HELP - Bridal Party HELP! (LONG) but please help...
Original post by weirdo168
Okay - it's been over a month since I've gotten engaged and I still have yet to announce my BMs and my MOH(s). I'm really have difficulty picking/choosing who they are. Here are my issues:
Currently I have in mind 2 MOH
1st MOH - I've known since we were in 6th grade - we've been best friends since then. She's asked me to be her MOH (although she probably will not be getting married before me) - however - my dilemma is she's not a planner and she's not proactive in making sure I'm on track. I mean she doesn't even know I've booked a venue and found 'THE DRESS'. But I feel obligated to pick her to be my MOH.
2nd MOH - I've known her since High School but we became better friends senior year of College. She considers me her BFF - but I just consider her a good friend - I believe she's expecting to be my MOH - but I feel more comfortable in having her as one of my BMs but I think her being one of my MOH she'll help me out more than the first.
I currently have 6 BMs in mind: 1st BM - my sister that's a given 2nd BM - very good friend since 7th grade. We click but I don't consider her one of my BFFs. (I think it's hard for me to declare someone my BFF) 3rd & 4th BMs - they come in pairs - I've known them since 6th grade as well - we've kept in touch since. They I believe will absolutely help me no matter what.
Here's the issue: 5th BM - she's my fiance's best man's gf - I've known her about 3 years (ever since they started dating) but she's giving me that jealously/funny feeling - where the impression is 'How come I'm not the one engaged' or when I talk to her about wedding stuff like what dresses I liked - she would add 'Oh I like that one on me too or I would like to have that one when I get married' - am I nuts to think she's a NUTSO? I feel really uneasy in having her as my BM but then again I don't want any tension between us - I mean honestly I think she thinks I'm going to choose her...Since we do a lot of double dates. But she's not the one getting married - she keeps giving me the feeling like she wished her bf asked her first although - I've waited 9 years for this!
6th BM - I can basically talk to her about almost anything, we're pretty good friends, I think seems like better friends than my 2nd MOH - but I think in a way I can live without her since at certain events she doesn't show up like my birthdays or other occasions - I mean she tries to stop by earlier.
HELP!
My issues are:
1) MOHs - should I keep them on the list? 2) Which of the BMs should I keep?
I honestly don't think I can afford all 8 - and I heard there will be a lot more issues with a bigger party. Any advice would be great! Thanks in advance!
weirdo168
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Re: HELP - Bridal Party HELP! (LONG) but please help...
Posted by springsandra
Don't forget makeup, hair, etc... and including them in everything from here to eternity.
I know some of these people have been your friends for years and years, but it sounds like you feel obligated to ask certain people to be in your bridal party because of the length of time you've known each other. There's no such thing as 'obligation' when it comes to your wedding party. You have to do what feels comfortable to you.
I didn't have a traditional BP because we wanted to keep things small. I also didn't have your normal wedding shower because my mom was too sick to plan anything for me so we had a ladies lunch instead of a surprise shower that I organized. I only had two girls -- my MOH and SIL as my BM. It was so much simpler that way.
I agree with the other poster that you shouldn't be asking your fiance's best man's gf just because. I'd nix her from the start.
Why not consider just having the two girls you're considering for MOH and your sister? Then you can explain to all those other people that you really wanted to keep things small.
Is your FH having a large groom's party? You could consider that as well.
Good luck with your planning, and don't feel the need to make any sort of grand announcement too quickly. Take your time and enjoy it! You've got tons of time to plan. We ordered our dresses in February for our July wedding. No need to rush.
Thanks for your insight and advice - my FH only has 2 BM & 2 GM. I guess the reasoning behind me wanting to announce who my bridal party soon is that I want my girls' insight and help on things - it feels like when I speak to them that I found the dress and did all this stuff already - like I really dont need them.
