Help in honoring FH's dad who passed

jennbaby Posted: Feb 05, 2003 08:07 AM

Help in honoring FH's dad who passed

I need help in all the different ways to honor someone who passed, in the church and/or reception hall.

My FH's dad passed away when he was a young boy.
In all my wedding planning, I have never given this thought, and I have just been starting to. I really want to include his dad.
John never mentioned it but I'd like to present him with a few ideas. I know he'd really like this.
Thanks Ladies.

LizD Posted: Feb 05, 2003 08:13 AM

Re: Help in honoring FH's dad who passed

Both my parents had passed a few years ago. I went back and forth on things to do at the wedding, from readings to poems to memorial candles, to a mention in the program. After speaking with the priest several times about it, we decided against all of those things. He said that it can bring back sad memories and that the wedding should be a haopy day. What we did is had their names mentioned during the ceremony to say a special prayer for**. Also, my sister made me a beautiful blue pouch that had my mom's cameo, my dad's nypd lt badge, and a locket with both of thier pictures in it. It was such a beautiful thought, and I got to have them with me all day. We also had pictures of both our parents at their weddings on our place card table, then had them moved in and put on the card cage table inside the reception room. Maybe you can speak to his mom and see if there is a special item of his fathers that he can wear on the wedding day (cufflink's, tie tac, etc)

ChristineC68 Posted: Feb 05, 2003 08:13 AM

Re: Help in honoring FH's dad who passed

We dedicated our program to my father and DH's mother and as a favor we made a donation to the american cancer society in their honor. I have also read where pictures are displayed somewhere at the reception site. A special song can be played.

jenny2penny Posted: Feb 05, 2003 08:14 AM

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kittyke Posted: Feb 05, 2003 08:17 AM

Re: Help in honoring FH's dad who passed

I think a special reading would be touching or even just a few words spoken about him.

itsbouttime Posted: Feb 05, 2003 09:01 AM

Re: Help in honoring FH's dad who passed

my grandfather recently passed who was more then just a grandfather to us. i've decided to get a memory candle and have 'In Loving Memory w/ his name and the date' engraved on it. instead of lighting this at the ceremony we're going to light it at the reception and keep it lit the entire reception on our table. not making a huge production at the reception lighting it, when we first sit down after our dance, we'll light it. i wanted something that i could have their all day in respect to him. it is a huge deal to me that he isn't going to be at my wedding, physically. also, we'll probably have our priest mention his name at the ceremony asking everyone to say a prayer for him.

sept20yay! Posted: Feb 05, 2003 09:04 AM

Re: Help in honoring FH's dad who passed

Jenn- Couple of idea... Maybe on the programs- a few words- and also, in his pocket lapel at the altar he can place something of his fathers- like a piece of jewelery. That way he is close to his heart.

jennbaby Posted: Feb 05, 2003 09:53 AM

Re: Help in honoring FH's dad who passed

Thanks

Fletch Posted: Feb 05, 2003 10:49 AM

Re: Help in honoring FH's dad who passed

My FH's father also passed away when he was young and we have talked alot about how we are going to honor him. We are going to mention his name in one of the readings at the church and FH will carry a picture of him in his pocket so that he is with us throughout the day. Also, the priest who is saying our mass knew his dad and that will add a special touch.

sha11209 Posted: Feb 05, 2003 12:37 PM

Re: Help in honoring FH's dad who passed

My DH's dad also passed when he was young and my grandmother passed away 8 months before my wedding. I agree that you shouldn't take the happiness away from your wedding by concentrating on who is not there with you. You will obviously know in your heart that they are not physically there w/you on that day, however, they are with you in their own special way. There should be mention of them during the church in the prayer of the faithful and maybe by lighting a memorial candle. We did that at the beginning of our mass(the candle.) Also, in our program we had a little poem and their names. For me personally, before I left my house, I put a rose on my nana's doorstep(she lived downstairs.) This was all done very disgreetly and personally. (Only myself and my parents and sister knew about it.)
I thought about doing a big memorial but my parents and DH didn't want to make everyone sad.

I hope this is helpful....good luck!

princess99 Posted: Feb 05, 2003 12:43 PM

Re: Help in honoring FH's dad who passed

Both my parents are deceased, and to honor them during the ceromony we are having a very small picture put in my bouquet, so that way they can still'walk' down the aisle with me. The rabbi is going to say a prayer in a separate room right before the ceromony and I will have immediate family in there, and my FH is using my dads tallus.(Prayer shawl) . You can maybe get married in there wedding bands or have a candle lit before the ceromony so it is up there with you, and you and FH/DH know what it is up there for. Maybe you can tie his dads wedding ring into your bouquet also.

balilove Posted: Feb 05, 2003 06:36 PM

Re: Help in honoring FH's dad who passed

My FH's mother passed a few years ago. We are going to have a passage in our wedding program in her memory.

allure Posted: Feb 05, 2003 08:51 PM

Re: Help in honoring FH's dad who passed

We are having a passage also and will light candles at the church&reception

wacky Posted: Feb 05, 2003 09:50 PM

Re: Help in honoring FH's dad who passed

can you dedicate the mass to him, or have his picture with a candle at the reception.

Suz Posted: Feb 05, 2003 10:04 PM

Re: Help in honoring FH's dad who passed

My father passed away when I was young also. We're going to put up pictures in the cocktail hour area and instead of favors we're also giving a donation.

For my sister's wedding, she had pictures on the altar. That was too much for me and I cried hysterically the whole way down the aisle. My aunts lost it too.

RichsBride Posted: Feb 05, 2003 10:06 PM

Re: Help in honoring FH's dad who passed

Jenn,
Rich's Dad & sister & my beloved Grandma & other grandparents & my godfather were all recognizied.
We had a memory candle @ ceremony. A small note listing their names in our program. Then during our reception the memory candle was moved to the mantle behind our sweetheart table where we had pictures of all of them. I needed to have their pictures there, I wasn't sure if anyone would really notice-nor did I care. It's always sad to remember the loss-so it's a personal choice. I also had my Grams pin on my bouquet.
Here's a pic of my Grandfathers siblings looking at the pictures.