Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
Sarahgetsmarried
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Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
Hi Ladies,
I hope you are having a great day. As my wedding gets closer, and I see OTHER ladies on the board getting closer, I see one big trend:
Weddings under the minimum.
It ***** because you feel like you ARE paying for nothing.
This is what my FH and I did VERY early. In fact, we did it as we sent the save the dates out. (8 months in advance)
By the time you send out your dave the dates you have a guest list. You should ALSO have a 'B' and 'C' list.
Our 'C' list was co-workers. We both have small offices and let EVERYONE know that its too bad we cant invite everone. We would love to, but we just cant.
We started grooming them EARLY. And everyone KNOWS that if we could, we would have LOVED to invite everyone.
So now that our wedding is coming closer, we already have 16 no's with an anticiptated 10 more, or so. We have sent out the 'B' list, or we are in the process of doing it.
But if we end up under our min, we are going to go to the co-workers and my sorority sisters (or whover YOU designate as a C list) and say 'It ends up we CAN invite you.'
Will they know they were last min? Yes. Will they be insulted? No. IF they are insulted do we care? No.
But it gives us an opportunity to fill the room with people we WANT to come, but maybe not our first or second choice.
So my advice is groom a 'C' list of people. If you get under your min, the hall wont throw stuff in, and you are bumbed, you will be able to invite people at the last min and feel like you REALLY want them there.
I hope this helps as you all plan your weddings.
Junebride2010
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
Sorry, but I hate the idea of a B list as it is but I understand sometimes one is needed--dont think i would ever have a C list and and not really sure what one is (cant you just have a large B list and leave it at that?) Just feel bad for the C listers and hope I am never on one of those lists
Anyway, I think the best thing to do is to be very careful and overly cautious when booking. If you are only inviting 150 people dont have a 125 minimum.
JillandJoe
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
thanks for the heads up. I think the hard part for me is I can't imagine who will say no... everyone I invited is on my A-list. We r inviting 204 and have 150 min and I can comfortably say if 55+ people so no id die
JoanneAndJustin
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
I've been a verbal invite before, and I totally didn't mind, and had a great time. (Jericho Terrace, with Strawberry Fields - the Beatles tribute band as their band)
I was happy to help the couple out, they paid for the dinner anyway, I might as well enjoy their wedding!
SummerBride10
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
Thanks for the advice!
Sometimes, I worry about being under my minimum...although our guest list is at all 230 and our min. is 160- I'm assuming we'll be ok!
You seemed to have everything planned out very well!
Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
We won't be under our minimum unless at least 25 people don't come...
Im getting Married
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
I am also not a fan of the B and C list either. We just decided to keep it small and intimate. Our room holds 100 and our list is 118 (a few out of town) so we will either have to go with the larger room or be just okay.
Sarahgetsmarried
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
I was not a fan of the B and C list either, but we had to look at our finances and say who do we want there first, then see what will happen.
I invited 207 with a 175 min. The invites have been out 2 weeks with 2 to go. So far I have 19 no's and 100 yes (about 50% response)
We have a certain 4 more no's, with a probable 10 over that.
19+4+10=33 which is a final of 174
And that is assume EVERYONE else on the list says yes (which most of them will) but we just dont know.
That puts us below the min if EVERONE else says yes.
Today we are sending out the 'B' list. People we want to come but just could not afford to 'count' on in case they all said yes.
And the 'C' list is our co-workers. *If all else fails* we still wont be under the min and would ENJOY having them there.
Im just trying to show the logic behind the thinking. I NEVER thought we would get so many no's. We all TALK about it, I hear all these other brides say 'I have 40 no's and never thought I would have so many no's'. I said to myslef 'That wont be me'.
Guess what? Its me.
And on the '09 board I cant TELL you how many brides are saying they are under the min.
So as I am living it, I thought it might help you all out in planning
ETA: I just read the original post and the number on this one are correct. I am keeping daily tabs of who is coming, and we all scrutinized the list yesterday.
AdriandSteve
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
I don't understand how a B and C list works.
I get for the invites but what about the std's? You can't obv. send a std to someone and then not invite them to your wedding. But if you don't send out a std and then they find out that you did then what?
I'm so confused about all of this.
Sarahgetsmarried
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
Posted by AdriandSteve
I don't understand how a B and C list works.
I get for the invites but what about the std's? You can't obv. send a std to someone and then not invite them to your wedding. But if you don't send out a std and then they find out that you did then what?
I'm so confused about all of this.
Not a problem.
1. I made a list of who I could invite to the wedding. That was the 'A' list. People who WILL get an invite. And they got a STD.
2. I also made a list of people I would LIKE to invite, but could not afford to. So they became my 'B' list (or think list one and list two). These people do NOT get a STD. I will wait to see how many no's I get from the original list. If I get a lot of no's then I will send invites from the 'B' list. People who I WANT but could not originally afford to invite. Since I got no's, I can now invite them.
Does that help?
Lsorrent
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
Posted by AdriandSteve
I don't understand how a B and C list works.
I get for the invites but what about the std's? You can't obv. send a std to someone and then not invite them to your wedding. But if you don't send out a std and then they find out that you did then what?
I'm so confused about all of this.
Our STD's were only sent to the absolute MUST invites. BP, family members, closest friends. Out of my 270 person guest list, we only sent around 110 STD's. We didn't send to people our parents are unsure of inviting, nor did we send to any co-workers (though I don't think we're inviting co-workers period, they're not on my guest list at all). I also didn't send to some new friends that we've made, as we didn't really know them well enough when we sent them.
AdriandSteve
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
Posted by Lsorrent
Posted by AdriandSteve
I don't understand how a B and C list works.
I get for the invites but what about the std's? You can't obv. send a std to someone and then not invite them to your wedding. But if you don't send out a std and then they find out that you did then what?
I'm so confused about all of this.
Our STD's were only sent to the absolute MUST invites. BP, family members, closest friends. Out of my 270 person guest list, we only sent around 110 STD's. We didn't send to people our parents are unsure of inviting, nor did we send to any co-workers (though I don't think we're inviting co-workers period, they're not on my guest list at all). I also didn't send to some new friends that we've made, as we didn't really know them well enough when we sent them.
haha.. nice last part. Are you even mentioning anything to your co-workers about not inviting them? I'm not inviting any from my reg. job either.
I think it's great that the OP talked about it with her co-workers but I'm DEF not close enough to anyone here to even discuss it with them.
halfbaked
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
I worried a little bit about going under the minimum but after doing our STDs I'm feeling a little better. We are sending out STDs to 160 people, and have about 40 more that we will be sending invites out to and our minimum is 150. We do have a b-list, but it's not a very big b list. And no C list.
Sarahgetsmarried
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
Posted by AdriandSteve
I think it's great that the OP talked about it with her co-workers but I'm DEF not close enough to anyone here to even discuss it with them.
I work in a small office. There are 6 partners (with spouces) and 5 employees.
Since we are small we all work together and are good enough friends.
If this was a large office, and I didnt really know anyone then it would nto have been an issue in the first place ie: not even mentioning it. But we all work close together and are friends.
So it made sense for ME to mention it to 'groom' a C list.
01ELLIE
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
Our minimum is 300 and i have a feeling more will come! I am working on an A & B lists now....its soooo hard to put people on the B list but it has to be done...just cant afford it all.
dcstephanie
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
One piece of advice that I read was to send out your A list invitations 8 weeks out, and then your B list invitations 6 weeks out so the B list people don't necessarily know that they're 'B-List People.'
My FH got an email recently with the subject line, 'the tackiest email you'll ever get.' It was a last minute, 2 weeks out, invitation to a wedding for a friend of his from grad school. He was fine with it, went to the wedding, and had a good time. I think and hope that people don't get tooooo insulted by things like that.
Sarahgetsmarried
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
Posted by dcstephanie
One piece of advice that I read was to send out your A list invitations 8 weeks out, and then your B list invitations 6 weeks out so the B list people don't necessarily know that they're 'B-List People.'
My FH got an email recently with the subject line, 'the tackiest email you'll ever get.' It was a last minute, 2 weeks out, invitation to a wedding for a friend of his from grad school. He was fine with it, went to the wedding, and had a good time. I think and hope that people don't get tooooo insulted by things like that.
Im actually living this right now thats why I wanted to help other brides when it becomes their turn.
1. We sent out invites 9 weeks. Aug 17th (or that moday)
2. 2 1/2 weeks later we have 100 yes, 19 no
--That's about half of invites have RSVP'd. 50% in 50% of the time.
3. We re-evaluated the list, now with 6 1/2 weeks to go
4. With 'most certainly' no's, and anticipating we should get more no's, we will be under min.
5. We are sending out the B list this week and next week. No one will know and be insulted. We are sending some this week. Waiting to see how more response comes, Then we will evaluate to send out the rest of the B list next week.
6. If *ALL ELSE* fails after our RSVP date of Sept 24th and we are below, we will go to a 'C' list of 'It would be nice to have there, were not on the original list, but I have to pay for people so might as well fill the seats, but with people we WANT there'.
But the whole point is I have groomed the C list already. (My co-workers and sorrority sisters). They ALL know 'you just cant invite everyone'. I know these people and KNOW they wont be insulted that at the last min we say 'It ends up we can invite you and I would love to have you there'.
My 'C' list are friends I want there, but with everyone else before them we could not afford to invite everyone. You must always assume that if ou send out an invite its a yes.
Iluvpoodles
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
I would DEFENTIALLY not go to a wedding that I was invited to 2 weeks before, verbally, email or even with an invite. I find it really rude to be telling anyone that they were on a c, b, d or whatever list. My friend who is going to be in my bridal party did that to me with her brothers wedding. She invited me, not even her brother, over the phone the week before telling me oh we have extra space and made a big deal like I would be honored to go. I told her sorry I couldn't afford it. I wasn't going to go empty handed and she knew it. I could have afforded it, but to me it is rude to do. I'm actually looking for a B-list, but my coworkers I don't talk to really, never really fit in with the clique. My boss didn't even congratulate me on my engagment, so yea needless to say will not be getting an invite. My side of the family is super small and I know I will be getting alot of no's. FH had a ton more people at my engagment party verse my side and he is also having about 15 coworkers there. I was thinking of joining facebook just to get in touch with old friends and such so I could even have a B list lol.
alli3131
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
I would def be careful with thinking you will definitely make your min. I had a invite list of 183 and a min of 125. In that guest list it was only close family and friends. I had 133 say yes and then a few last minute cancelations and 3 no-shows. The trend is having a no rate of more than the standard......And I know for a fact some didnt come because of money.
Sarahgetsmarried
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Re: Hi ladies.'09 crash with some advice about minimum for your wedding!
Posted by Iluvpoodles
I would DEFENTIALLY not go to a wedding that I was invited to 2 weeks before, verbally, email or even with an invite. I find it really rude to be telling anyone that they were on a c, b, d or whatever list. .
That is a very good point.
I am NOT saying tell people 'I can invite you at the last min, you were on my C list.'
What I am saying Is I was preparing *some* people who I would want to come, but in the entire scheme could not afford to have.
I prepared them very early in advcance. 'I wish I could have everyone,I just cant...'
So now as it gets closer, and *IF* we dont meet the min, I have another pool of people I can go to. People who I would want there, but were on my 'Im draming' list.
The whole point of this thread was I thought about this very early. I wanted to cover my *** in the end *JUST IN CASE' we had the worst case scenerio of being under our min.
