Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

OctGroom Posted: Jul 15, 2004 04:33 PM

Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

sometimes at work, two female colleagues referred to me respectively as 'honey' and 'darling' and other names as such.

i know them.. and I like them from what I do know about them.. but I don't know them socially or really ever talk to them in depth, let's say. I didn't mind though. (As far as I'm concerned, I'm already a married man.)

Question raised --

In the strictest definition of sexual harassment, would this qualify?

And would it be if the roles were reversed..

I submit the question to you.....

In my opinion.. the answer is NO. it's not.

But if the roles were reversed.. it might be much more risky.

don424 Posted: Jul 15, 2004 04:35 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

i agree if you did the same, it'd be harassment

don424 Posted: Jul 15, 2004 04:36 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

it's like ethnic slurs (which let me make clear i am dead against saying)

you always hear two people of the same ethnicity referring to themselves by slang

but if someone else does, it's discrimination

Sassyz75 Posted: Jul 15, 2004 04:37 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

I think it's only harassment if it creates a hostile work environment and you cannot continue with your job as it should be done.

So I think if even if the shoe WAS on the other foot, unless it created a hostile environment it would not be harassment.

ChristineC68 Posted: Jul 15, 2004 04:37 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

If the behaviour made you uncomfortable then it is harrassment.

prncssrachel Posted: Jul 15, 2004 04:37 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

I would not call it harrassment either way. Just plain old inappropriate.

palebride Posted: Jul 15, 2004 04:38 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

Posted by ChristineC68

If the behaviour made you uncomfortable then it is harrassment.

exactly - no matter what sex you are

BMD'sPeanut Posted: Jul 15, 2004 04:39 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

my female boss calls me honey...it drives me crazy...but probably not actually harrassment...

i feel i was the victim of two seperate sexually harrassing conversations in the past at an old job...

cluelessbride Posted: Jul 15, 2004 04:40 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

Posted by Sassyz75

I think it's only harassment if it creates a hostile work environment and you cannot continue with your job as it should be done.

So I think if even if the shoe WAS on the other foot, unless it created a hostile environment it would not be harassment.

ditto

Kriss2c Posted: Jul 15, 2004 04:41 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

I agree if the situation makes you uncomfortable then it is a form of harassment.

tourist Posted: Jul 15, 2004 04:43 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

interesting. . .
I think its annoying , like when waitresses do it, but true, it is considered more in in appropriate from a man.

I guess beczase men aren't ususally that endearing. . .

palebride Posted: Jul 15, 2004 04:46 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

i think it's because of the look that a man gives you when he calls you honey or sweetheart.....bleh!

OctGroom Posted: Jul 15, 2004 04:48 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

Posted by palebride

i think it's because of the look that a man gives you when he calls you honey or sweetheart.....bleh!

Kriss2c Posted: Jul 15, 2004 04:51 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

Posted by palebride

i think it's because of the look that a man gives you when he calls you honey or sweetheart.....bleh!

The way I see it if anyone, man or woman uses it towards someone other than a spouse or family member and it is not a form a gratitude on a personal form (a.k.a, thank you, sweetie) it is condescending.

Jan05Bride Posted: Jul 15, 2004 04:55 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

Posted by Kriss2c

Posted by palebride

i think it's because of the look that a man gives you when he calls you honey or sweetheart.....bleh!

The way I see it if anyone, man or woman uses it towards someone other than a spouse or family member and it is not a form a gratitude on a personal form (a.k.a, thank you, sweetie) it is condescending.

Absolutely, I work with a woman who does this and she is consescending ... she does it to the CEO ... soooo inappropriate!

Niecey Posted: Jul 15, 2004 04:58 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

Posted by 121502

I would not call it harrassment either way. Just plain old inappropriate.

I agree. I think many people esp. woman are too quick to jump to harrassment charges...

I also agree with that look someone said above - yuck...you know when someone says it - slips up or means it old-fashioned and when someone is looking at you other ways.

The old director or HR use to call me honey and sweetie all the time - went right thru me. I never said anything it just irked me...my friends and I use to laugh at it. But then a girl in his dept brought him up on charges for it and she tried to pull me in - I wanted no part of it. It didn't make me uncomfortable to tarnish my professionalism with that stuff....Plus I have experience much much worse things here at my company. DH laughs and says we could be rich with some of the things I have experience here. Try being the IT person who has to crawl under some pervert's desk to set up a PC....

Xelindrya Posted: Jul 15, 2004 06:04 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

hrm.. it's simple here. AVOID it!
Anything that can potentionally make you feel uncomfortable or those around you uncomfortable is considered harrassment here.

JMO

Girl to guy, guy to girl. either way is wrong.

september2004 Posted: Jul 15, 2004 07:30 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

Posted by ChristineC68

If the behaviour made you uncomfortable then it is harrassment.

i disagree...

there are lots of drama queens out there who take things out of context sometimes and because they are so desperate for attention will call anything and everything 'sexual harassment'. i've seen it happen quite a few times...

this case i would just file under 'annoying' or 'inappropriate' and either ask the person to stop or call them something equally irritating...

september2004 Posted: Jul 15, 2004 07:32 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

Posted by Niecey
Try being the IT person who has to crawl under some pervert's desk to set up a PC....

sorry, can totally relate...

Stavia Posted: Jul 15, 2004 07:52 PM

Re: Here's a question for you.... (potentially controversial!)

I have to admit, I call all my employees honey, sweetie, etc. I never would mean it offensively & a matter of fact I mention during almost all of my new hire orientation. I always tell them that anything that makes them feel uncomfortable is sexual harassment(this statement comes from my corporate office, but I totally support it) & that I have a habit of calling people honey & sweetie, so if they are ever offended, just tell me & I'll stop. Noone who works for me has ever taken it offensively, but I do realize it is considered a bad habit. For me, its a learned habit, my grandmother raised me & have you ever realized how many people your grandmother calls honey or sweetie? Well, my grandmother called everyone that. LOL!