HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

JGOT79 Posted: Dec 07, 2007 01:19 PM

HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

my bridesmaid that got engaged in october (ive been engaged since january and set the date then also) just told me that she may be having ehr wedding the week before mine. I am so annoyed and disappointed in that.. we have mutual guests, and this can get sticky now with showers and bachelorettes...why are people so sucky sometimes? what should I do? i told her how i felt and she reamed me out over email..said me and my fiancee were being ridiculous and she could not revolve her own dream wedding around our plans and appointments... OUCH

2007 Crescent Bride Posted: Dec 07, 2007 01:22 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

I don't know what to say to that. It's a pretty ****** thing to do but is it worth ruining a frienship.

bluegreen08 Posted: Dec 07, 2007 01:24 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

is that date important to her for some reason? it does seem weird to pick a date so close to your wedding, but if it's an anniversary or the only time they can get married i can see why she might want to or need to. If it's just any old date to her, it's kind of obnoxious and she might just be jealous. :(

1 week before is crazy though! it will be very hectic...

FM me if you want to vent, our close friends (one of our groomsmen) got engaged shortly after we set our date, and are getting married 2 weeks before us. They wanted to get married in June, but their church was booked except for Aug 2nd. We're not mad, as long as they're back from their honeymoon in time to come to our wedding (which they promised they will be).

Once you get over the initial 'I was engaged first, I should get married first!' and 'this is MY time!' which is totally irrational but I admit did cross my mind for a second it can be lots of fun planning with a friend on the same timeline as you. Plus, you can use her wedding as a 'trial run' to see what you want to change about yours hehe

hugs

LegoBride Posted: Dec 07, 2007 01:24 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

that's just plan sh***y - I can't stand people like that. She is probably jealous knowing your wedding is going to be better than hers

stonepondbabe Posted: Dec 07, 2007 01:29 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

Thats really unbelieveable, and it sems like it is VERY quick to plan a wedding. Maybe she has other reasons in her head, (preggo or has been been with him longer?) or got a crazy deal......

Still, I would also think she wouldn't want to do it so close to yours either. And she agreed to be your bridesmaid, how will that go now? Can you even discuss that with her?

It definately *****, but will work out in the long run! I had a friend have her wedding the week after ours, and I must say even though it was 12 hours away from ours and most travelled already to come to ours, all our mutual guests went to both.

MnM52607 Posted: Dec 07, 2007 01:30 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

DH's Best Man got married 3 weeks before us. I felt bad for our guests but there was nothing I could do. The boys wound up having a joint bachelor party so that worked out for all their friends. We wound up having similar ideas at the wedding and even gave out the same exact favor. That upset me so much. But they can't take away the fact that you are marrying the man of your dreams. Enjoy your planning and the wedding.

bluegreen08 Posted: Dec 07, 2007 01:36 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

Posted by MnM52607

DH's Best Man got married 3 weeks before us. I felt bad for our guests but there was nothing I could do. The boys wound up having a joint bachelor party so that worked out for all their friends. We wound up having similar ideas at the wedding and even gave out the same exact favor. That upset me so much. But they can't take away the fact that you are marrying the man of your dreams. Enjoy your planning and the wedding.

That *****.

I wonder if FH and his friend will have a joint bachelor party... maybe they will all go to vegas.

I'm hoping our wedding doesn't overlap with our friends too much -- theirs is OOT and there will be some overlap in friends but our guest lists will be substantially different. Also, while I'm sure their wedding will be very nice, nothing compares to a NY wedding!

missexcited Posted: Dec 07, 2007 01:42 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

That's messed up. Is she on this site too? If she is, she should feel like crap reading these

lkdrnw Posted: Dec 07, 2007 01:44 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

That is really not nice of her---and does she think that she can get everything together by that time? From the date you have as your wedding, she has 3 months for everything to fall into place---I am not sure if that will happen

1nicetouch Posted: Dec 07, 2007 01:47 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

I dont think shes a good friend she might be jealous of you. When you start planning a wedding you learn who your real friends are and she's pretty ****** up if you ask me.

korndoggie Posted: Dec 07, 2007 01:54 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

I am getting married 2 weeks before one of my bridesmaids. She had her RH booked first. I technically got engaged (i.e. had the ring) first. I didn't choose to get married 2 weeks before her because I wanted to be married first, I chose to get married 2 weeks before her for money reasons. I am getting married at the end of March because it's spring without the prices going up for being a 'peak' time. Maybe that's what it is for your friend. Maybe the place she wanted only had this date with the price she wanted. I would hope that if you chose her as your bridesmaid she wants the best for you and that she is not getting married before you just to say she was married before you.

Personally I think she should have gone with 2 weeks. Only 1 week means shorter honeymoon!!

As far as I know, me getting married 2 weeks before her has not caused and issues with my bridesmaid, except that she doesn't want me to get strap marks when I lay out in the sun on my honeymoon!!

iwannabmrsD Posted: Dec 07, 2007 02:05 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

Posted by missexcited

That's messed up. Is she on this site too? If she is, she should feel like crap reading these

that's funny..

hey take solacve in this..

her wedding is going to be a stressful mess on her as she tries to do in 4 months, what u did in a year!

skinny237 Posted: Dec 07, 2007 02:11 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

WOW, that really s u c k s.

I really don't understand why she did it 1 week before and not 2 weeks (at least). Is she still going to be one of your BM's?

longislandlibrarian Posted: Dec 07, 2007 02:24 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

How is she planning on pulling off a wedding within 3 months? and to do it a weekb efore yours when yours was planned for a year? it's kinda sounds like she just wants to be MARRIEDFIRST?

JoesFutureWife Posted: Dec 07, 2007 02:56 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

That is ridiculous....there are 364 other days in a year besides your wedding day. Why cant they pick a different date????? I had something similar happen except it wasnt one of my bridesmaids. I was engaged 9 months before my friend and set my date. My friend decided to plan her wedding the night before mine and expected me to be a bridesmaid. Needless to say we arent speaking!!! I dont get people and why they have to ignore common sense!!

bemyyoko Posted: Dec 07, 2007 03:25 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

Posted by longislandlibrarian

How is she planning on pulling off a wedding within 3 months? and to do it a weekb efore yours when yours was planned for a year? it's kinda sounds like she just wants to be MARRIEDFIRST?

i know several people who have had wonderful NY weddings planned in less than 4 months. it's definitely doable.

I hate to say it... but part of me agrees with your BM...
as brides we like to think of this as 'OUR TIME' but we don't 'own' any date at all... let alone an entire week/month/ year...

at least she's not getting married the same day or the day before you.

she shouldn't have to sacrifice her dreams or put them off a year just because you booked your hall first.

this is not a race or a competition.

i understand why you're upset, but please, don't let it ruin your friendship.

JGOT79 Posted: Dec 07, 2007 04:14 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

Thanks for all the insight everyone...at least I know I am not unusual for feeling the way I do.. I guess 'common sense' is not obvious for many..I(if tables were turned I would never do the same, but thats just me).
Thanks again ladies!

zoe282 Posted: Dec 07, 2007 04:26 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

I don't think you should let it ruin your friendship either. You picked the date that you wanted for your wedding, so why shouldn't she have the same opportunity? It ***** and its miserable to have them so close but she deserves her dream date just like you did...when you picked yours there could of been family, or friends of your freinds that had their wedding and it might be inconvinient for them...but you picked the date you wanted cause you wanted it....

Try not to be too mad...look at it from her point of view.

JGOT79 Posted: Dec 07, 2007 04:48 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

definitely dont want it to ruin the friendship...but as a bridesmaid it just stings a bit more, ya know?
whatever, whats done is done.. thanks for all the insight though

ckleinismine Posted: Dec 07, 2007 07:18 PM

Re: HELP--BRIDESMAID BEING A B**TCH

I would be furious if I found out someone close to me was getting married a week after me or even a month. That is so wrong because then showers and other wedding parties conflict. Im so sorry