HELP....Jewish Brides please help

Okay, I am not really religous; however, I am getting married by a cantor and deacon - an interfaith ceremony. We are having a chuplah. I have a tattoo on my left elbow and a strapless gown. As you all know (Jewish Brides) this is forbidden. I feel as though it is very disrespectful to my family, my traditions, and the cantor that I stand underneath the chuplah with such sins. Please help....what should I do??

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

no no no, stop worrying!! we live in modern times. u can have a tattoo when u stand under the chuppah.
if it makes u feel better, u can buy coverup for your tattoo or wear a shawl or something.
i am a cantor and i dont have a problem w/ tattoos or piercings.

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

What were your family's feelings when you got the tattoo? The tattoo is there now, so short of hiring a makeup specialist or wearing a cover up with long sleeves there's probably nothing you can do. Did you know it was against Jewish tradition to do that at the time you got the tattoo? I wouldn't not stand under the chuplah for that reason.

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

I know the tattoo is not aloud in our religion; but of course I wasn't thinking about marriage or dealth when I got it done. Up until this past weekend, I was fine with it....this is my body and who I am..why should I have to hide it? Something hit me, and I realized how disrespectful it was or what I big hypocrite I've become.

I am sure I will get over it....I am not into the makeup covering thing.........I am just extremely confused today

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

Evnme is 100% right, you can stand under the Chuppah with a Tattoo. You won't be the first, and you DEFINITELY won't be the last.

But, just so you know, it's a Chuppah. No L.

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

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Posted by PrincessRose

Evnme is 100% right, you can stand under the Chuppah with a Tattoo. You won't be the first, and you DEFINITELY won't be the last.

But, just so you know, it's a Chuppah. No L.

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And this just shows how religous I am....

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

I thought it was spelled chuppah (I'm not jewish though, fiance is). After I read your post, I thought all this time, I was wrong and that it was chulpah. lol

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

PLENTY of Jewish brides stand under the Chuppah with tattoos. Someone else may know better than I do, but I don't even think it's really a 'sin.' Even the old yarn 'you can;t get buried in a Jewish cemetary with a tattoo' is completely false. If you feel badly about it, wear a shawl or get a tattoo cover up kit. If not, don't worry. I don't think anyone's going to see you as disrespecting them. You're worrying entirely too much!

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

I stood proudly under the chuppah with tattoos. This is how I did it:



To me, out of sight was out of mind. Make up wasn't an option as this one of my tattoos is way too dark and I would have sweat off all the make up. The other tattoos I have were not in places of concern!

There are so many things that we as people, but in our case specifically as Jewish people do everyday that I am sure are against all Torah and Halakah teachings and we never give them a second thought. Some of us eat pork and shellfish. Some of us take the name of the L-rd in vain. Some of us curse. Some of us disrespect our parents. Some of us drive on Saturdays. Some of us even pay retail for diamonds (ok people shoot me for the self-imposed stereotype, you will get over it). To me, some of these, especially that of not honoring the Sabbath (which is probably the biggest one of all) is far worse than selecting a tiny passage from Leviticus that says...:

'You shall not scrape your flesh for a (dead) soul, and tattoos do not put upon you, I am the L-rd'(Leviticus 19:28).

...and choosing that passage to dictate whether or not a person is a righteous Jew who deserves to be married under a Chuppah in front of G-d to the man you love. There are plenty of Jewish men and women who do and have done horrible things and not one of them has a tattoo to speak of. Does this make them more worthy of a relationship with G-d than someone with body art? Hardly. As someone who actually knew what she was getting into when she got her tattoos and the possible ramifications thereof, I would NEVER have denied myself the opportunity to get married under a chuppah. Bottom line, as long as a person has been born to a woman who is Jewish or convert to Judaism, That person is and will always be a Jew in the eyes of G-d. Tattoo or no tattoo - that person is not excommunicated for body art. They may just not dig them too much at the Chabad house in a tank top.

I'll be honest with you. I wanted to very much be one with G-d and start my marriage with a clean slate spiritually. I asked Evnme to direct me towards a Mikveh that would not judge my 'Jewishness' based on my tattoos. She did a great job and I had a positive experience. I had been frightened that I would be shunned. The mikveh lady was so thrilled to see someone who she would consider 'non-religious' interested in this ritual and welcomed me, making me feel so good about my choice.

I would venture to say that all religions are forced to make modifications in order to not lose their followers. MANY of us lived with our husbands (or FH's) before marriage. Many of us were not virgins at the time of marriage. Rabbis and Priests are very smart people. If they want to maintain the loyalty to the faith, they cannot turn people away for something as minor as a tattoo or cohabitation.

Good luck and sorry for my rant.

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

i wouldn't worry about it...all my rabbi keeps telling me is how traditions have changed. Getting married in a strapless dress is definately not an issue, especially if you're not getting married in a temple. i don't know about tatoos, but i'm sure its fine, unless its an orthadox rabbi marrying you which its obviously not. Don't stress. If you're unsure of anything, ask your rabbi.

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

Well said, Leslie!

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

Thank you girls....I do feel much better today!

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

if it really bothers you, I hear that airbrush makeup covers them really well.

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

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Posted by pigs222seal

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Posted by PrincessRose

Evnme is 100% right, you can stand under the Chuppah with a Tattoo. You won't be the first, and you DEFINITELY won't be the last.

But, just so you know, it's a Chuppah. No L.

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And this just shows how religous I am....

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It's OK ...... that's why we're here for each other

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

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Posted by chloeme2

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Posted by pigs222seal

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Posted by PrincessRose

Evnme is 100% right, you can stand under the Chuppah with a Tattoo. You won't be the first, and you DEFINITELY won't be the last.

But, just so you know, it's a Chuppah. No L.

---

And this just shows how religous I am....

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It's OK ...... that's why we're here for each other

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Yes, absolutely. I would've said the exact same thing yesterday had I not gotten rather swamped at work.

Also, Leslie - you're awesome. That was So Well Said.

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

My pleasure. I was just very tired of people telling me where I could and couldnt be buried. I plan on being buried right next to my husband in a Jewish cemetary as I deserve to be.

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

Hey girls. I actually need help in another area of a Jewish Wedding! I need recommendations for a rabbi or cantor who will perform a ceremony for me (jewish) to my fiance (catholic). I am looking for a down to earth, interested in meeting us before hand, will make it personal and special and memorable rabbi or cantor.

Please Help!!!!!

And Happy Passover! Sara

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

There's a whole thread about this but

Rabbi Roger Ross
Robbi Joel S. Goor
Rabbi Alan Stein
Rabbi Block

Re: HELP....Jewish Brides please help

thank you... i can't find the other thread.. i am new on the website.. how do i get to it??