Brides Helping Brides ™ - Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long**UPDATE**

lyss0908 Posted: Jun 04, 2008 05:45 PM

Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so longUPDATE

Last night I had a HUGE fight with my parents on the phone over my inlaws guest list. i had previously written about this very same topic but last night was awful. My inlaws have 112 on their list meanwhile my parents have 68 tops. They are going to tell them to cut their list in half. To top it off I had to hear how 'stressed out' my sister (MOH) is over planning my shower and bachelorette party!!!!! Is she F-ing kidding me?! I never asked for a shower first of all. Second she has had more say on what to do than I have in this wedding. I let her pick the dresses and the color!! I never wanted Purple but I would rather she be happy than hear her b*tch! I don't get it. I gave her an idea about the bach party to go to the awesome 80's prom. Hello! That is so inexpensive in the grand scheme of things. 40 bucks for a ticket is too much! Geez, wish someone would have told me that when I spend hundreds of dollars on all my BM's bachelorette parties. So mad, I feel like this whole wedding planning thing is not worth it. I would rather elope. Is it too late to call it off? Would my parents lose their money??? Sorry so long but I needed to vent
***UPDATE***

**** Well My dad finally had it out with my FIL' s and told them they have a certain amount of people and after that they have no choice but to cover them if they want to invite them! WHEW!!! What a relief. I don't understand why it took so long to resolve this but I am glad it is done. FMIL had the nerve to complain that she has not been involved in any of the planning and my dad was like no offense but you haven't given a dime yet so why would you be involved? Besides it was me and FH who basically decided on the hall and the band and told my parents thats what we wanted. She knew that from the get go and now she decides to complain about it! arrgghh I don't care now- as long as the financials are taken care of nothing else matters!!

stinenandy2010 Posted: Jun 04, 2008 05:57 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

Thats why we are all here, vent away! Good Luck with everything!

I would let things cool off a bit before making any decisions!

Snick n Nick Posted: Jun 04, 2008 05:59 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

MrsH09 Posted: Jun 04, 2008 06:17 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

Don't call it off without talking to ur parents first. I would let things cool down a bit then sit down and have a serious talk with them and see what they say.

MD835 Posted: Jun 04, 2008 06:46 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

i would suggest taking some time off from the planning and go out drinking with FH or something just to unwind ... things will get better, you'll see ...

shopaholic07 Posted: Jun 04, 2008 06:58 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

I agree with the above posters----let things cool off a bit before you make any major decisions. Are your parents paying for the wedding? If so (and your inlaws aren't contributing anything), then your parents should by all means, ask them to trim down their list. Or have your FH tell them to do instead.

ant090608 Posted: Jun 04, 2008 07:31 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

I like that idea! We all need to vent about something. THere is always something that makes me feel like it is not worth going through the hassle, but when you settle down you realize it is so worth it all!

Ray8183 Posted: Jun 04, 2008 07:33 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

Posted by shopaholic07

I agree with the above posters----let things cool off a bit before you make any major decisions. Are your parents paying for the wedding? If so (and your inlaws aren't contributing anything), then your parents should by all means, ask them to trim down their list. Or have your FH tell them to do instead.

I agree take time off from planning. The most important thing is your happiness with your FH.

lyss0908 Posted: Jun 04, 2008 07:35 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

Thanks, I know deep down I don't want to call it off, but I just hope the day is worth all the tears and drama. FH parents contributed a certain amount but not enough to make a dent unfortunately. it feels awful even saying that their amount is not enough, but unfortunately this wedding is turning out bigger than my parents had planned for. I just dont want to be the reason my dad can not retire.

tstaa1vw Posted: Jun 04, 2008 08:00 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

I'm sorry your going through this, cheer up!

What is your minimum? You can base the number of people your FMIL can invite by taking half of your minimum and then adding 20% (estimated no-shows)

Good luck!

lyss0908 Posted: Jun 04, 2008 08:03 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

our minimum is 150 and that is the max my parents want to pay for. I just hope things go better than I am thinking they will tonight when my mom confronts his mom

tstaa1vw Posted: Jun 04, 2008 08:09 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

Ours is 150 too and my dad pretty much refuses to pay for over 160...If we go over, FH and I will probably pay the difference.

If your future inlaws cut back to about 95 guests, you guys should be ok...If they refuse, maybe you can ask them to pay the difference if you go over 150

Hope the phone call goes well!

SFAR89 Posted: Jun 04, 2008 08:21 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

I have felt this way soo many times. Just hang in there, maybe what you can do is seriously sit down and talk about it with them. Let them know that you are stressed out with everything. I am at the end of my rope with my mother in law, but I can tell her when things are bothering me. Once I do I feel so much better. :)

Good Luck hun. It will be worth it in the end :)

PegaLega Posted: Jun 04, 2008 08:23 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

Let things cool down first, right now you are of upset and angry but you will regret it if you call it off for the outsiders having their opinions.
Its worth it, in the end it is all worth it-I promise, just make your own decisions and just tune people out. they are going to do what they want anyway-so why be a part of the stress and annoying complaints

DCW 2008 Posted: Jun 04, 2008 09:10 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

Let things cool off. Don't cancel it!!!
If I made it this far, anyone can
I had arguments with everyone. People are funny when it comes to things. It will all work out.

mjay Posted: Jun 04, 2008 09:21 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

It seems to me like you are highly upset right now and unable to make any rational decisions.. I would definately let things cool off a bit before making any drastic decisions. Wedding planning is hard and stressfull trust me and all of us we all know how hard it can be.. Take it one day at a time.. Good Luck sweetie

gettinghizitched Posted: Jun 04, 2008 09:40 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

I feel the same way. My sister (MOH) is always bitching about something. The other bridesmaids aren't even coming to my bach party. Bitches. Some of them I wont even talk to after the wedding. I've been stressed this whole time and I'm finally getting married in 3 weeks. Thank god but you really do find out who is really there for you and who is just there. Sorry to vent but I really can't wait for this wedding to be over! I hope that you can have some fun in planning your wedding. And just think the only thing that matters is you and your FH. HTH.

lyss0908 Posted: Jun 04, 2008 09:42 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

Posted by gettinghizitched

I feel the same way. My sister (MOH) is always bitching about something. The other bridesmaids aren't even coming to my bach party. Bitches. Some of them I wont even talk to after the wedding. I've been stressed this whole time and I'm finally getting married in 3 weeks. Thank god but you really do find out who is really there for you and who is just there. Sorry to vent but I really can't wait for this wedding to be over! I hope that you can have some fun in planning your wedding. And just think the only thing that matters is you and your FH. HTH.

thanks, Sorry you had to go through it as well. Your light at the end of the tunnel is almost here! Congrats!!

gettinghizitched Posted: Jun 04, 2008 09:46 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

Posted by lyss0908

Posted by gettinghizitched

I feel the same way. My sister (MOH) is always bitching about something. The other bridesmaids aren't even coming to my bach party. Bitches. Some of them I wont even talk to after the wedding. I've been stressed this whole time and I'm finally getting married in 3 weeks. Thank god but you really do find out who is really there for you and who is just there. Sorry to vent but I really can't wait for this wedding to be over! I hope that you can have some fun in planning your wedding. And just think the only thing that matters is you and your FH. HTH.

thanks, Sorry you had to go through it as well. Your light at the end of the tunnel is almost here! Congrats!!

Thanks! It's been a long year and i must say the last 2 months are hard. I'm pulling for you so don't cancel just take this one day at a time.

apolishook Posted: Jun 04, 2008 09:50 PM

Re: Have you ever felt like calling off the wedding? Sorry so long

One of my maid of honors (I have 3...and 4 bridesmaids)...(I am sure this is the one that has initiated the planning of any shower and/or bachelorette party that I am having)...has eluded to some of my bridal party making comments or having issues with stuff (because it's my SECOND wedding). I do not know the details or who said what, but she has told my FH. Hopefully one of them will fill me in when it's all over. My FH has never been married...which is why I am having a wedding again...so how is it fair to not go through everything since he has never done it before. Besides...who's business is it anyway...if I want a wedding again...that my FH and I are paying for 100%??? If someone didn't want to be in my wedding party they should have said something. GRRRR!!!!

Sorry for the venting.

I would politely tell your inlaws that the budget allows them to invite XX amount of people. Any additional they would have to cover the cost of.