I admit, I've been a lurker. I enjoy reading the post and listening to the advice everyone has for each other.
I have a small vent, and not sure what to do or how to handle it.
My MOH told me that she has been trying to get pregnant (had what she thinks might have been a miscarriage - 6 weeks ago). She also acknowledged that if she got pregnant, she would be due right around the time of my wedding and told her husband that it would have to wait. She just informed again that she thinks that she had another miscarriage last week.
I know how much she wants to have a family and I'll be so excited when she does get pregnant, but am I being selfish for wishing she would put it off for just a few more months so that she isn't huge in my wedding? The dresses wouldn't really work on 7+ month pregnant women.
Opinions? Am I being a b----?
Littletowers21
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Hi and welcome
FoxHollowbride0617
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Welcome and Congrats on your engagement
mushsgrl
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congratulations and welcome to the addiction. I think you need to voice your opinion to your MOH and ultimatley let her make the decisoin and you need to back her up. I know its hard I was going through the same thing
dsandbs
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I understand how you feel...my sister just got married but is planning on starting a family within the year...
Right after we got engaged she said- if you don't want me pregnant the wedding has to be before December 2005 (which FI and I were thinking about)... The last thing I wanted was my only, really fun sister to be pregnant...not that you can't be sober and have fun :)...
so FI and I decided to get married in April..avoids all problems.
Dooodles
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First I would like to welcome you to the boards and hopefully you will become a regular! I don't think you are a b-tch for not wanting your friend to be huge at your wedding. But I do think it a bit selfish to want her to hold off on starting a family with the struggles she is going through just so you don't end up with someone hugely pregnant in your wedding party. If she becomes pregnant - be tremendously happy for her and help her pick out the most beautiful dress an expectant mother could be in and still stand at your side!
MrsK-in-June05
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my moh is ttc. she will be w/child at my wedding. i am thinking of firing her for other reasons. the pregnancy thing is not a factor. if it is your friend and you want her in the wedding then whether she is w/child or not should not affect that. JMO
justshir
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it's pretty obvious having a family of her own is very important to her and it should be. if she does become pregnant during your wedding and you are still so concerned about her physical appearance then you might as well tell her of your concerns right now. i just hope she'll understand your dilemma as opposed to her own and bow out of the bridal party. unless you think you can get a different dress, yet similar to the other bm dresses, for her that suits a pregnant woman.
janielanie
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I admit, I am being slightly selfish. Her and I have spoken and she said she feels bad for causing me stress with the dresses, etc., but I told her that if this is what she needs to do, than she should do it. I guess, g_d forbid, if she ends up with a high risk pregnancy ( which she most likely will), I could ask someone else to step up if she is bed-ridden.
Thanks for helping me look at my priorities.
carolv
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Glad to know there is someone like me out there.
sorry ladies I am also a lurker, but have decided to join in.
If this is what your mom really wants, then just stand by her. At the end she would probably do the same for you. But at the same time I see your point.
As if this time wasn't stressful enough! Sorry that you have to go through this.
suezboss
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Posted by FLaCaTaCa
Congrats!! Hello!! Welcome!! Glad you decided to join us!
Honestly, being that she had miscarriages and that she really wants this...I would be a friend to her, putting your feelings and thoughts aside and support her. Mention to her that her getting pregnant...does that mean she can't be your MOH.
Hi and Welcome! I totally agree with Flaca- totally support her, she shouldn't hvae to put someting as important as starting a family asside, to fit a dress, Dresses come in all sizes. I understand how you would feel about this, but if she truly is your MOH, I would think taht you would be happy for her, and glad that she can be a part of your special day, NO MATTER HOW BIG.
janielanie
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This really doesn't have anything to do with her fitting into a dress or looking good in the pictures. It has more to do with her being able to share my day and the days leading up to it.
I've just seen a similar post on the BHB board and this is a very sticky subject with so many different opinions.
GettingMarried0402
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Hey there...and welcome fellow wedding newbie. I can relate to what your feeling. One of my bridesmaids just got pregant and guess, she's due in APRIL!!!!
It's a tough situation but you can't necessarily kick her out. I'll be the first to admit that at first I was really mad and all I could think about was that episode from Friends where Monica got engaged and Rachel and Ross kissed. I felt like she 'stole my thunder.' Then I came back down to reality and realized that she really wants to be in the wedding and I need to make her feel good about that.
Now I'm happy for her. You should be supportive because apparently she's going through a difficult situation with 2 miscarriages.
February05
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ohhhh also... they say its good luck to have either a married woman and/ or a pregnant woman in your BP--- its like a good luck/ sign of a long marriage and fertility
