Hi - I'm new to the boards

I admit, I've been a lurker. I enjoy reading the post and listening to the advice everyone has for each other.

I have a small vent, and not sure what to do or how to handle it.

My MOH told me that she has been trying to get pregnant (had what she thinks might have been a miscarriage - 6 weeks ago). She also acknowledged that if she got pregnant, she would be due right around the time of my wedding and told her husband that it would have to wait. She just informed again that she thinks that she had another miscarriage last week.

I know how much she wants to have a family and I'll be so excited when she does get pregnant, but am I being selfish for wishing she would put it off for just a few more months so that she isn't huge in my wedding? The dresses wouldn't really work on 7+ month pregnant women.

Opinions? Am I being a b----?

This questions comes up a lot and there are feelings on all sides. You are not wrong to wish for anything BUT, I do not think it is ever reasonable for someone to be expected to change their life plan to fit into a dress.
1. Many dresses now come with maternity options (Jenny Yoo, as an example has a whole section)
2. A slightly different dress, in the same color will photograph lovely and won;t it be wonderful to be able to look at your wedding photos and recall when little Jr or whatever w'came' to the wedding-when you will inevitaby be close to this child growing up. JMO

Congrats!! Hello!! Welcome!!
Glad you decided to join us!

Honestly, being that she had miscarriages and that she really wants this...I would be a friend to her, putting your feelings and thoughts aside and support her. Mention to her that her getting pregnant...does that mean she can't be your MOH.

Welcome to the board!

I wish your MOH the best of luck w/ whatever her decision is!

I am on the side of, why start right this second. My FH best friends wife just got pregnant ON PURPOSE so she is due on our wedding day. I feel that if you agree on being parto f a wedding, then think twice about getting knocked up at that time. I don't know why anyone would want to do that. The stress alone is not worth it. But I think that's just me. Being pregnant at the wedding is one thing, I have no problem with that, But when they INTENTIONALLY get pregnant so that they are due around the wedding date, then that is just evil.


ugh, I am still reeling...can you tell?

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Posted by CubanBride

I am on the side of, why start right this second. My FH best friends wife just got pregnant ON PURPOSE so she is due on our wedding day. I feel that if you agree on being parto f a wedding, then think twice about getting knocked up at that time. I don't know why anyone would want to do that. The stress alone is not worth it. But I think that's just me. Being pregnant at the wedding is one thing, I have no problem with that, But when they INTENTIONALLY get pregnant so that they are due around the wedding date, then that is just evil.


ugh, I am still reeling...can you tell?

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This is what I think that I'm upset most about. She started after I got engaged and even acknowledged that she would be due around my wedding and said they shouldn't continue, but did.

I truly am excited that this is going to happen for them. I haven't said a word to her that this is bothering me, and I won't, because I would never hurt the friendship.

WELCOME TO THE BOARD!!!!

I think getting pregnant is hard for some people and a blessing for all no matter when it happens.

If I were in the same situation I would sit back and let nature take its course. She can be in your wedding pregnant or not. Just think, you could tell the baby she/he was 'at' your wedding!

Congrats on your engagement and welcome!!

IMO - I think you should try and sort through your feelings of why it bothers you she is pregnant at your wedding. Can't you both have a joyous occasion together? If she is not your MOH, or MOH while pregnant, will it be the end of the world? If she is truly a friend, she will be supportive of your wedding, regardless of whether she is pregnant or not! Good luck...

Well, my sister is my MOH and they already have one son, he is 5 months right now. We already had a disagreement on whether or not he should be involved in the wedding. I said no only because he woule be barely a year and a half and I don't think he will really understand the concept. Chances are he will freak out and be hysterical...way to start off the ceremony!

Anyway, that was off topic. But we went BM dress shopping a month ago and she was talking to the person helping us asking what they would do with the dress if she got pregnant. I was a little surprised but I don't think it's my place to tell her she can't have another baby until after my wedding. I just keep crossing my fingers...so far its been 2 months and no baby in the tummy yet!

Jess:
My niece will be about 15 months at our ceremony and what the planner suggested is having a plan for hand off. Get the baby down the aisle (still TBD how) and then have someone off to the side who can take her out of the ceremony for which she clearly will not sit still. Seems like best of all worlds.

Welcome to the boards! I dont think you are wrong to prefer the girls to wear non-maternity dresses but one positive thing if she is 7+ months preggo for your wedding... at least she is the MOH and her dress if different.

Welcome to the boards.

I wouldn't be upset at her if she is pregnant at your wedding. It is a miracle and you should be happy for her. David's Bridal also carries Maternity BM dresses.

just wanted to say

First, welcome to the boards!!

As for being mad-- I don't blame you at all!! One of my BM keeps talking about getting pregnant next year and I can't understand why she would voluntarily get pregnant right before her friends wedding, that she is in! Unless the person has some medical reasons for getting pregnant when they do I don't understand why they'd want to purposely do that...

That's JMO...

Welcome to the boards!!! come to the GTG friday!!!


good luck with your MOH-- it will work out however g-d plans it too (sorry, i jsut got back from teaching CCD)

I think just roll with the punches as unhelpful as that may sound. Unfortunately it is a lose lose situation. If she gets pregnant before your wedding you won't be happy but if you tell her it will make her unhappy and by the same turn, you unhappy (at the risk of hurting your friendship).

Conceiving can be a very hard things for some couples especially if they have possibly had 2 miscarriages. My sister was in the same boat. She had one miscarriage but she tried to conceive for over 18 months before she got pregnant. They tried every method of trying possible and were about to do hormone shots when she miscarried one month only to conceive my beautiful nephew the next.

I can see both sides of this....But my advice would be plan for the tummy be thankful if it's not there!

It's okay to want your wedding day to be perfect but in all honesty it won't be...real life happens! As for me I already have a son who will be 15 months old when FI and I get married. I think its wonderful that your MOH wants to conceive and even though it's not on your time schedule maybe it's more suiting for hers. Like the others said there are plenty of dresses out there for preganet women and I wouldnt worry to much about a big belly because she will probably look beautiful...since it is a beautiful thing! I would worry more about her going into labor in which case I would get a back up MOH!

Hi!! Welcome to '05!!!!!!! Don't worry - you're not alone. I would feel just as mixed about it as you. There are a lot of great maternity dresses though!

welcome to the boards!!! i don't want to tell you you're the b word for feeling that way, because no you're not.

however, i have a friend who just had a miscarriage, and she would've been due right at the time of my wedding and we were laughing saying we hoped it was really late or really early before it happened!!! but now seeing her go through this, it just seems so awful

i would support your friend in what she's trying to do. like the girls said, being pregnant doesn't mean she couldn't be at your wedding.

good luck...and WELCOME!!