I'm abit disappointed in my choice of bridesmaid. I actually chose her to be my MOH '(also my SIL) 'cus she got married recently and has offered to help me plan my wedding. So she's the first person I asked. Things has been shakey every since. She has basically questioned me about all my choices. And has guilt-tripped me along the way....
1. She calls LIW a cult when I mentioned I come here for advice 2. She has questioned my choice of makeup artist/stylist and even got my fiance and brother to let me know the makeup artist and stylist isn't the best choice. One reason may be because I'm not using the artist/stylist she used. 3. She guilt-tripped me into paying for all the bridesmaid hair/makeup and dresses saying that's the way SHE did it at her wedding. 4. She has repeated asked me why am I not included kids in the wedding, until I cave in and said fine - so now I'm stuck with having 15 kids ages 3 months to 15 years old - in what is supposed to be a small wedding of only 100 people. 5. She told one of her friends who recently married that I'm demanding, and her friend actually defended me!
That's jus abit of it... And now I haven't talked to her or ask for her opinion in weeks and she tells my brother that I'm not respecting her opinion.
Please don't quote this as I mentioned that I'm on LIWeddings.com (she calls us a CULT :P) and I think she might just come here to read my post. *sigh*
What is a girl to do about this? Anyone has experiences like this?
PrincessRose
Posted:
Member since
Re: Helpful or Hurtful Bridesmaid?
A Cult???? That's too funny!!!!!
I can only guess that she knew someone who was accused of being a fakie.
ANYWAY, she's entirely too overdemanding. She had her wedding. Helping doesn't mean making yours like hers, it means facilitating you in creating *your* dream wedding.
spooks
Posted:
Member since
Re: Helpful or Hurtful Bridesmaid?
So sorry this happened to you and that she's been like that. I think you should try to talk to her - say something like you respect her opinion, particualrly b/c you loved her wedding but you're different people and while you appreciate her help and advice you also want to make this wedding your own and if you make mistakes along the way, well then that's your choice. (not that you will, just to tell her that and get her off your back).
Good luck - no matter what you'll have a great wedding!
MonkeyLuv
Posted:
Member since
Re: Helpful or Hurtful Bridesmaid?
You have to go with your gut. It's a difficult decision and you'll feel guilty about it, but it's a decision that needs to be made.
I actually was having similar problems with my two MOHs and I asked them to step down because we had seriously grown apart as people and they made me feel very guilty for the emotions I was feeling during the planning process. It sucked because they told me they had stopped calling me because I never had any money to hang out (because I'm saving for the wedding). They were constantly telling me I was distant and then they'd actively ignore my attempts at connecting. It was really weird.
It got pretty ugly with one of them and she wished me a 'boring a depressing life'.
It was the right decision, not the easy one, but the right one. I'm still not sure how I really feel about it, but these girls made me feel wrong for being myself so I had to do it.
cherish83
Posted:
Member since
Re: Helpful or Hurtful Bridesmaid?
Its your wedding!! Do what will make you happy! Don't feel guilt ridden about any of your decisions. Having 15 more children (while at half the price) is still more money that you had wanted to spend.. i would've said.. okay, i'll have the children if you plan on paying for them!... I wouldn't go to her for any more advice... because the advice she is giving you are the demands that she wants. Confide in one of your other bridesmaids.. and your fellow LIW cult members...lol
nov04LIbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Helpful or Hurtful Bridesmaid?
That's really so sad that people become evil during the planning process. I think people are just jealous of your own happiness and excitement. You need to surround yourself with people who will be supportive and encouraging, not those who make you feel bad. It's never an easy decision, but it is the right one.
