Help ... confused about an invitation I got - UPDATED!

Original post by AugustFeather

Mar 29, 2011 05:40 PM

So, I just got an invite from a very close friend of mine for her wedding. Her and I have talked extensively about wedding planning etc.

My question/concern/problem is... the invitation was only addressed to me. FH's name was not on there or +guest.. I AM ENGAGED, so I am really confused as to wether i can RSVP for 2 or not?!!! Ahhh this is sooooo awkward and weird!! I don't know if I should ask etc.?? If I were not engaged I can understand not extending a +guest... but this is so odd to me!!! Should I ask her or just write # of guests 2??? or go solo?

ETA: I spoke with her today and asked if I can bring FH and she said of course and that he is on the list! I am not sure why she didn't address it that way, but I feel MUCH better now that it was cleared up

Im getting Married Posted: Mar 29, 2011 07:21 PM

Re: Help ... confused about an invitation I got

Is there a way to ask one of the other girls you know (who are engaged or married)?

I would never add a person to the invite but that is me. If she was close I would casually ask her.

MarryingMyBFF1110 Posted: Mar 29, 2011 08:25 PM

Re: Help ... confused about an invitation I got

Posted by Im getting Married

Is there a way to ask one of the other girls you know (who are engaged or married)?

I would never add a person to the invite but that is me. If she was close I would casually ask her.

THIS THIS THIS

gmo4462 Posted: Mar 29, 2011 08:41 PM

Re: Help ... confused about an invitation I got

Posted by jgold910

Posted by Melissa1012

Posted by BlushandBashful

Posted by evita2781

wow that's kind of weird. but if she's a really close friend, why not just ask her?

ITA. I'd really hope a close friend wouldn't cut your SO.

I totally agree. At this point in my life if one of my good friends invited me to her wedding without FH I would be extremely offended. We are engaged-- why would we go to weddings without eachother. In my personal opinion it is proper etiquite to invite the persons significant other if they are in a serious relationship. I would never do this to a person, no matter how I had to cut my costs.

Sorry!

ITA - if it were my FH tho - he wouldn't care - he'd be like go - it'll save us money! I would def be offended tho....but if you are close then definitely ask er in a way that wouldn't hurt her feelings.....remind her that you know it's a touchy subject and assure her that you understand....

LOL my FH would say the same thing!!

dCa51899 Posted: Mar 29, 2011 09:08 PM

Re: Help ... confused about an invitation I got

Posted by adelya21

i would honestly ask because a lot of people really dont know the proper wedding etiquette. I have received a wedding invitation about 7 months ago which was just addressed to me and when asked if I could bring FH I was told of course i could bring FH and that the the bride assumed it was implied lol. I feel like us girls on liw know way more about proper wedding etiquette than do a lot of 'outside' people. I honestly dont think it hurts to ask. Just ask her in a respectful way and see what she says.
Posted by AugustFeather

Wow.. I really didn't think people leave off spouses or spouses to be. I am not inviting some people with guests but that is because they are not in relationships. She never mentioned guest lists being any issue or anything like that and we seriously talk about wedding stuff almost daily!!! I am kinda bummed and it feels very awkward t me

ita, i would DEF ask her...she might just not know how to address the invite since its not as easy as 'mr & mrs xxx'

Tomsbride Posted: Mar 29, 2011 09:18 PM

Re: Help ... confused about an invitation I got

Posted by AugustFeather

Wow.. I really didn't think people leave off spouses or spouses to be. I am not inviting some people with guests but that is because they are not in relationships. She never mentioned guest lists being any issue or anything like that and we seriously talk about wedding stuff almost daily!!! I am kinda bummed and it feels very awkward t me

I didn't think people did this either

dpanzarino Posted: Mar 29, 2011 09:21 PM

Re: Help ... confused about an invitation I got

Posted by Tomsbride

Posted by AugustFeather

Wow.. I really didn't think people leave off spouses or spouses to be. I am not inviting some people with guests but that is because they are not in relationships. She never mentioned guest lists being any issue or anything like that and we seriously talk about wedding stuff almost daily!!! I am kinda bummed and it feels very awkward t me

I didn't think people did this either

I personally think that's really weird. I would never invite someone without their spouse. I also extended +guest to many of my single friends. I think it's a little rude to not let someone who is over 21 decide if they can bring a date or not.

A few years ago, I got an invite to a wedding with just my name on it. I called up my friends and asked if I could bring my BF - now fiance. I was 30 years old for God's sake!!!!! If I'm dating someone, I should be allowed to bring them!!!

dpanzarino Posted: Mar 29, 2011 09:24 PM

Re: Help ... confused about an invitation I got

Posted by IrishAli

I would ask

We did not invite every guest with a guest, but those in relationships/engaged/married were invited with their significant other!

If she is close, ask. If he is not invited...I might not go, to be honest

I wouldn't go - I don't think I could have fun at a wedding w/o my FH. It's just weird in my opinion. Def ask!!!

TheFutureMrs2011 Posted: Mar 29, 2011 09:55 PM

.

justnicethings Posted: Mar 29, 2011 10:16 PM

Re: Help ... confused about an invitation I got

I would be offended, and probably not end up going. You should ask if you're ok with doing that.

LKatz1029 Posted: Mar 29, 2011 10:22 PM

Re: Help ... confused about an invitation I got

u def need to have someone ask if u feel awkward... I feel like it must be a mistake

AugustFeather Posted: Mar 29, 2011 10:50 PM

Re: Help ... confused about an invitation I got

Thanks girls.. I am going to take everyone's advice and just ask tomorrow. I feel like this has to be a mistake... its just too weird!!

jgold910 Posted: Mar 29, 2011 11:57 PM

Re: Help ... confused about an invitation I got

Posted by gmo4462

Posted by jgold910

Posted by Melissa1012

Posted by BlushandBashful

Posted by evita2781

wow that's kind of weird. but if she's a really close friend, why not just ask her?

ITA. I'd really hope a close friend wouldn't cut your SO.

I totally agree. At this point in my life if one of my good friends invited me to her wedding without FH I would be extremely offended. We are engaged-- why would we go to weddings without eachother. In my personal opinion it is proper etiquite to invite the persons significant other if they are in a serious relationship. I would never do this to a person, no matter how I had to cut my costs.

Sorry!

ITA - if it were my FH tho - he wouldn't care - he'd be like go - it'll save us money! I would def be offended tho....but if you are close then definitely ask er in a way that wouldn't hurt her feelings.....remind her that you know it's a touchy subject and assure her that you understand....

LOL my FH would say the same thing!!

Right?! FH is clueless - I heart him LOLOL

Tromsugar2b Posted: Mar 30, 2011 12:00 AM

Re: Help ... confused about an invitation I got

seems pretty crazy if she is a close friend and you talk about how you're both engaged...that would be so rude to not invite you with FH...let us know what happens i am soo intrigued!

JLWSJC Posted: Mar 30, 2011 12:07 AM

Re: Help ... confused about an invitation I got

Posted by leesah85

Posted by WeezyGirl2354

You go solo - i dont think she left off FH by accident.

We didnt invite people who are married with their husband b/c we had to cut the list some place. Mostly work people from FH's school.

Everyone has a different POV on it but do not write in FH in your response.

I'm dealing with a situation like that now and it makes it super awkward for the bride.

ITA with this. She probably felt the need to cut corners somewhere, and unfortunately your FH got cut ugh so awkward!

If it was a coworker or someone who was going with a group of people that the couple knows from someplace specific, then I get not inviting spouses... but a close friend? That's weird not to let them bring their fiance/husband.

But, I wouldn't write in a guest on the RSVP. I think the best thing to do is ask politely or just RSVP for yourself and go alone.

Is this someone who has met/knows FH?

jenhef Posted: Mar 30, 2011 11:54 AM

Re: Help ... confused about an invitation I got

omg I cannot believe people didnt invite spouses ... that to me is sooo awkward and not right... I wouldnt freakin go if I didn't get to bring my FH.. I think it's rude

It's one thing to not invite someone's bf (although I don't agree with that either) but a FH!! wow

chris1082 Posted: Mar 30, 2011 12:05 PM

Re: Help ... confused about an invitation I got

Posted by dpanzarino

Posted by Tomsbride

Posted by AugustFeather

Wow.. I really didn't think people leave off spouses or spouses to be. I am not inviting some people with guests but that is because they are not in relationships. She never mentioned guest lists being any issue or anything like that and we seriously talk about wedding stuff almost daily!!! I am kinda bummed and it feels very awkward t me

I didn't think people did this either

I personally think that's really weird. I would never invite someone without their spouse. I also extended +guest to many of my single friends. I think it's a little rude to not let someone who is over 21 decide if they can bring a date or not.

A few years ago, I got an invite to a wedding with just my name on it. I called up my friends and asked if I could bring my BF - now fiance. I was 30 years old for God's sake!!!!! If I'm dating someone, I should be allowed to bring them!!!

ITA with this. Is someone is over a certain age I personally think they should be invited with a guest no matter what....JMO!

HSsweethearts Posted: Mar 30, 2011 12:13 PM

Re: Help ... confused about an invitation I got

Totally awkward. I can understand limited +1s, but if someone is married or engaged, their SO should be invited without question.

I would definitely ask.