Help!! In-law problems!!

So sorry to hear things are starting off on the wrong foot...

Pick a night that everyone is likely to be available. Call each person and invite them to your new home...Let them know that you would like that evening to be the time they spend looking and selecting (this creates a 'deadline' for the parents to commit an order). Have a desert available (or dinner if you can swing it). Be sure to include a reason why it's taken so long to plan this...but don't let them make you feel overly appologetic...perhaps they really didn't know your circumstances. That night, just be a hostess to a little picture-viewing party...not just the sister/daughter-in-law :-)

Elisa & Kate - I feel for your situations and have alot of gratitude that I am marrying into a wonderful family of people that made me feel comfortable right from the beginning. However, I disagree that that when you marry, your husband is your family, not your in-laws. There is alot of truth to the idea that when you marry someone, you marry their family. This does not mean that you chose them any more than you chose your own family but if you love this man, then these people will be in your life for a very long time. I feel that when there are problems it is also unfair for your husbands to not play a part in trying to make peace. They are the link between you and his family and it is crucial that he play an active role and make it known to his parents/siblings that he will not tolerate any kind of abuse or game playing with you his new wife. Of course, it's not always easy for your man to do this (depending on what role he has historically played in the family) but it is OK for you to ask for what you need from him so you don't feel like it's just 'you against them'. Like I said, I do believe that they are now part of your family, but between you and your husband, your foremost loyalties should lie with each other in family matters.
We do sometimes have to take the high road in situations that we are thrust into and did not choose. We simply have to try to be the better person and your willingness to try to work through this stuff is to be commended - it sure isnt easy but sometimes the only comfort is the fact that you have not allowed yourself to stoop to the level of anyone who clearly has some of their own issues that are unresolved (I mean, why else do people badmouth others?)

I guess we all have our problems. But when I read these postings I guess I realize that I am pretty lucky. Of course no situation is absolutely perfect (they didn't like me at first because I'm older than my husband, but they did accept me after a few months when they realized I was going to be a part of his life), there certainly seems to be bigger problems than I have. I have gone back and forth with loving them and sometimes hating them but I guess that's true with even your own family.
Apparently the night of the wedding as we were leaving the hall my mother in law took my husband aside and said that she was very mad that I did not spend time with her at her table.
The woman did not get up off her seat once -

To each their own. My suggestions were simply on how to not come from a place of anger. It's not about being a doormat or 'hiding behind hubby'. The importance of his involvement is in letting the family know that you are a team and that his loyalties are with his new wife. Many men sit by and don't take a stand against this kind of behavior and that sends it's own message. Some families truly have a problem grasping this concept, especially if it's a crowd of control freaks! None of us deserve to be treated shabbily but the idea that we can control others into apologizing or behaving differently is an exercise in futility. Like all other opinions expressed here, this is my personal view. Whatever works for each of us is a personal thing. Good luck to all.

I have some comments on registering at Macy's in Roosevelt Field, but I'm not sure if that's the particular store you're wondering about. We did have some problems registering there.

To each their own. Best wishes

It obviously hit home because she did apologize to me as well and everything has become water under the bridge.