Have you ever un-invited a guest?!?!

Here's my dilemma:

A girl who I have known for about seven years, and who is super flaky, RSVP'd yes to my shower and didn't show. She didn't contact anyone (she knew everyone there) and I had to track her down, which in of itself was hard. She said the woman who was supposed to cover her at work quit THE WEEK BEFORE. She said 'sorry' and then started a fight with my MOH, her close friend.

Fast forward two weeks - she rsvp's YES to a mutual close friends baby shower. Guess who didn't show up?!?!

I wanted to tell her before not to bother coming, bc I am so over her friendship. She hasn't been a good friend for at least a year, but I was inviting her out of nostalgia.

I want to now send her an email saying not to bother to come. I figure that if I send her an email saying 'if you rsvp yes, you better come, blah blah and explain to her AGAIN that when you say yes people pay money for you to be there...but I really think that she would still say yes and then possibly not show.

What would you do?

And btw - I know sending that email with don't come would end the friendship, but at this point. I'm over it.

that's tough.

i think sending that e-mail will definitely end your friendship.

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsFox

that's tough.

i think sending that e-mail will definitely end your friendship.

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this

you sent her an invite already? in my mind i would just count her as a 'no' even if she rsvps yes and then be pleasantly surprised if she shows up

HTH

ETS: maybe just count her as a no then. & dont waste another thoguht on her. if she shows up then so be it. have her sit with the vendors..........

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Posted by FDNYwife1029

just let it go & let her come. end the relationship after the wedding if you still want to at that point.... you might even have a change of heart or regret her not coming.

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It's not really about letting her come though. It's about whether she will stress me out about whether she will show up that night or not. Even if she says yes, I no longer trust that she will be there, and we could easily invite someone who wants to come who will show up.

If I count her as a no, what happens cost wise with the RH is she shows up??

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Posted by MarryingMyBFF1110

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Posted by FDNYwife1029

just let it go & let her come. end the relationship after the wedding if you still want to at that point.... you might even have a change of heart or regret her not coming.

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It's not really about letting her come though. It's about whether she will stress me out about whether she will show up that night or not. Even if she says yes, I no longer trust that she will be there, and we could easily invite someone who wants to come who will show up.

If I count her as a no, what happens cost wise with the RH is she shows up??

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you just pay extra for her

i have about 30 people on my dad's family side that i'm counting as 'no' even though 1/2 of them have already said yes. if they show up, ill throw another table next to the band and pay for them, but there is NO WAY im paying for them and they are notorious for not showing up to thigns after they RSVPed yes

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Posted by leesah85

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Posted by MarryingMyBFF1110

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Posted by FDNYwife1029

just let it go & let her come. end the relationship after the wedding if you still want to at that point.... you might even have a change of heart or regret her not coming.

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It's not really about letting her come though. It's about whether she will stress me out about whether she will show up that night or not. Even if she says yes, I no longer trust that she will be there, and we could easily invite someone who wants to come who will show up.

If I count her as a no, what happens cost wise with the RH is she shows up??

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you just pay extra for her

i have about 30 people on my dad's family side that i'm counting as 'no' even though 1/2 of them have already said yes. if they show up, ill throw another table next to the band and pay for them, but there is NO WAY im paying for them and they are notorious for not showing up to thigns after they RSVPed yes

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Hmm.. I didn't know this was possible....it's a great back up

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Posted by MarryingMyBFF1110

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Posted by leesah85

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Posted by MarryingMyBFF1110

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Posted by FDNYwife1029

just let it go & let her come. end the relationship after the wedding if you still want to at that point.... you might even have a change of heart or regret her not coming.

---

It's not really about letting her come though. It's about whether she will stress me out about whether she will show up that night or not. Even if she says yes, I no longer trust that she will be there, and we could easily invite someone who wants to come who will show up.

If I count her as a no, what happens cost wise with the RH is she shows up??

---

you just pay extra for her

i have about 30 people on my dad's family side that i'm counting as 'no' even though 1/2 of them have already said yes. if they show up, ill throw another table next to the band and pay for them, but there is NO WAY im paying for them and they are notorious for not showing up to thigns after they RSVPed yes

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Hmm.. I didn't know this was possible....it's a great back up

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yeah, you have to keep it on the DL from your RH, but no sense in paying for people who you're not sure are gonna come anyway. you can always settle up the day of and you have to expect to have a few no-shows anyway

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Posted by leesah85

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Posted by MarryingMyBFF1110

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Posted by leesah85

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Posted by MarryingMyBFF1110

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Posted by FDNYwife1029

just let it go & let her come. end the relationship after the wedding if you still want to at that point.... you might even have a change of heart or regret her not coming.

---

It's not really about letting her come though. It's about whether she will stress me out about whether she will show up that night or not. Even if she says yes, I no longer trust that she will be there, and we could easily invite someone who wants to come who will show up.

If I count her as a no, what happens cost wise with the RH is she shows up??

---

you just pay extra for her

i have about 30 people on my dad's family side that i'm counting as 'no' even though 1/2 of them have already said yes. if they show up, ill throw another table next to the band and pay for them, but there is NO WAY im paying for them and they are notorious for not showing up to thigns after they RSVPed yes

---

Hmm.. I didn't know this was possible....it's a great back up

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yeah, you have to keep it on the DL from your RH, but no sense in paying for people who you're not sure are gonna come anyway. you can always settle up the day of and you have to expect to have a few no-shows anyway

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So true..thanks !!

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Posted by leesah85

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsFox

that's tough.

i think sending that e-mail will definitely end your friendship.

---

this

you sent her an invite already? in my mind i would just count her as a 'no' even if she rsvps yes and then be pleasantly surprised if she shows up

HTH

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This!!

You have too much stuff to do to be uninviting people. Plus you don't know if she's going through a struggle that is making her hide away/ depressed... I say just let it be

ughhhhh I have sorta the same issue!!! I have a friend who I've known for about the same time, and I've been through everything with her... her bridal shower, I was in her wedding party, her baby shower X2 for BOTH her kids! My FH has done a lot of work at her house...(he's an electrician) I was there when she purchased her first house and second house (helping paint and everything) etc... She doesn't even respond to my shower!!! After all that, the first big thing in my life, she totally disregards!!! I am more hurt than anything, but I had already sent them a 'save the date' so I felt it was only proper that I send a wedding invite. My invites have been out for 2 weeks and I haven't heard from her yet.... I'm waiting for my rsvp date, to unleash my fury!!! We also bought a house 3 months ago, and she never even called to say anything, nevermind stopping by to see it!

Now that I wrote it all out i'm even more pissed!!!!

Anyway, to answer your question, I would like to uninvite some people, but i just can't do it....