So FI and I are out to dinner last night and he asks me about Flower girls.
He has a goddaughter who would be 3 or 4 at our wedding, but here's the things:
1-We are getting married 4 hours away and silently implying that there be no kids, and everyone (mostly) is fine with it. So how do I have his goddaughter in the BP and everyone else's kids stay home?
2-His goddaughter has a brother....but apparently FI already discussed this with his cousin (the mom) and brother would stay home w/ grandparents.
3-I have a Goddaughter too, but she will only be 14 months old, and she has 2 sisters and a brother who I love to death and would love to have them in the wedding, but that's too much.
4-I don't want ANY kids in the BP, I never did.
So, it seems as if FI wants to have his goddaughter as a flowergirl, but are we stepping on toes, I think we are. I know it would be fine if she were, but what about my goddaughter?
I have tried to just say no because it is more confusion than it is worth, but should I give in and say yes? But then I really want my other babies in there too.
These are 3 of the girls without the brother, infant is my g-child. I LOVE them!
Only you know how the people in your life would react. My first instinct would be to just stick with 'no kids' but if it's important to your FH and you don't think your Godchild's parents would mind their kids being discluded/ or if you wouldn't mind including them all, then go ahead and have kids in the BP. Since you're getting married in Lake George, I would really think it would be easier for everyone to leave their kids at home and enjoy an adult-only weekend. JMHO
brooklynbridezilla
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Re: Ho do I say No?!
I have a similar situation. But our BP consists of my MOH (my sister) FH's two brothers and my brother as GM's. No BM's other Gm's, ushers flower girls, etc. One of Fh's cousins is dying to be a flower girl, but if we make an exception and allow her into the BP, the other kids and their parents would be really pissed off.We just told her very gently that there isnt going to be a flower girl. She forgot it pretty quickly. I'd keep the rule all or nothing, if you start making exceptions, then everyone who was excluded gets upset, instead of just one.
curliegirl
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Re: Ho do I say No?!
'I'd keep the rule all or nothing, if you start making exceptions, then everyone who was excluded gets upset, instead of just one. '
I have to agree, thanks..
shamrock12472
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Re: Ho do I say No?!
It's your wedding so the decision is really up to you but keep in mind this is fh's wedding too. If it is important to have his gd in the wedding party, you have to consider that. Also, just because there are children in the wedding party doesn't mean that everyone will expect to bring their children. I had 6 little ones in my bp ranging from 18 months to 11 years old. I wouldn't of had it any other way. They mean so much to mean and I was so happy that they could be a part of my special day. They now have that memory for the rest of their lives. Also remember, the parents thought so much of you two that they asked you to be godparents. That is such a compliment. You may want to think this over a little bit and, you could have them in the bp but not at the reception. I posted a pic of my little niece at my wedding... she is just precious!
If this helps at all... I didn't have to deal with the children at all. They were all so well behaved and I ended up having about 12 little guys at the reception. Plus, watching them dance is priceless!
curliegirl
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Re: Ho do I say No?!
You are killing me!!!
shamrock12472
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Re: Ho do I say No?!
I'm sorry ... It was just so important to me that I don't want you to be kind of on the fence and then regret it because it is too late. But I'll stop now - make the decision that makes you happy! That is the most important thing.
May05Bride
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Re: Ho do I say No?!
I think you should put them all in! It would be such an ADORABLE bridal party! And, than you would have them in the wedding pics... If you love them as much as you say, I think it'll be the best to have them in your wedding album.
cjb88
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Re: Ho do I say No?!
I'm having 6 flower girls (age 7 to 16 months) an 1 ring bearer!
However, I highly doubt they will be staying up for the entire reception... most likely we will get a babysitter for them, so the parents can have some fun!
I say put them all in... how can you choose between adorable children that you LOVE?? Think how cute the pics will be...
FTRBRIDE
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Re: Ho do I say No?!
We made it clear from the beginning that there will be no children at the wedding EXCEPT the those who are in the wedding party. everybody completely understood except for 1 person- FH's cousin- and to be honest, after she didn't invite us to her wedding (which was large), I don't see where she even gets off being mad about us only inviting her and her husband.
LFitzy79
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Re: Ho do I say No?!
I agree with everything that has been previously posted..you can't have one without all the others... tell him how you feel-that it's killing you not to have the little ones you love there.....try to come up with a third option....like having all the kids at the ceremony, but hiring a babysitter to take them back to the hotel/home afterwards.....
CubanBride
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Re: Ho do I say No?!
That all or nothing stuff is garbage in my opinion. It you and FH's wedding and if you would like to have certain kids but not others, thati s fine. But you need to consider his feelings too. It's obviously important to him.
eogara
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Re: Ho do I say No?!
If you can set a fairly strict guideline, I think you're fine. What about having his goddaughter and your goddaughter as the FGs and that's it? I don't think that's so crazy, they're in the BP. Our guideline was only our nieces and nephews at the reception (there are 2 exceptions to this but they are truly exceptions). As far as the BP goes, FH only has one niece so she's one of the FGs. On my side, I have 8 nieces and nephews, I could not ask them all to be in it. So, we just went with the youngest boy and the youngest girl (which works out well 'cause they're two of the cutest anyway) as the other FG and ring bearer.
As long as it's not an arbitrary decision (I like this one, not that one, not that one, but yeah, that one), I think you're fine.
kissy27
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Re: Ho do I say No?!
We had a similiar situation with wanting no kids...We have too many that are in the same age range (we had a baby boom in our families in 2003) I am very close with my cousin who had a daughter in march 03. He is not very close with his own brother, so i took on the role of an aunt to his daughter...I could not imagine my wedding without her. I discussed this with FH & he was not happy bc we were excluding his families babies...After a couple discussions, he realized that her being there was a something I really wanted & he stopped giving me a hard time. So, she will be the only child at the wedding & I informed everyone in the family...Don't worry about stepping on anyone's toes..This is your wedding & you have to do what you & Fh want to do no matter the circumstances...
JMHO
divabride
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Re: Ho do I say No?!
I was also in a similar situation. I have entirely too many children in my family. But 4 boys in particular are spawn of hades. Anyway, we determined early on that to be fair we wouldnt invite any children to the wedding. The only exception would be the kids in the bridal party that consist of our two nephews (ring boys) and our twin neice and nephew (jr bm & gm). That way are able to have the children most special to us there without stepping on anyones toes.
Thumballina
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Re: Ho do I say No?!
I have my cosins little girl - who I ABSOLUTELY love and am close to that I would love to be my FG. However. FH has his cousins little girl who he thinks is the most precious thing (and she is) but she has three older brothers and sisters. We said no kids to the wedding, so its not fair to have fg's either because of the siblings situation and then that just stems to other cousins getting offended that their children can't come.
marymoon
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Re: Ho do I say No?!
maybe you can decide on some kids to have in the BP and then have someone babysit them at the hotel during the reception,t hat way no one feels shafted.
