Okay when I first met joe, my mom told me to just run off and elope. She told me not to bother with a wedding. We were going to do that, but joe wanted a wedding. So thats is what we set up to do. Well very early on I went to some wedding dress stores and tried on some dress. I was alone and I felt my mother should be with me. So I made an appointment for both of us to go. I told my mom and she refused! She told me how I shouldn't waste my time wearing something so expensive and such a waste. She said I should go with what I really wanted and not bother what everyones wants me to do. So took her advise. I picked out something that was orginal and fit me perfectly. My FH loves it and I feel very happy with it. But now my brother just got engaged. He and his FW live with my mom. Angie (my brothers FW) doesn't drive, so my mom had to drive her to the dress store. She saw angie all dressed up and now she wants me to do the same! She gave me a lecture about how I should be like royality on my wedding. Pretty much she doesn't want angie to up stage me. I think that mentality is just stupid. I'm not having a wedding to show off, or upstage anyone. I'm having a wedding because I'm in love and I have no desire to dress up like a cupcake. Now she is giving me grief, but for the wrong reasons. She has the mentality that no one is good enough for her kids, and she treats joe and angie like c*. I've had it with her. Sorry just venting!
jantany26
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Re: Headache from my mother!
yeah, moms can be pita's but we still love them. Don't let her get to you, just do you what you want.
suven
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Re: Headache from my mother!
OMG, 'dressing up like a cupcake' just made me bust out laughing!!!
I don't think she wants you to upstage Angie. Maybe she's just concerned that you should look like the 'woman of the day' if that makes sense?
glinda_goodwitch
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Re: Headache from my mother!
I can relate to the cupcake comment too. When I tried some of those big ballgowns on, I felt like I was sitting on top of a cake!!
Seriously though, don't let her get you down. Its not a competition. Do things your way, and have the wedding of your dreams. Maybe you could add some traditional touches to your wedding to appease your mom. If you two are close, it would be nice if you could plan some parts of the wedding together. Hope this helps
LilyOfValley
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Re: Headache from my mother!
I think she just wants you to look and feel like a princess. I'm sure the dress that you bought makes you feel that way...so tell her! I think she just got all excited and didn't expect it when she saw FSIL in her gown and probably wants the same for you. Maybe she regrets not going with you for a dress?
palebride
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Re: Headache from my mother!
While she is your mother and she'll always be there for you - you need to do what you want to do for your wedding. It is your day and your marriage and you need to do what makes you happy
BKtoLI
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Re: Headache from my mother!
OMG my mother did almost the same exact thing, so I can relate!! Before she came dress shopping with me she rambled on about how my SILs and my cousin all didn't look like princesses at their weddings and how their dresses were plain.
Wouldn't you guess it that the dress she picked out (and I admit did look great on me) was this poof of a ballgown and then she started going on about how my aunt, cousin, SILs and friends are all going to be jealous when they see me in my dress??!!
I think she just regrets not having that experience with you, and wants you to look like the princess you deserve to look like, whether it's in a poofy ballgown or a slim sheath. Stick to YOUR tastes regardless of what she wants!!
PegaLega
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Re: Headache from my mother!
If you are happy with what you chose to wear then tell her. Do what you want-it is your wedding. All parents are like that but she needs to understand that you are comfortable with what you have.
EmberLynn
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Re: Headache from my mother!
I understand where you all are coming from, but to my mother weddings are a waste, but she will be darned if some 'mole' my FSIL would out stage me. Shes pretty much said that. The reason she refused to go dress shopping with me in the first place was because and she even told afterwards, was she didn't want to be bothered. She was pretty much forced to take angie because she doesn't drive. She is just trying to give me a hard time. I'm not wearing a traditional wedding dress, and considering that she wore purple pants on her wedding and took of a motocycle at the end, I don't feel she should be giving me the lectures on traditions. Its just another one of her head games she is playing. She likes screwing with my mind, trying to put doubts in my head. She does it to all her children.
amyandbill
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Re: Headache from my mother!
Most of us have at least some wedding issues with our mothers. My mother originally encouraged me to elope as well but my fh really wanted a wedding and I sort of did as well. If it makes you feel any better my mother told me that I had to do the Horah at my wedding, that her friends would be so disappointed. Well, I am Jewish, fh is Catholic and we are not incorporating religion into any part of our wedding, we are not doing a horah, I was firm with her about it. All you can do is smile and nod... You wear what you want, it's your day and I am sure you chose what you will feel most comfortable in and that's what's important
KerriSteve
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Re: Headache from my mother!
All mothers are like that, don't feel bad. Just wear what you want to and i'm sure your mom will love it. And I'm sure you'll look better than your FSIL anyway!!! just kidding
