help - opinions please

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Posted by sjr385

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Posted by MrsJPH2012

I read somewhere to always put black tie optional unless you're purposefully having a casual beachy wedding or something.

I've been thinkning a lot about it too bc I'm having a day wedding and didn't want people to think I'm going overboard, but really... its just telling people 'respect me, don't show up in jeans'

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I disagree -- 'black tie optional' means that you basically want the wedding to be black tie, but you don't want to make people feel obliged to buy tuxes and evening gowns. I decided black tie optional was too much for a day wedding. If BlackTieGuy is around, he'll probably point out that black tie means evening wear (but FH is wearing a tux anyway).

We debated for a while what to put on the invitations about a dress code. I'm not worried about my family... they're all NY'ers. But FH's family is all OOT and we're having a Sunday afternoon wedding. We settled on 'formal attire'.

Then again, day of, I'm sure I'll just want people to show up and have fun. No matter what they're wearing.

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Yeah I could see formal attire being a good middle ground, would FH get offended at that wording? I think it'll still get the point across...

I'm not trying to judge.... but if you are offended by black tie optional.. that makes me feel like it's needed. You don't need to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to have some people show up with jeans, t-shirts, boots, etc.

I am just going by experience... but the people I know who have been offended have been the ones who wear t-shirts, jeans, boots, and just overall casual clothes to weddings.

Again... not meant to offend anybody. It's just from my own experience.

i think black tie optional is fine; def not something to get offended over, you are just saying to dress nice. black tie, also, wouldnt offend me but thats my opinion

You know the sad part is, even if you put this on your invites, youre still going to have people who dont have a clue and come looking tacky/slutty/inappropriate.