Hi ladies, I'm new to the site. I'm hoping someone out there can relate to what I'm going through. My boyfriend and have been together for over a year and have been talking about getting married since the beginning of 2005. We are not yet engaged, but plan to marry November 2006. This past weekend we looked at places to have the reception, but now I'm feeling so depressed because I don't want to be doing this planning without being engaged. But every place we looked at is practically full for 2006 so I'm getting worried we will not find a place. I know the engagement is coming any day but I feel like I'm going to explode! Should I wait to start the planning or take the chance and hope that some of our favorite places are still available?
jilmadison
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I'm so sorry to hear that. Personally I would wait. I was in the same boat as you a year and a half ago. I thought for sure we would be ready to get married Oct. of 2005. But it took longer than we thought to get engaged. So i am glad i waited to book anything
divabride
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Im sure there will still be plenty of places available, but you'll just have to be open to different dates. If your confident that the engagment will come soon, then just relax and go with the flow. He might just be waiting for the holidays to propose. If your not in a hurry to get married though, why not opt for November of 2007? I too had a two year engagment and it not only gave us time to save money, but I got all the vendors I wanted because I booked so early. Either way good luck and welcome to LIW!!
ChrissynRicky
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Honestly, I'd use the term 'don't count your chickens before they hatch' - don't book anything unless it's definite that you're getting married. I'd be a little patient, wait for the engagement, and then start looking at places.
You don't want to end up putting down a deposit that you might lose.
We originally were set for October '06, but then moved it to April '06 b/c of scheduling conflicts - so be patient, it's coming!!!!
Best of Luck and an Early Congrats!
tracy2246
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I was in the same situation sort of-someone told me he was buying a ring and then a few months later I found out why it was taking so long-but we decided to look at halls anyway just to get an idea-
we booked the hall in the morning and that night we got engaged-I think you should do what you are comfortable with-
only one person gave me grief for making plans with out a ring
HTH
JCam695
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I would also wait. Don't let reception hall availablity make you nuts.
I know you are getting anxious about the proposal (I think we all were) but let it happen naturally. I think you and your boyfriend will be grateful for it in the end.
prncssrachel
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Only YOU can make the decision of whether or not it's smart to start making the plans now. If you REALLY know this is the person you are going to spend your life with, then a ring does not matter. But if spending your life with him depends on a ring, then I think you need to think through whatever it is you want to do. I honestly do not think a ring makes things any more official than just deciding with someone that you want to be together forever. JMO.
Jennie0898
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Posted by ChristineAE
Honestly, I'd use the term 'don't count your chickens before they hatch' - don't book anything unless it's definite that you're getting married. I'd be a little patient, wait for the engagement, and then start looking at places.
You don't want to end up putting down a deposit that you might lose.
I agree 100%.
October Bliss
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If you don't want to plan before it's official, then don't. I personally started doing research with magazines and online before it was official. I also found my dress before it was official. However, as soon as he went to the jeweler with my mother to pick out a diamond, she started booking appointments to look at catering halls. I think I looked at 8-10 halls before I had my ring, and another 8-10 after. But, I didn't put a deposit down on anything without the ring. Not because I didn't think it would happen, but because I was superstitious and didn't want to jinx it.
As for your favorite place being available, so long as you are willing to be flexible with your date, I wouldn't worry about it too much.
BHW
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I would wait. One of our friends looked at places with his girlfriend before they got engaged. They had been together for at least 5 years and decided to start the early stages of wedding planning. They talked about getting married, but never officially got engaged. After reserving a date with the church, booking a reception hall, and putting down a deposit (all before getting engaged), the girl got cold feet and they broke up. I'm not trying to depress you, but I'd make sure it was official before you do any serious planning.
ETA: However, we have a friend who had a date and booked a reception hall a few months before getting engaged. Since the girlfriend was in med school, they could only get married in the summer of 2007. They booked the place early b/c they chose memorial day weekend. About a month ago our friend proposed and now they will do the rest of the wedding planning.
MissingTheBGene
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Posted by prncssrachel
Only YOU can make the decision of whether or not it's smart to start making the plans now. If you REALLY know this is the person you are going to spend your life with, then a ring does not matter. But if spending your life with him depends on a ring, then I think you need to think through whatever it is you want to do. I honestly do not think a ring makes things any more official than just deciding with someone that you want to be together forever. JMO.
I agree with this. Only you know if you and your FI are serious about getting married, hence making the decision to start planning. You can be engaged without a ring, but if you were just discussing marriage in passing, then perhaps discuss it in more detail and see if you both are on the same page. If you both are ready, I don't see anything wrong with starting to plan together.
Don't get me wrong, a ring is nice, but if you're both committed to each other, the ring is just a symbol of engagement, not the act.
Best of luck!
MrsH1156
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Honestly, I started looking before I got engaged as well. We live together and I knew it was happening soon so I started looking. Felt like a had a better handle on our options for when we finally were ready to book. I'd say do as much research as you can beforehand because it will make it easier. You also have to remember that sometimes dates get changed so something that wasn't available this month could very well be available next month. If there is a place you are especially interested in but they don't have the date you want, see if they have a waiting list or something. Good luck with your planning!
SillyBeans
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I know how you feel about waiting for the ring I would wait though, unless he really wants to book the reception hall right away. If he insists that you go ahead and book, that probably means the ring is on it's way
mclane
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Posted by VeeandRich
I know how you feel about waiting for the ring I would wait though, unless he really wants to book the reception hall right away. If he insists that you go ahead and book, that probably means the ring is on it's way
agree 100%
Soon2BeMrsS
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Hi,
Fh & I are together almost 4 yrs we live together, we're practically married,lol.
Yet My ring isn't on my finger it's in our safe at home....
We decided it would be better for us to plan before we announce and he proposes formally, that way when the questions & suggestions come we already have our minds made up..
We were looking at 2006 too, we both love autum and want Novemer (we wanted 11-11 too) the truth is for the grand black tie gala we desire I want more time I want a selection of places not just what's left..
This is fun the journey is just as fun as the destination
So now we're hoping for 07 but may be 08, if I can't get the place I want....
Things work out for reasons
JimmysBride
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I would wait. The perfect place will be there waiting for you.
Think about it this way...there are people who will get engaged after you and want to get married the same year as you and they will still find a reception hall.
Don't let the pressure these halls put on you to book get to you!! I would stay away from meeting with vendors until you have the official proposal because it's just going to make you nuts in the meantime.
thefirstlady
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If I were you, I'd just do research for now. Look at halls, look online, buy the magazines and pull out stuff you like. You might end up getting a great deal in the end if you wait, that sometimes happens! Good luck!
Soon2BeMrsS
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Make a bridal notebook!
I know this sounds silly but it's such a great tool!
Bobbysgirl
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AWWW!! I would try to wait though. The ring is a form of commitment, you know? You wouldn't want to do things unles you have that commitment IMO. I hope everything works out for you! We are here if you need us!
engaged&excited
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Just to help a little--I am getting married on November 10, 2006 and we just booked it. Almost all the places had that weekend open(we actually wondered what was wrong with it). We looked at Carlyle, Carltun, Woodlands, Harrison House and finally booked the Royalton. But, I think I would probably wait for the proposal first to even start looking. If you are sure to be married in November whats the hold up on the proposal? I can understand no ring for money purposes but at least a proposal??? But to feel better that weekend seems to be pretty open(for now). And if not, Im sure December will have openings too! It will come
