so this is only the way that i think.....But when you look at other peoples wedding places, honeymoon spots do you get jelious...what i am trying to say is that with a lack of good income and i refuse to ask my rents for help, it's just that we cant do much... am i wrong to feel this way. the bottom line is that we want to buy a house in about 2 or 3 years and the more money that we have the better...would you spend it on a wedding or house....help me out... if we did not have a little girl i would say wedding but i want my two girls to have our own place....
jonn
gertyrae
Posted:
Member since
Re: hmmm
I had to answer you right away. This was sort of an issue for me. I didn't want to do a big wedding and DH did. We ended up doing the wedding, which I wouldn't have changed for a second....it was truly the best day of my life. I can't even begin to explain how wonderful the day was from beginning to end. And this is not even about 'Being princess for a day', it was about having my family and closest friends being a part of the most important day of my life (by the way, this is my second marriage, first was at sisterinlaws house and dinner at a restaurant). This is 'IT', I am so not ever doing this again. I truly am happy and in love with DH. So, that being said, I am really happy that we ended up spending our cash on the wedding. On the other side, we may never be able to have children since I don't think we are ever going to be able to afford a home on Long Island. I didn't answer your poll, cuz I don't think there is a correct answer. I think that you will end up getting a home no matter what. The wedding won't matter. It is an amazing day though so enjoy it. It goes by sooo fast but is such a great experience. Have your wedding and enjoy, you guys will figure out the rest TOGETHER and things will be fine. Sorry this was so long...
sweetadeline
Posted:
Member since
Re: hmmm
Good, good question. We're doing the wedding but we really want a house. Problem is, we don't know where we'll be living in the foreseeable future, so buying a house isn't an option anyway (even if we weren't having a wedding). Wish I could be more helpful, advice-wise!
janwinterbridejoy
Posted:
Member since
Re: hmmm
i think that a wedding can be special no matter where it is as long as all the people that are closest to you are there. i have been to weddings that cost alot of money and wasnt impressed and actually had more fun and a better time at weddings that were far less. i think that since you do have a child you should save towards a house in mu opinion but i would be creative and budget savvy and have a beautiful wedding still. any hall can look pretty with candle light and flowers dont have to be expensive either. i think with the right creativity you can do both. good luck.
julz33
Posted:
Member since
Re: hmmm
We're trying to do both. We are having a very inexpensive wedding. My reception hall was not my first choice. All of my vendors are inexpensive. And the Hawaii honeymoon was a gift from FH's brother. He is giving us his 2 week timeshare. We still are going to have to pay for flights, food and activities though. We have been putting away 60% of our salarys for 2 years. We now have enough money for the wedding and a dp. on a house. If we can do it anyone can
Jenn524
Posted:
Member since
Re: hmmm
We had a really nice wedding-but we didn't spend nearly as much as people thought we did. We made some sacrifices. We had it on a Saturday afternoon, we had one limo for everyone in the bridal party and us, we hired a recommended free lance photographer, I didn't have a $5,000 dress and we didn't go nuts with favors. Yet we still had it at the Fox Hollow, everything was beautiful, almost a year later people are still telling us how our wedding was the best wedding they have ever been to. There's a happy medium between a really expensive wedding and a small wedding. You just have to do research and be willing to make some sacrifices. People thought we spent close to $50,000 on our wedding and in truth we didn't spend half that. To us the marriage was more important than the one day. We decided before all our planning that getting a house was the most important thing to us. Less than a year after our wedding we are in contract for a house. You can have the best of both worlds.
Rainmama
Posted:
Member since
Re: hmmm
I'm all about getting married on top of a scenic hill - no decorations necessary. And then having a reception in someone's backyard - BBQ, good music, drums.... We can invite more family and friends this way...and it would be something that our guests will remember!
sweetadeline
Posted:
Member since
Re: hmmm
Posted by Rainmama
I'm all about getting married on top of a scenic hill - no decorations necessary. And then having a reception in someone's backyard - BBQ, good music, drums.... We can invite more family and friends this way...and it would be something that our guests will remember!
Sounds good to me!
Rainmama
Posted:
Member since
Re: hmmm
Posted by sweetadeline
Posted by Rainmama
I'm all about getting married on top of a scenic hill - no decorations necessary. And then having a reception in someone's backyard - BBQ, good music, drums.... We can invite more family and friends this way...and it would be something that our guests will remember!
Sounds good to me!
LOL Glad you think so!! Now I just have to get Jonn (maiahsdad) on the same page...which I think we are! Our wedding plans have changed about 87 times since we got engaged. I just want to get MARRIED!!!!
tourist
Posted:
Member since
Re: hmmm
i voted house, but I'm probabaly being a hypocrite.
FH had enough moeny saved for s downpayment of soem sort, but he didn't want to accept $ for family for teh wedding so we were willign to spend about half for the wedding. e woudl have gone much more low key, but we are peopel pleasers & knew the families would be disapointed if we didn't have a 'real' wedding.
However, my mother wouldn't let us say no to her offer, so she is paying for part of it, and FILs may contribute some $, so we will have made a smaller dent in the savings than orignially planned and should be able to buy at least an apartment within the year after we are married.
However, since you have a child, I would definitely think more of the house.
september2004
Posted:
Member since
Re: hmmm
don't 'buy into' what everyone is doing around you, do what you want to do and can afford. i know if i had a little girl, all my allocation of resources would be focused around providing her a good life. we are not going 'all out' for our big day, but it won't be cheap. we decided to go for it and therefore our home purchase will be pushed back 2-3 years. with the market being what it is right now, it was fine with us...
i voted for you.
doesn't mean you can't have a beautiful ceremony and low-key celebration...
FeliciaDA
Posted:
Member since
Re: hmmm
Posted by Rainmama LOL Glad you think so!! Now I just have to get Jonn (maiahsdad) on the same page...which I think we are! Our wedding plans have changed about 87 times since we got engaged. I just want to get MARRIED!!!!
Awww ..here's your real answer --
Rainmama just wants to get married, the specifics do not TRULY matter as long as its a celebration of your love and the family you have together. But you have such a sweet and thoughtful FH to be so concerned about giving you a nice wedding, as well as worrying about your future.
Funny enough, I wasn't the one who wanted a 'wedding' at all... my FH did! I've since gotten into the idea, but originally I wanted to run off together, elope and just have a great vacation alone, just the two of us
I do not have any regrets at ALL and am excited about the wedding .. we're keeping it pretty small and not spending top dollar .. but sometimes its funny when I hear that the MEN are more into it than they'll admit..and part of the time think they are doing it for us, when all we want ultimately is to be their wife
Rainmama
Posted:
Member since
Re: hmmm
Posted by FeliciaDA
Posted by Rainmama LOL Glad you think so!! Now I just have to get Jonn (maiahsdad) on the same page...which I think we are! Our wedding plans have changed about 87 times since we got engaged. I just want to get MARRIED!!!!
Awww ..here's your real answer --
Rainmama just wants to get married, the specifics do not TRULY matter as long as its a celebration of your love and the family you have together. But you have such a sweet and thoughtful FH to be so concerned about giving you a nice wedding, as well as worrying about your future.
Funny enough, I wasn't the one who wanted a 'wedding' at all... my FH did! I've since gotten into the idea, but originally I wanted to run off together, elope and just have a great vacation alone, just the two of us
I do not have any regrets at ALL and am excited about the wedding .. we're keeping it pretty small and not spending top dollar .. but sometimes its funny when I hear that the MEN are more into it than they'll admit..and part of the time think they are doing it for us, when all we want ultimately is to be their wife
Sounds like we've got a couple of great guys, eh Felicia?!
