About a month ago (when my FH & FFIL were out of town) my FMIL & I were chatting about wedding stuff. She said to me, and I quote: 'I always wished Michael would've married K. Then we would have the perfect family'. K. is my FSIL's best friend, has been for years. She's like part of their family, my FH thinks of her like a sister. Even so, how could anyone say that to their son's future wife! What boggles me is his mother & I always had a good relationship.
Does anyone have advice on what I should do or say? Should I NOT say anything, or let my FH talk to her? He knows what she said and was furious, but I keep debating on whether I should have him say something.
Sorry the post is so long. Please let me know what you think.
luvabul
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Re: HELP.....Need FMIL advice
awww
CrisiDrue
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Re: HELP.....Need FMIL advice
I was going to give a single rose to my mom & FMIL at the ceremony (I can't remember details, I think I give it to them before my father gives me away) and I know this sounds petty, but I'm not giving one to my FMIL anymore. I see her in a completely different light now. I can't honor someone who obviously thinks her family is 'imperfect' b/c of me.
Sorry to all, just venting.
luvabul
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Re: HELP.....Need FMIL advice
no i agree with you! its not petty, what she said was!
failurebydsign
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Re: HELP.....Need FMIL advice
you should kick her in the tooth
erdbeere
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Re: HELP.....Need FMIL advice
OMG that is an absolutely horrible thing to say... I don't think my FMIL is crazy about us marrying, but atleast she has never said anything like THAT to me... I'm so sensative I probably would have started crying.
But you say you always had a really good relationship and she said it in a cheerful way, maybe she didn't mean it how it sounds...like it just came out wrong and she didn't realize how it sounded to you?
For that reason, I'd say either you or FH should talk to her about it...then if she still sticks with what she says you can continue being angry and not give her the rose.
Lucky0510
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Re: HELP.....Need FMIL advice
Posted by Pencils
Don't let her see that it's upsetting you. Which is why I don't think you should have your FH say something. She was trying to get a rise out of you, but don't give her the satisfaction. If it escalates, you might have to have your FH say something. But, if you don't play her game, she might give it up. She's going to be your MiL for a long time, you're going to have to deal with her, you might as well learn to do it now, right?
Sorry, though. You're to be commended for not choking the woman.
I agree!
My father has a real problem with alcohol and is always saying things to FH just to get a rise out of him. When I confront him ... he acts like it was just a joke... says things like 'i would never say something like that' 'he knows i am just joking around with him' . But, he would keep it up knowing that it would get a rise out of us. Now that we ignore him ... its practically stopped. I don't recommend that either of you confront her because I doubt that you will get the results you are looking for. it will probably just make things worse... but if you do make sure she is sober at the time. Trying to reason with someone that is drunk is almost impossible.
aprilv
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Re: HELP.....Need FMIL advice
OMG!! I would have not been able to remember the rest of the conversation because I would have been asking myself 'Did this B really just say that???!!!' From the sounds of everything you are doing the right thing and I would just take it as you being put on notice. I always feel that it is better to see someone's true colors as early as possible. Don't let her see you sweat! I also would not make an overt leaving her out of something at the ceremony because it may offend others that don't know the situation. I would just keep her at a general arms length. Good Luck!!!
daniebc16
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Re: HELP.....Need FMIL advice
I would be SOOOOO Pissed!!! But, I also wouldn't say anything...you ARE going to be part of the family, so just because she can't bite her tongue, doesn't mean you can't....keep the peace, you will forget about it ... in a couple of years!!
alymikewedding08
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Re: HELP.....Need FMIL advice
omg that's INSANE.. i HATE when my fmil says dumb crap to me.. I feel like she doesn't think before she speaks.. did you tell your fh??
nmagel
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Re: HELP.....Need FMIL advice
I understand!! My FMIL is a crazy lady! She took me out to dinner the other night to tell me how disappointed she was in me b/c I didn't visit her mother in the hospital over a year ago in upper Westchester when I didn't have a car at that time. She also told me that boys always come back to their mothers even after they get married.
