why doesn't my fh want to help me plan this wedding. i was supposed to go look at captain bills today with my mother and sister, but my sisters husband had to use her car to go to school. so i ask fh to take me because he has off from work because of the rain. he tells me no, just make another appointment. i'm really upset, i feel like i want to cry. why doesn't he want to get involved?????? when he does these things, it makes me feel like he doesn't really want to marry me.
Sassyz75
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Re: help me please
Look, maybe your FH isn't the wedding planning type. I looked at all the places with just my mom- and when I decided which place I liked I showed it to him and said, 'this is where we are getting married'.
don't take it like he doesn't want to marry you... i think it's a guy thing
allure
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Posted by Sassyz75
Look, maybe your FH isn't the wedding planning type. I looked at all the places with just my mom- and when I decided which place I liked I showed it to him and said, 'this is where we are getting married'.
don't take it like he doesn't want to marry you... i think it's a guy thing
I agree with Sassy 100%
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: help me please
he loves you. some guys are just like that. maybe he had a headache or just didn't feel like going out in the rain. tell him you're upset and you'd like him to take part in the plans. don't whine and complain or demand. just explain.
Nora101004
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He could have said it nicer. I could go look at as many venders as I wanted. Then I had to pick the top 3 and FH would go with me. I'd talk to him about it though.
OctBride05
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i am not complaining or demanding he come with me, i just thought since he wasn't working he would want to come with me and check it out.
bridget&jimmy
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My fiance is not much into the planning either, but sometimes he comes with me and he loves it when he is there but most of the time he is very laid back and lets me do it and then when I make a decision he comes and checks it out. The only thing he was really into was the reception hall which he lucked out because we only saw two and then decided and the music, and honeymoon was what he was really into the rest he, dosen't really have an opinion on. But if I dont have someone else to go with he will go with me without me even asking because he dose not want me to do things alone. Once time gets closer I realize he is more and more into the planning.
Bridget
btrflygrl
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Why don't you ask him what he would like to be involved with? MY FH wanted to pick the place, the c-pieces, the tuxes and I put him in charge of finding the officiant and making appts w/ photographers, and he was happy with that. I got to do invites and personal flowers on my own. He would give me certain aspects to consider, like he preferred the one card invite not folded, etc. He also wants to pick food, decide on HM, etc.
BMD'sPeanut
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i didn't say you were whining or complaining or demanding. i'm just suggesting that doing those things might not be the best way to go about getting what you want.
OctBride05
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Posted by CIMINOK
i didn't say you were whining or complaining or demanding. i'm just suggesting that doing those things might not be the best way to go about getting what you want.
no, i understand what your saying.
BMD'sPeanut
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hope it all works out. (it will!)
Sage10.03
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I planned my wedding practically ALONE.... Actually, it's funny, b/c when we went into the room where we were having dinner, DH turns to me and says 'So what are we having for dinner' He had NO idea....
Sassy75 is right....It's a total guy thing!
If he didn't want to marry you, he wouldn't have asked!
Good Luck, I know it can be frustrating, but think of all the good things he does and the reasons you love him!
Ericia
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Chrissy,
I would definitely talk to him and ask him what part does he want to take in planning the wedding. IMO, he should help out with something. The wedding that is being planned is not just for you, but for the both of you.
And yes, while it is a 'guy thing' not to be so much involved in the planning process, please keep in mind that planning a wedding 'together,' is the prelude to planning your life together.
Many people have the misconception that the wedding is for the bride, and I have to disagree. A wedding is for both the bride and the groom; it's a celebration in your new beginning.
When a couple work together on a particular project, whether it be painting your first home to planning a wedding, in the process, you learn the understanding of compromise and agreement…you learn to “weather the storm.” At times, it will be rocky (but what isn’t), but in the end, when you see the finished result, the reward is seeing the look on one another’s face and you can say...' you know what... we did this...together.' You are left with a feeling of being able to accomplish anything- TOGETHER.
I would encourage him to help with something, whether he places a phone call to confirm an appointment, to actually showing up to an appointment, etc. Help him see that you need him with you. Also, if he find that he can’t make an appointment with you, he should find a better word / explanation than “No.” No is such a harsh word, especially to a woman who feels like her FH is not supportive.
You guys will be okay, you just have to find a medium; balance is key.
Good luck
- Ericia
OctBride05
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Re: help me please
thank you all for your advice.
i had a talk with him and i told him it was important to me that he was involved. we compromised that when i narrow it down to a couple places that i like, he will come and look at them with me and we'll both make the decision. he is also going to help me with d.j., photo and video when the time comes.
i don't need him to help me with everything, but i feel better that he is going to be involved in a couple things.
ohhh, he is also going to take care of the honeymoon.
LADYLUV69
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It's a man thing. I'm going through the same thing. Once I found a place that I liked, I took him with me to leave the deposit. Of course he loved the places I've picked, so now I do everything w/o him and it works out find. I do live a stress free life.
aliciahelene
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Dont take it personally!!! Really. My fh has not planned anything with this wedding..he helped me pick out teh place, gives me money, etc.but our wedding will be a surprise to him,Ive planned everything! I took it personally at first, but I do think its just a guy thing, my Fh works 65 hours a week, doesnt really feel like checking details to a wedding, hed rather sleep and relax,,I cant blame him.
violet
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I feel your pain. I'm really jealous of girls whose fiances are all into it.
