Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
latinanyc
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Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
My fiance and I along with my parents are paying for the wedding expenses three ways. But when it comes to the honeymoon I always thought the future husband should take care of those expenses. At least that is what I thought was the traditional way. But since we are sharing the cost of the wedding expenses, my fiance assumed I'd be sharing the cost of the honeymoon as well.
On other trips we have taken together I've shared the cost but I feel it really should be his treat for the honeymoon. I also think of it more romantic that way. What do most couples do about their honeymoon expenses?
We have a big European trip planned. It was primarily his idea to go to London, then take the chunnel to Paris. Neither of us have ever been to London. We have both been to Paris before and have wanted to go back. I wanted to go to Spain. So, after Paris we are headed to Barcelona, Madrid and Costa del Sol. The whole trip will be for a period 2 weeks. It's about an $8000 honeymoon not including lunches and dinners as well as any other expenses we may encounter.
I'd like your opinions. I don't know how to stress that he should gift me the honeymoon without making it seem awkward. Am I being selfish or can anyone understand where I'm coming from?
MrsC2010
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
we are both paying for honeymoon but maybe we are not traditional. We have been together for almost 7 years so a lot of our money is combined. We are paying for our honeymoon out of our joint account.
flibbertigibbet
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
this is 2010. you can be as traditionally minded as you want... but when it comes down to it. even if he pays for, after the honeymoon... it will probably end up being whats yours is his and his is yours anyways. so even if he pays for it, you'll end up helping pay it off.. or he'll just have that much less to contribute to other expenses.
Lil OC
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
My parents are paying for the RH for us (traditional). But FH and I are splitting everything else, including the HM.
jmgoncal
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
I guess FH is paying for the HM insofar as it's billed on his credit card, but at the end of the day what's mine is his and vice versa, so realistically WE are paying for the HM.
GR2010
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
We're paying for everything oursleves and as far as the HM goes who ever has the $$ in their account to pay for it will be the one who foots the bill... In the end it's going to be 'our' money so I'm not too concerned with where it comes from before hand.
BriansWifey
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
Fh and I have joint bank accounts so we paid for the hm together... Plus I think $8000 is a lot so I'm sure he'd appreciate any money towards the trip as well.... Jmo tho
FutureMrsG
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
We paid for ours together...you are getting married you money is his money and vice versa.
grkbarbie
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
traditionally speaking, the brides family should be footing the bill for the entire wedding. If you want to go tit for tat, sure. YOU pay for the wedding and im POSITIVE HE wouldnt mind paying for the honeymoon. Im sure he'll even treat you to dessert after dinner.
SummerBride10
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
Posted by FutureMrsG
We paid for ours together...you are getting married you money is his money and vice versa.
Same here.
jackieee
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
Traditional the parents of the bride paid for the entire wedding..That doesn't happen nowadays.
We are BOTH paying for the honeymoon. My money is his, his money is mine anyway. That's how I see it.
I think if your FH can afford it, and wants to fine, but you're married, so it's really both your money anyway.
jackieee
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
Posted by grkbarbie
traditionally speaking, the brides family should be footing the bill for the entire wedding. If you want to go tit for tat, sure. YOU pay for the wedding and im POSITIVE HE wouldnt mind paying for the honeymoon. Im sure he'll even treat you to dessert after dinner.
heheh you crack me up!
Clover23
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
his mom is paying for about half of our honeymoon. we're paying for the rest. technically i am actually paying for it since it's on my credit card. however he gives me a chunk of money every month to go towards cc bills that are for stuff for both of us.
MikesBride2B
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
I think its unreasonable to expect him to pay for the honeymoon...you're setting a bad precedent for the rest of your marriage. A marriage is a partnership, you two are equal, what's yours is his and vice versa. If you don't like the idea of laying out $4000 of your money to take that honeymoon then perhaps you should choose a honeymoon that is not as expensive.
Lsorrent
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
We're very lucky in that my FIL's are paying for our HM. But I wouldn't expect your FH to pay for it. Besides, if he's paying for it, isn't really that you're both paying for it? I don't know if you live together yet or not, but once you do, what's yours is his and vice versa. While FH and I still have our own separate bank accounts (and one joint account) everything is OURS together. That's what a marriage is about. Merging two lives together and working as one.
soontobecruz
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
We are splitting the HM. I actually thought that is what most people do. I have never heard as the HM as the brides gift.
Jna2010
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
he's paying for ours, but honestly either way you look at it (unless your parents pick up the tab) youre both paying for it, youre going to be married, hence joint exprenses so whether he comes into the marriage 8k less or you do, youre both using money from the same piggybank
stinenandy2010
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
traditionally, i have heard that the FH is suppose to pay for the hm.....however nothing with wedding planning now a days is traditional. i wouldn't expect him to pay for it, especially since he is contributing to the wedding costs.
in my case, dh and i already own a home together prior to getting married, so we have everything in one account so we both paid for the hm.
kris_gets_hitched
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
You can't really phrase 'honey, I'd like for you to pay for an $8K+++ trip for both of us to enjoy completely out of your pocket' in a non-awkward way.
He's already paying toward the wedding, along with you and your parents. I don't blame him for thinking that the HM would be split financially as well.
Keep in mind that if you are able to convince him that he should be paying for it, then he will be entering into the marriage with $8K+++ not in his savings account, which most couples use as a joint account.
elp6421
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Re: Help! Should future husband pay for the honeymoon?
FH and are lucky because our parents each gave us a set amount of money which we could spend in whatever way we wished. Turns out we had enough for all of the wedding expenses plus the honeymoon.
BUT if that wasn't the case, FH and I would totally be sharing the cost. I mean really, once your married does it matter who pays for what????
