Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

Original post by latinanyc

Mar 03, 2010 11:30 PM

My fiance and I along with my parents are paying for the wedding expenses three ways. But when it comes to the honeymoon I always thought the future husband should take care of those expenses. At least that is what I thought was the traditional way. But since we are sharing the cost of the wedding expenses, my fiance assumed I'd be sharing the cost of the honeymoon as well.

On other trips we have taken together I've shared the cost but I feel it really should be his treat for the honeymoon. I also think of it more romantic that way. What do most couples do about their honeymoon expenses?

We have a big European trip planned. It was primarily his idea to go to London, then take the chunnel to Paris. Neither of us have ever been to London. We have both been to Paris before and have wanted to go back. I wanted to go to Spain. So, after Paris we are headed to Barcelona, Madrid and Costa del Sol. The whole trip will be for a period 2 weeks. It's about an $8000 honeymoon not including lunches and dinners as well as any other expenses we may encounter.

I'd like your opinions. I don't know how to stress that he should gift me the honeymoon without making it seem awkward. Am I being selfish or can anyone understand where I'm coming from?

MrsHandsome2Be Posted: Mar 04, 2010 08:56 AM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

Posted by grkbarbie

traditionally speaking, the brides family should be footing the bill for the entire wedding. If you want to go tit for tat, sure. YOU pay for the wedding and im POSITIVE HE wouldnt mind paying for the honeymoon. Im sure he'll even treat you to dessert after dinner.

truuuuuuuuuuuuu

Ivansgirl Posted: Mar 04, 2010 09:13 AM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

My FH paid for the HM and our rings. I am paying for everything else. It all depends

FutureMrsLMS Posted: Mar 29, 2010 01:18 PM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

I come from a traditional spanish family/household so understand that mentality.

FH is paying for our honeymoon as well and neither his family (1/2 portuguese) nor mine think its weird. Since I'm footing the entire wedding, FH's only expenses are the HM and wedding bands.

FH is going to luck out though because we are prob spending $ 5K or less on our HM (1 week all inclusive resort in the Caribbean). Whereas the wedding will cost me more than 15-20K.

SoontobeMrs.Brown Posted: Mar 29, 2010 01:20 PM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

We are both paying :)

CloudNine Posted: Mar 29, 2010 01:20 PM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

we saved for it together

AdriandSteve Posted: Mar 29, 2010 01:21 PM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

I've never heard that it's traditional for FH to pay for the honeymoon.

I understand that you might view it as being more 'romantic' but I'd have to disagree with you. From here on out there really is no more 'your money' or 'his money' on something like this. Small things like clothes, hair, personal things like that are your money and his money. But a large expense (such as a honeymoon) is a joint expense which means you both should be contributing to it.

Jmo

grkbarbie Posted: Mar 29, 2010 01:22 PM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

keep in mind...

how much did your engagement ring cost him??

yea

thought so

how quickly u girls seem to forget that lol

halfbaked Posted: Mar 29, 2010 01:22 PM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

We've both payed jointly for everything. We have a 'what's mine is yours' approach to finances.

MongieToBe Posted: Mar 29, 2010 01:25 PM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

We are both paying for the HM. It's all the same anyway, like the other girls have mentioned. We've been paying for the HM out of our joint account

little j Posted: Mar 29, 2010 01:25 PM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

my thoughts...if the HM is $8k, that doesnt include anything like dinners/tours/train rides/etc etc

do you expect him to pay for these excurscions too? if not, they you are already in a way sharing the cost....so where do you draw the line?

if you really want. have him pay for hotels, and you pay for airfare. have him buy dinner, you buy breakfast....honestly, i think it becomes a little bit crazy to start counting each penny of who gave what

so i say, split it now...and split it later.... the bills will never end. so why start issues now

MongieToBe Posted: Mar 29, 2010 01:26 PM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

Posted by AdriandSteve

I've never heard that it's traditional for FH to pay for the honeymoon.

I understand that you might view it as being more 'romantic' but I'd have to disagree with you. From here on out there really is no more 'your money' or 'his money' on something like this. Small things like clothes, hair, personal things like that are your money and his money. But a large expense (such as a honeymoon) is a joint expense which means you both should be contributing to it.

Jmo

ITA

little j Posted: Mar 29, 2010 01:26 PM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

Posted by grkbarbie

keep in mind...

how much did your engagement ring cost him??

yea

thought so

how quickly u girls seem to forget that lol

FutureMrsLMS Posted: Mar 29, 2010 01:29 PM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

FH paid zero for my e-ring since it was an heirloom..(was his grandmother's e-ring, then went to his mom's, now to me)..

If the and can split the cost of the HM, then that's groovy. But some familiies (like mine) are very old-fashioned and sort of have *that* expectations of who pays for the HMs..FH's parents are the same way, so for us it just worked out that way..

christine2010 Posted: Mar 29, 2010 01:32 PM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

Posted by little j

Posted by grkbarbie

keep in mind...

how much did your engagement ring cost him??

yea

thought so

how quickly u girls seem to forget that lol

ITA.
This is the reason why our 'wedding expenses' are split the way they are.

NanandEric08 Posted: Mar 29, 2010 01:34 PM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

We are both paying for the honeymoon as well as splitting everything else for the wedding. I know FH couldn't afford it on his own being that we are both strapped with the wedding funds and it's a vacation we plan to share and spend together so it was something we just threw into the wedding budget that we will be splitting. HTH!

grkbarbie Posted: Mar 29, 2010 01:38 PM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

i wonder if the OP has a place to live? maybe fh should buy her a house,too

latinaj Posted: Mar 29, 2010 01:40 PM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

Posted by Lil OC

My parents are paying for the RH for us (traditional). But FH and I are splitting everything else, including the HM.

same

Lucky2010 Posted: Mar 29, 2010 01:41 PM

Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?

We splitting the costs of the wedding, honeymoon included. I'm not very traditional, but I haven't heard of the husband giving the honeymoon as a gift. Besides, it's something you're enjoying together as husband and wife. We're setting up a honeymoon registry to help us with some of the expenses. But I worked out our wedding budget to include the cost of the honeymoon because it has to be paid off before we get married and receive wedding gifts. I think if $8k is too much for you to share the burden of then maybe you should reconsider some aspects of your honeymoon.