Help!!! Did anyone else experience problems with a friend that was upset because they weren't asked to be in the bridal

My wedding is 56 days away and this morning one of my BMs told me that another close friend of ours was hurt all this time because I never asked her to be in the BP. This is a very good friend that was very supportive when my father passed away and we've been friends since undergrad. I didn't originally ask her for two reasons.

1)It was important to FH (and therefore me) that his two sisters were in the wedding and I did not want a large bridal party. (I already had two MOHs, another BM, two cousins that I grew up with PLUS the two FH sisters.) I already thought that was bigger than I wanted so I drew the line didn't ask her.

2)Another one of our friends got engaged a week after me and asked her to be a BM. This helped to confirm my decision not to ask her. Our weddings are not far apart and also thought it may pose a financial burden.

THE KICKER IS THIS: One of FH sisters ended up not being able tp participate and one of the cousins was pregnant and thought it best to not participate too. When this happend, I thought of asking her then, but I didn't want her to feel that she was second string and immediately dismissed the idea.

Long story short, I spoke to her tonight and explained the whole thing. We are great now but I wish there was something that I could do to include her. Do you know that she said she would have gladly replaced one of the two that dropped out had I asked her and explained. DARN!!!!!! Now what do I do to include her? I love her and would really like her to play a role in this experience but is it too late. The girls dresses will be in next week and I already have the girls that dropped out as BM serving as ceremony readers. PLEASE LADIES, ANY SUGGESTIONS AT ALL??? Or, should I just forget it and let go?
Although we are fine now, the whole thing has made really feel very bad .

Editted to say: Sorry So Long!

Re: Help!!! Did anyone else experience problems with a friend that was upset because they weren't asked to be in the bridal

I had a pretty similar situation. It was also important for FH to have his two sisters in the bridal party, I have a sister as well (moh) and didn't want a huge BP. So two of my friends who I've known since I was about 3 could not be in it. They were upset and told me so. I explained the situation, that I wanted them to be part of it but b/c of the whole family thing, it wasn't going to be possible. Also, they live out of state which makes it more difficult, too.

We're not having any readers, so I was thinking of having one of them hand out the rice/bubbles or whatever. Or something else. I would appreciate suggestions, too!

Re: Help!!! Did anyone else experience problems with a friend that was upset because they weren't asked to be in the bridal

Have her do a reading, have her hand out programs, have her make sure everything is running smoothly on your day, sort of like a coordinator.

Re: Help!!! Did anyone else experience problems with a friend that was upset because they weren't asked to be in the bridal

I agree, let her be a Hostess, meet and greet, etc. . . and do a reading

Re: Help!!! Did anyone else experience problems with a friend that was upset because they weren't asked to be in the bridal

I totally agree with Jennbaby. You can make her feel like she is a special part of your day without her officially being in the bridal party. From what I read it seems like she is a very good friend. I am having my best friend make a speech on my behalf since she has known me forever although she is not in my bridal party.


Karen

Re: Help!!! Did anyone else experience problems with a friend that was upset because they weren't asked to be in the bridal

I had a similar case. Not so much a problem but a good friend asked if she was in it and she wasn't. I too had my reasons. You had your reasons and she has to accept them but a reading sounds like a great idea. At least she'll feel like she had something to do with the wedding itself.

Re: Help!!! Did anyone else experience problems with a friend that was upset because they weren't asked to be in the bridal

could you still make her a bm? I know you said it is too late--but they could rush dresses...

Re: Help!!! Did anyone else experience problems with a friend that was upset because they weren't asked to be in the bridal

Definitely have her do a reading!!!!!!

Good Luck!!!

Re: Help!!! Did anyone else experience problems with a friend that was upset because they weren't asked to be in the bridal

I only had 1 MOH no Bm's & I know I had a least one friend that was sort of disappointed. She helped me in so many ways before the wedding putting things together & stuff, she didn't didn't have a big financial burdon of buying BM stuff. Plus she was able to be a real guest. She also did some 'coordinating' on the day of. She went around & checked the way everything was set up & stuff. I think you should just explain the situation to her & maybe ask her to help with a reading.

By the way how are your plans coming? You're getting so close!!!!

Re: Help!!! Did anyone else experience problems with a friend that was upset because they weren't asked to be in the bridal

I would ask her to do a reading. This will help her feel included.

Re: Help!!! Did anyone else experience problems with a friend that was upset because they weren't asked to be in the bridal

This is just an idea - there will be guests who will be bringing gifts and cards full of money to your wedding. Can your friend be in charge of making sure you get the gifts safely? Or hold the cards that could be full of money? Like I said before, it's just an idea.

Re: Help!!! Did anyone else experience problems with a friend that was upset because they weren't asked to be in the bridal

I had a friend who was upset. I was considering askeing her anyway, we discussed and I asked her. She still has not let me know her answer.

Re: Help!!! Did anyone else experience problems with a friend that was upset because they weren't asked to be in the bridal

I know how you feel. I had a friend yell at me and lecture me about our friendship and how I asked someone over her to be in the BP.

What it came down to is its my wedding and i am not compromising for anyone. Its my day. Feelings are going to get hurt, but its my special day.

Re: Help!!! Did anyone else experience problems with a friend that was upset because they weren't asked to be in the bridal

Is there any way at all the dress can be rushed and she can still be a BM? If the readings are taken by the other 2 BMs who dropped out, then what about asking her to bring up the hosts and/or wine?