one of my bridesmaids is giving me a hard time. i told her recently that i wanted tube top dresses and she got mad at me! she told me that if she had to wear a tube top dress that she would not be in my wedding!! she is the biggest one out of my BM's, should the dress really revolve around her or me???
SeptBride70
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Re: help! BM drama...
Hmm, that's a tuff one. For me, no matter how much I did or did not like a dress, I would never say anything and wear whatever the bride wanted. But for some people who feel uncomfortable about their size it might be really hard for them. I think she should have definitely told you in a much nicer way rather than just saying that she wouldn't be in your BP anymore. I think she could have come to you and just simply said that she didn't feel right wearing that type of dress and if there was anything else you could do to try and accomodate her and how she feels. I mean, b/c it is you doing her a favor by accomodating her-- so she could have asked. But it's a difficult situation... Does it show belly or anything?? Like, a typical tube top or just a strapless-2 piece dress?
ant n tilde
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Re: help! BM drama...
i would NEVER say anything to the bride about a dress!
however, since i usually dont feel comfortable in strapless maybe i would ask if i could put little straps on or something. . . but i wouldnt complain about the dress as a whole. . .that is rude!
jessandjimiswedding
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Re: help! BM drama...
Posted by STBMrsDaniRella
Does it show belly or anything?? Like, a typical tube top or just a strapless-2 piece dress?
i would NEVER say anything to the bride about a dress!
however, since i usually dont feel comfortable in strapless maybe i would ask if i could put little straps on or something. . . but i wouldnt complain about the dress as a whole. . .that is rude!
same here. every wedding i've been in, i never even had a choice now that i think of it!
Das142
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Re: help! BM drama...
I totally understand what you are going thru, you have to do what you like and thats it, otherwise you will never be happy! There is always going to be someone that doesnt like something! Stick to what you like!!!! It IS YOUR DAY!!!!!!
Das142
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Re: help! BM drama...
Posted by jessandjimiswedding
Posted by STBMrsDaniRella
Does it show belly or anything?? Like, a typical tube top or just a strapless-2 piece dress?
I was in my friend's wedding as her MOH and her dress was horrid and unflattering...but it was her wedding and if I didn't like it, I could step down. I complained to my mom of course, but never in front of her!
kcion
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Re: help! BM drama...
I actually think the middle is flattering It makes the boobs stand out more and brings in the belly Can she get an undergarment that will suck her in a bit?
PegaLega
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Re: help! BM drama...
It really should be what you want-its your wedding, but I can understand her side too-she may just bhe uncomfortable. maybe let her add spaghetti straps if that is her problem, toherwise I think the dress is very pretty and flattering for a larger body
kcion
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Re: help! BM drama...
Not to be a BIATCH but you're getting married in a little over A YEAR. If she is that upset about her own image, she has PLENTY of time to do something about it
It could kind of be a coming out party for her new figure too!!!
I just don't know how you would go about saying that to her because weight is a VERY SENSITIVE topic (I know, I am currently a smidge over where I want to be too) but if she is being that stubborn about it, maybe you should let her be the one to make the decision.
It's your wedding and you should be able to pick the dress you like.
SeptBride70
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Re: help! BM drama...
Posted by Das142
Posted by jessandjimiswedding
Posted by STBMrsDaniRella
Does it show belly or anything?? Like, a typical tube top or just a strapless-2 piece dress?
Yeah, see that's a beautiful dress- and if anything, two piece is more flattering than any other style! At first I thought you meant like tube top with the stomach out and everything b/c why else would someone get upset about a dress? I guess she is just really insecure-- I'm so sorry about that!! I would never say anything to a bride myself but some people are different If this is the way she is going to be about just a dress maybe it is better if she is not in your BP b/c she is going to be a problem in the future-- I can tell already. Just say I'm sorry if you are not comfortable then you shouldn't be in the wedding party b/c this dress is pretty common and normal-- so you are not going to feel right about ANY dress then. SO sorry again
rojerono
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Re: help! BM drama...
I would tell her that THIS is the dress and that you are sorry she doesn't appreciate it, but she can either wear it as a bridesmaid or she can choose to wear anything she likes - as a guest.
PeterNina Mom
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Re: help! BM drama...
Posted by jessandjimiswedding
Posted by STBMrsDaniRella
Does it show belly or anything?? Like, a typical tube top or just a strapless-2 piece dress?
That's very pretty....why would she have a problem with that?
hayleyandsteve
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Re: help! BM drama...
that's terrible of her to say that to you!
i'd stick with the dress... its beautiful!
if a dress is more important to her than being a part of your wedding... i think that the friendship needs to be reevaluated!!
EGreene79
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Re: help! BM drama...
Obviously, go with what you want, BUT if you're willing to compromise ... My friend had a girl in her party that was a plus size, and wasn't comfortable in strapless, so my friend allowed us to use the straps if we wanted. It doesn't make things 100% better, but she won't have to get the top so fitted that she's uncomfortable, she can rely on the straps to hold it up.
GabrielleandJohn
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Re: help! BM drama...
I totally think you should do what you want.
My BP is 3 girls of totally different sizes. One ballarina, one tall and thin and one short and heavier. Since I am an Alfred Angelo Bride as well, I chose a length, color and fabric and told them to pick what they want. Approval is necessary and I don't want to see their boobies but other than that, pick away.
JMM7876
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Re: help! BM drama...
I totally agree that you should do whatever you want...it is your wedding! I personally would never said anything to the bride either...but I wouldn't like strapless b/c I am big chested..as long as I had straps or I wasn't popping out...I would deal with it. Maybe she will come around...Good Luck!!
neener1211
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Re: help! BM drama...
hey jess, I think even on a bigger girl, that dress would look nice...the criss cross in the middle would actually hide any stomach someone had I think....I am not stick thin, and I would totally wear that dress....
I am in a wedding right now and don't like the dress...i'll switch with her!!! lol
dianadrw
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Re: help! BM drama...
I've been in many weddings. Some dresses I liked and some I hated. But I never told the bride I wouldn't be in the wedding if she made me wear a certain dress. Personally, I let my girls pick the dresses that they wanted in a color and fabric I wanted. I didn't want to have any of this kind of drama.
