. they want friends,, they pay for them, including for all the extra invites, favors, centerpieces.. So far thats all weve been able to squeeze out of them. but at least its a start. I know im no help, but i just needed to vent too.
Good for you!! If they want people there they should pay. It's your wedding. Not some random freaking party!
lyss0908
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long**update**
So it seems that my parents attempted to talk to FMIL and it seems she is really not budging on the list. Instead she wants to get together with my mom tomorrow. What the hell!!!!!!!! Why won't she just give it up and put people on a B List!!! arrrghggghhhhh to top it off, my dad had to go to the Dr last night because people have been telling him he has been breathing heavy. He already has a heart condition. Turns out his pressure was really high. When will this end???!!
SoonToBeMrsScott
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
Talk to your fh first then your parents about what you want to do and move from there
Autumnbride03
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
ugh.... I asked FMIL for her list , and last weekend she finally gave it to me... well, a whole bunch of FH's cousins (some that FH didn't even want to invite but is obligated) have 'and guest' written next to them. I know they don't even have girlfriends- I don't think so!! Luckily FH agrees with me so I'll let him deal with it... lol.
apolishook
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
Posted by Autumnbride03
ugh.... I asked FMIL for her list , and last weekend she finally gave it to me... well, a whole bunch of FH's cousins (some that FH didn't even want to invite but is obligated) have 'and guest' written next to them. I know they don't even have girlfriends- I don't think so!! Luckily FH agrees with me so I'll let him deal with it... lol.
We are not inviting 'and guest' unless we know the person is in a relationship...
mls282
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
I have been engaged for 2 weeks and already I have considered scratching the whole darn thing and eloping. Deep down I always wanted a wedding though so I wont do it. But my parents and the soon to be in laws are driving me crazy already. Same stuff guest list. Me and my man are paying for the entire thing and my parents want to invite friends and family I dont even know and then have the nerve to tell me and my man to cut our friends list!!! ***!! right? So I just decided I am playing I dont have to care abotu hurt feelings or witholding of money so I am just going to be a bridezilla and tell them the deal. 'MY WAY or the Highway! Next time they start going off I am going to threaten to elope... then they will all shut their darn traps. Once I find the place I am going to set a number. Any others they want invited will go on the B list and will be invited only if my RSVP numbers start dwindling. Thats all :)
Don't worry it will get better... I hope :)
mls282
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Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long
Posted by apolishook
Posted by Autumnbride03
ugh.... I asked FMIL for her list , and last weekend she finally gave it to me... well, a whole bunch of FH's cousins (some that FH didn't even want to invite but is obligated) have 'and guest' written next to them. I know they don't even have girlfriends- I don't think so!! Luckily FH agrees with me so I'll let him deal with it... lol.
We are not inviting 'and guest' unless we know the person is in a relationship...
I like that idea. I am going to do that for the most of them too except the bridal party. I think I will invite them with Guests :)
