Hey Catholic Brides....

Me and my FH are both Catholic-I have done all my sacraments but never really saw myself getting married in the church. My FH prefered a church wedding and after some discussions back and forward we decided to book the church. I am glad we did but I was shocked when I was told the price to marry us You have to think about what you both want & keep in mind that churches don't marry you for free.

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Posted by NYtherapist

I'm not Catholic, but my FH is. He made all of his sacraments, but is not practicing. While he isn't practicing, he does want a priest to be part of our ceremony.

Why am I telling you this? Some people don't follow organized religion, but still feel connected to their faiths. If you want to feel more connected to your faith by having a ceremony in church, that's what you should do. Let's be honest: the ceremony is really the most important part of the day, not the party that follows.

Going to mass doesn't mean that one person is more faithful than another. I can think of many, many people who go to mass every Sunday but don't practice what is preached.

Discuss the ceremony with your FH. If you think you want to have two ceremonies, do it. Personally, I'm all for doing something that will make relatives happy, provided that it's something the person is comfortable doing.

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Thanks! my thoughts exactly.

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Posted by kerryums

My comment has nothing to do with religion or the religious aspect of this question, so to speak, but something to think about is, a huge benefit of having an off-site ceremony is you do not have to miss your cocktail hour or see eachother before the wedding to take your pics! The time in between a church ceremony and a reception is a built-in photo time. FH and I have to see each other beforehand because we don't want to miss a huge part of our party (or make our families and BP miss it either). I am not particularly traditional but I do feel kind of sad that me walking down the aisle will not be his first glimpse at me. Just another thing to work into your thought process. :)

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Thanks! It is kind of hard letting go of that tradition of the groom seeing you for the first time down the isle....

Honestly in your case I would do one or the other. DH and I are both Catholics and the reason why we didnt do a destination wedding was bc it was a must to get married in church.

Now, if you guys dont practice it then I really dont see why you should marry in the church.

I think most people are use to attending a church and later a venue. If you provide them with directions card they should be ok.

do what makes both of you happy! you dont want to talking about your wedding years down the road and say 'i wish we did this instead'

you guys need to just sit down and talk it over. both me and FH are catholic, i went to catholic school my whole life. but neither of us visioned the church or mass. we are doing an outdoor ceremony and having some say a few nice things, like a blessing.

a girlfriend of mine at the last min. realized she wanted the mass after all so both families and WP were at the church the wkend before for a small quite ceremony.

you have to do whatever makes you happy, and like someone else said the ceremony is really the most important part. just make sure its what you both want and are happy with.

I can completely relate to what your saying. Whatever you do, make sure to consider it seriously and deeply before making a decision.

Here's my story and why I'm putting so much emphasis on making it seriously:

When DH & I got engaged (we're both Catholic), he wanted to get married in a church and I did not. I was going through a part of my life where I was struggling with a lot of church teachings, and I refused to be married in one. We booked our ceremony at the RH. We both wanted religious elements, so we booked an Episcopalian reverend to perform the ceremony.

Flash to 3 months before the wedding: I came to peace with the terms of the church, and realized that I don't agree with anyone or anything 100 percent, so why was I holding it against the church only and not the hundreds of other institutions, establishments, and people that I came into contact with in a daily basis? I panicked and realized how important it was to me to be married in a Catholic Church, but also to receive the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.

There I was... 3 months before the wedding in a state of frenzy trying to find a Catholic Church that would allow us (and had the day and time free!) to book a wedding 3 months prior AND allow the Episcopalian reverend to participate, because we really, really liked him and wanted him to be a part of the day. Of course, this was in addition to re-planning the entire time line in my head, contacting all of the vendors to see if they were available later in the day, and freaking out about my invitations. Everything turned out fine, thank God.

It's a deeply personal matter, and the choice is up to you and your DH. However, just remember that the ceremony is the wedding-it's the most important part of the day. Just make sure to put a LOT of thought into it and choose what is most important for you and your future lives together before making a final decision so you don't wind up being a crazy loon 3 months before the wedding like I was!

I think it's amazing how some posts can just get way out of hand!!!

Don't let anyone put you down. We are all strangers on here & we are all here to help people out not to disrespect people & their decisions.

We are getting married in a church because FH's family is religious & because of them he wants it in a church. Neither FH or myself go to church regularly. His grandparents go everyday. We are getting married in his grandparent's church & they are so excited about it