Having a little problem....need advice please!! (long)

Original post by DrmnBlnd

Jan 30, 2003 01:10 PM

OK...I'm not getting married until next year, but I am already having problems with my FMIL. She lives in Massachusetts, as do a lot of our guests. She has already said that she wants to give me a shower up there, and not have to worry about all the guests (plus herself) getting to the shower down here.

Am I wrong to get upset about this? I always thought the MOH was supposed to plan the shower, and that there was supposed to be ONE. How difficult is it to make a trip to your future-daughter-in-law's shower?

I haven't told my MOH or my mother about this. I KNOW they will get upset.

I am agonizing over this. My FH doesn't seem to be upset about it, and that he will speak to her 'when the time is right'.

What should I do?

V&S03 Posted: Jan 30, 2003 05:57 PM

Re: Having a little problem....need advice please!! (long)

I don't think she means anything bad by it she is probably thinking about the guests who would have to travel twice to come to your shower and then in a couple of weeks to your wedding. I think it would be nice to go away for a weekend and have a shower there and also with your other family in N.Y.
Don't let it get to you, it will all work out fine

DrmnBlnd Posted: Jan 30, 2003 05:59 PM

Re: Having a little problem....need advice please!! (long)

The one here was going to be my only one. The thing is, my FMIL never asked if I was having one here. It seems as though she really doesn't care. She wants to do what she wants to do, and that's that. I actually think it is kind of rude that she never took the time to ask me about anything. I just don't want anyones feelings hurt by any of this....

Betty Posted: Jan 30, 2003 06:03 PM

Re: Having a little problem....need advice please!! (long)

That is true. She should consider your feelings...This is about you!!!! If you don't want both then you let her know!!

V&S03 Posted: Jan 30, 2003 06:06 PM

Re: Having a little problem....need advice please!! (long)

I obviously don't know her personally but I really think she is just trying to do something nice for you. She probably feels like she wants everyone to be able to make it to the shower.

DrmnBlnd Posted: Jan 30, 2003 06:26 PM

Re: Having a little problem....need advice please!! (long)

That very well could be true.....

avesur Posted: Jan 30, 2003 08:19 PM

Re: Having a little problem....need advice please!! (long)

Here I am putting my 2 cents:

If the intention of the shower is good, by meaing that for her and the rest of the guests from there is very hard to come here, then let her do one shower for you there. But let her know that you are having also one here with your friends and family, she shouldn't get upset because if she does not want to come, she shouldn't think that people from here would go all the way there.

Good luck!