help - opinions please

rnesenoff Posted: Jan 02, 2011 04:29 PM

help - opinions please

What are your opinions on having this on the invitation:

Black Tie optional

FH and i can't agree at all and both are not budging - i want it put on the invitation and he doesn't want it at all.
I want it because it makes people dress up a little fancier and makes me feel like i am doing everything i can to prevent inappropriate dressed people (ie sluts / not dressed up people)
He thinks its snotty to put on the invites and makes us looks like we are better than our guests.

I need opinions please

Thanks girls

Alannah22 Posted: Jan 02, 2011 04:37 PM

Re: help - opinions please

I will be putting black tie optional on our invites. FH has an uncle that is notorious for dressing inappropriately. I don't think it will hurt if you had it on the invite.

MrsJPH2012 Posted: Jan 02, 2011 04:40 PM

Re: help - opinions please

I read somewhere to always put black tie optional unless you're purposefully having a casual beachy wedding or something.

I've been thinkning a lot about it too bc I'm having a day wedding and didn't want people to think I'm going overboard, but really... its just telling people 'respect me, don't show up in jeans'

rnesenoff Posted: Jan 02, 2011 04:41 PM

Re: help - opinions please

do you know where you read it? so i can show it to FH
anything will help

mara1017 Posted: Jan 02, 2011 04:47 PM

Re: help - opinions please

i think I am going to put black tie optional. I think it is even more important if you have a lot of oot guests because weddings outside long island are nothing like on long island

KristynLeigh Posted: Jan 02, 2011 05:03 PM

Re: help - opinions please

I never even thought of this until right now but I think it is probably a good idea to put it on the invitation. I don't think it sounds snobby at all. A lot of times people are relieved to get an idea of how they are expected to dress when going somewhere.

rnesenoff Posted: Jan 02, 2011 05:33 PM

Re: help - opinions please

FH is still not budging - is it wrong to put black tie optional on my family and none on his?

KristynLeigh Posted: Jan 02, 2011 05:35 PM

Re: help - opinions please

What kind of Invitations are you using? I haven't started that process yet but I think when you order they all say the same thing to get the bulk price, no?

MrsJPH2012 Posted: Jan 02, 2011 05:39 PM

Re: help - opinions please

Posted by rnesenoff

FH is still not budging - is it wrong to put black tie optional on my family and none on his?

haha yes, it'll also be harder to keep track of. Is there a specific reason he doesn't want this? Does he think his family will get offended? I think if you look at a lot of the other girls sample invites on the other boards a lot say black tie

rnesenoff Posted: Jan 02, 2011 05:44 PM

Re: help - opinions please

he does feel like his family will be offended

vickyp0o1215 Posted: Jan 02, 2011 05:55 PM

Re: help - opinions please

If I happened to be someone who was not planning on coming to your wedding very dressed up.. I might take this as my cue to wear whatever I please since you are specifically saying 'optional'

If you are worried about ppl dressing down or inappr i would just say black tie.. chances are people will still not come decked out like u want but u will have a greater chance than if u write optional.. JMO

rnesenoff Posted: Jan 02, 2011 06:01 PM

Re: help - opinions please

i would love it to say black tie!!

another question :

would any of you be offended if you got an invite that said 'Black tie'
I wouldn't but i want to know your opinions and thoughts

FutureMrsGTL Posted: Jan 02, 2011 06:40 PM

Re: help - opinions please

Im definately considering the black tie optional on the invite... I think it makes it clear that everyone should be dressed for the occassion! I've gone to a few weddings that were black tie only... I wasnt offended... I think it looks really nice.

sjr385 Posted: Jan 02, 2011 07:14 PM

.

sjr385 Posted: Jan 02, 2011 07:15 PM

.

Cloudy327 Posted: Jan 02, 2011 07:20 PM

Re: help - opinions please

Posted by mara1017

i think I am going to put black tie optional. I think it is even more important if you have a lot of oot guests because weddings outside long island are nothing like on long island

Definitely agree! I think it is a good idea to write black tie optional because it is nicely telling your guests to dress elegantly. As brides, we are spending a lot of money for our weddings and any small step to make it more perfect for us and our FH's should be taken!

courtneydemarco12 Posted: Jan 02, 2011 07:47 PM

Re: help - opinions please

do whatever makes you happy I will be putting formal attire on my invitations so people know how to dress.

Alannah22 Posted: Jan 02, 2011 07:51 PM

Re: help - opinions please

Posted by rnesenoff

i would love it to say black tie!!

another question :

would any of you be offended if you got an invite that said 'Black tie'
I wouldn't but i want to know your opinions and thoughts

I would not be offended if I received an invite that said black tie. I would understand that the couple would want us to look nice on their big day.

lisak Posted: Jan 03, 2011 03:59 PM

Re: help - opinions please

are you ladies ordering your invitations already?

mara1017 Posted: Jan 03, 2011 04:08 PM

Re: help - opinions please

I have started to look at what is out there. I have requested some samples from some of the places. I am probably going to be using custom made invitations which can take some time.

So no I am not ordering them right now but I am starting to look. This summer is going to be very busy for me (both my FSIL are due within a month of each other) so I suspect that I am not going to get much done during the summer so I have been trying to get some things started at least early.