Help! FMIL has NO Etiquette!!

OK so my invites are going to go out next week. So I email the final guest list to my mom and FMIL so they could triple check the addresses before I do the envelopes. So I get an email back from FMIL – asking to remove like 6 people. Now normally that would be fine since she invited more people than anyone else. BUT we already send STD’s AND my shower invites. So now she’s technically cutting people that have received Save-the-Dates AND are invited to my shower – and she’s WELL AWARE of this. I have sent her the guest list SO many times and she left these people on the list until yesterday!!
So what do I do?? Do I just shut up and follow her lead considering they are all people that I don’t think me and FH have ever met? Or do I just invite them so that we don’t look terrible? I know part of the reason she is “uninviting” these people is cause FH’s little sisters bat mitzvah is this weekend and I don’t think she ever got responses back from the people she wants to cut. So since they were rude enough not to respond should I be rude as well?? I know two wrongs don’t make a right but I really think I’m just going to have to be rude to these people that I don’t know since ultimately they will be take it out on her and not FH and I…

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Posted by ammy1403

Can you wait after this wknd? See if they show anyway even though they didn't rsvp.

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I can def wait to print the envelopes. But I am SURE they are not coming since they are from California.

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Posted by ammy1403

Can you wait after this wknd? See if they show anyway even though they didn't rsvp.

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this was going to be my suggestion...GL!

Tell FMIL the truth - that you cannot uninvite people once they have received a STD and a shower invite. That is just not done !

As you posted, they probably will not come since they are in California, but I would send the invite anyway.

Can't respond to rudeness with more rudeness. It just seems so childish........

P.S. Why didn't FMIL call these people regarding the bat mitzvah ? Instead of fuming about the RSVP not being returned, all she had to do is make a phone call.

you should defintiely still send them invites. If they received STD'S and BRIDAL SHOWER INVITES then they must be invited to the wedding. That would be quite rude not to send them and you are pretty positive they won't come anyway so I would send them. I would make sure you tell your FMIL that it is proper etiquette to send them invites if they received the other things and that you don't want to look rude. (because that is what would happen, it would fall on you not her) JMO Good luck!!

Sorry, they're invited to the shower and already got a STD... you have to send them an invite to the wedding.

Remember, your FMIL is not the one that will look bad, YOU and your FH will look bad if you don't send them.

Honestly, you're sending out the invites, do you even have to tell your FMIL that you sent them the invites? I'd send them regardless.

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Posted by Nina_m74

I would send them an invite, if they already got a STD and shower invite. It doesn't look like they will come anyway and I think it would look really rude to 'uninvite' them at this point.

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I totally agree.

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Posted by MrsQ-in2007

Sorry, they're invited to the shower and already got a STD... you have to send them an invite to the wedding.

Remember, your FMIL is not the one that will look bad, YOU and your FH will look bad if you don't send them.

Honestly, you're sending out the invites, do you even have to tell your FMIL that you sent them the invites? I'd send them regardless.

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i was thinking of just sending them anyway..but what if they do decide to come??

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Posted by FlowerBride

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Posted by MrsQ-in2007

Sorry, they're invited to the shower and already got a STD... you have to send them an invite to the wedding.

Remember, your FMIL is not the one that will look bad, YOU and your FH will look bad if you don't send them.

Honestly, you're sending out the invites, do you even have to tell your FMIL that you sent them the invites? I'd send them regardless.

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i was thinking of just sending them anyway..but what if they do decide to come??

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You get a gift and FMIL will just have to deal with it.

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Posted by SusiBtoM

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Posted by FlowerBride

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Posted by MrsQ-in2007

Sorry, they're invited to the shower and already got a STD... you have to send them an invite to the wedding.

Remember, your FMIL is not the one that will look bad, YOU and your FH will look bad if you don't send them.

Honestly, you're sending out the invites, do you even have to tell your FMIL that you sent them the invites? I'd send them regardless.

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i was thinking of just sending them anyway..but what if they do decide to come??

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You get a gift and FMIL will just have to deal with it.

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great answer

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Posted by SusiBtoM

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Posted by FlowerBride

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Posted by MrsQ-in2007

Sorry, they're invited to the shower and already got a STD... you have to send them an invite to the wedding.

Remember, your FMIL is not the one that will look bad, YOU and your FH will look bad if you don't send them.

Honestly, you're sending out the invites, do you even have to tell your FMIL that you sent them the invites? I'd send them regardless.

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i was thinking of just sending them anyway..but what if they do decide to come??

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You get a gift and FMIL will just have to deal with it.

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Exactly!