HELP - Should I unask a BM??? - a little long

I invite a good friend that I worked with closly for 2 years to my daughter Emmas christening(Sept 02). she says yes she will come but day of does not show or call. she calls days later to say sorry she got into a fight with her boyfriend. I invite her to Emmas birthday party(June 03). she says yes she will come but day of does not show or call. days later she stops by with a gift. I asked her to be my bridesmaid in Nov 2002. She says OF COURSE. I planned today to take my BM's to pick out their dresses. I planned this day a month ago. 2 of them are great. they reply they take the day off of work. I track down #3 on Friday and she says she took the whole day off and to call her on sunday to get directions to her new house. I call her Sunday night. No answer. I call her this morning about 20 times. No answer. STILL NO CALL FROM HER at 10PM. The stress of wondering if my BM is going to show up for my wedding is a bit ridiculous right? should i just tell her to shove it??

Re: HELP - Should I unask a BM??? - a little long

i would suggest sitting down with her and having a really honest talk and let her know your concerns...see if she can shed some light on it - and if you still dont' feel comfortable with her.....you always have me

seriously - good luck!

Re: HELP - Should I unask a BM??? - a little long

LOL - god i know you are just doing it for the dress and free food

Re: HELP - Should I unask a BM??? - a little long

am i that transparent??

Re: HELP - Should I unask a BM??? - a little long

yep

Re: HELP - Should I unask a BM??? - a little long

good luck!!

Re: HELP - Should I unask a BM??? - a little long

Sounds to me like she has some issues going on... I too, would sit down and have a talk with her. After having the talk, if you don't feel comfortable and think that she will still flake out on you... then I would find someone else to take her place. IMO, people who truly love you and are your friends wouldn't do that to you... even if there is some problem in their life.. at least call the same day! The decision is totally up to you and how you feel about this friend. Go with your gut instincts..

Re: HELP - Should I unask a BM??? - a little long

I went through a similar situation. I would talk her. When I brought it, my former BM sounded very surprise and reassured me that she would be there. She had some other issues going on in her life so I was a bit understanding. Then 3 weeks later after we were suppose to order dresses I got an e-mail saying she doesn't feel up to it. Not even a phone call. I found that I discovered who my real friends were as I planned my wedding.

Re: HELP - Should I unask a BM??? - a little long

With missing my daughters 2 events then missing the choosing of the dress I feel like I already know who my real friends are.

Re: HELP - Should I unask a BM??? - a little long

I would talk to her and say how she couldnt make to any of ure important events, How upset u are by this, And how u want to make sure she still wants to be a bm and make sure she will be able to make it that day!!

Re: HELP - Should I unask a BM??? - a little long

Iwopuld talk to her and let her know how you feel. Explain that if she isn't able to be aprt of the wedding you need to know and give her the chnace to exit gracefully.

Re: HELP - Should I unask a BM??? - a little long

I say unask her! I asked my EX BF if she wanted to step down from being my MOH twice because of her lack of intrest (& large about of b*tching), both times she said no. 6 weeks before my wedding (which is now 9 days away) at my bachelorette party, she has a huge blowout with me that not only ended our friendship, but caused my other MOH(who is my friend not hers) to back out as well(its a very long story & even though my other friend will be at my wedding, she didn't feel comfortable being in my BP because she got caught in the crossfire). So, a month before my wedding I had to ask my cousin to stand up for me(& find her a dress & redo a million other things). I really feel like I knew months ago that this so called friend could never handle being my MOH. I wished I would of told her along time ago not to be my BP,instead of letting her ruin part of the whole wedding process for me.