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HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE

B22 Posted:

HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE

is it TERRIBLE of me to have my bridal shower the weekend before my wedding?

for those that might have been living under a rock and dont know my situation:
I just started planning my wedding a month ago... and decided to get married this sept. so we dont have much to play with.

my FSIL just moved to CO and cant really afford to fly in for my bridal shower AND the weedding, so if I have it the wknd before i could accmodate her.

and, i wouldnt mind having a little more time to register etc...

is it TOTALLY rude to expect people to travel to queens (FH's family is in NJ) 2 weekends in a row??

help help help
NY031978 Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE

i dont think its rude...but it may be tight on your BP to do a shower for you then the wedding 1 week later. Nevermind you also have your RD that week.

Also Id think if ppl have to travel in for both...they may skip the shower and just do the wedding.


What about a BP....are you doing that?

All i know for my wedding there was no way the week before would work for me bc we had tons to do for the wedding itself!
Bride4Mike07 Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE

I don't see anything wrong w/ it. My shower is the 6th, I'm getting married the 8th..... I really wanted all the girls in my BP to be able to be at my shower so I told my sis to pick a date within that time frame. If I were you, I would pick one weekend when your family would be here...and have it then....GL to u.
B22 Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE


Posted by NY031978

i dont think its rude...but it may be tight on your BP to do a shower for you then the wedding 1 week later. Nevermind you also have your RD that week.

Also Id think if ppl have to travel in for both...they may skip the shower and just do the wedding.


What about a BP....are you doing that?

All i know for my wedding there was no way the week before would work for me bc we had tons to do for the wedding itself!



i *might* have a BP. I dont really care to. but we might do it the same wknd to accomodate FSIL. My parents own a house in the hamptons and i really just wanted to go to the wineries with my closest friends... nothing major or wild. I spent enough of my life partying... im not too eager to have a crazy BP. if we do, maybe having it the friday before. My FH is having his that wknd... and my Bridesmaids are all sisters... only a few close friends would come too and they are always up for spontinaity.
B22 Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE


Posted by Bride4Mike07

I don't see anything wrong w/ it. My shower is the 6th, I'm getting married the 8th..... I really wanted all the girls in my BP to be able to be at my shower so I told my sis to pick a date within that time frame. If I were you, I would pick one weekend when your family would be here...and have it then....GL to u.



ooooh that makes me feel so much better to know people actually have them close.

my sisters live in MD & VA but they are both on maternity leave so they can probably come up the wknd before easier than in the middle of the summer. my other bridesmaid is in NJ and FSIL is in CO.

My friends are local, of course... family is in queens... FH's family is in NJ but not more than an hour away.

i could care less if people dont attend, i just want them to feel they CAN without being inconvenienced. i have such a large family it will be well populated regardless.
NY031978 Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE

so a BP, shower, RD and wedding in 1 week?!

Seems like alot of expense to me...but if your BP can swing it and they have no issues doing it...I say go for it!

Maybe even spread the word that the shower is the week before just so ppl have time to save (if $ is a factor for any guests)


I def think you should have a shower...dont not have 1 bc you are planning a wedding so close to date....thats something you will regret later!
bonitachyc Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE

i'd do it i don't care i rule the world anyway, what's a week extra? kidding! but if it's easier on your sis, and it's not gonna be disastrous for everyone else, i say do it!
B22 Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE


Posted by NY031978

so a BP, shower, RD and wedding in 1 week?!

Seems like alot of expense to me...but if your BP can swing it and they have no issues doing it...I say go for it!

Maybe even spread the word that the shower is the week before just so ppl have time to save (if $ is a factor for any guests)


I def think you should have a shower...dont not have 1 bc you are planning a wedding so close to date....thats something you will regret later!



moneys not really an issue b/c FFIL is paying for the RD which is the night before the wedding and we're all staying in a hotel... and mymother is paying for the bridal shower. ugh-- i just dont know.

i just had my sisters and my SIL's baby showers so im just used to these things... its like second nature to me by now lol
B22 Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE


Posted by bonitachyc

i'd do it i don't care i rule the world anyway, what's a week extra? kidding! but if it's easier on your sis, and it's not gonna be disastrous for everyone else, i say do it!



[sn0rt]
Bride2B7707 Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE

dancerandchef Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE

I think that it would be perfectly fine. I do not see any problems in having your bridal shower a week before your wedding.

~dancer~
charlotte
HelenZ Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE

well honestly you know your family and FH's family best, so do you think you'd be hearing a lot of grunting and groaning about it?? or more importantly would it bother you??

sometimes dates just work out the way they do, and if not everyone can make it, then so be it!!

My sister planned her wedding in about 3 months, and we did not have a lot of time to plan things....she got married June 26th (tomorrow's her 3 yr anniversary! yay!)...her bridal shower was June 5th, BP on June 19th (the weekend before) and RD June 24th. Was it tight?? Absolutely!! Did some of my family who live 3 hours away upstate make it to both the shower & wedding.....yes they did!! If that's the only date you can do, then go for it....but if you're concerned about your guests being inconvenienced, then maybe try for 2 weeks before the wedding just to make it a little easier? good luck!
mskittynj Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE

Honey I honestly think it's a bit too close together. I say have your shower 3 to 4 weeks before your wedding and 3 weeks is pushing it I think. Whoever comes, comes whoever can't make it I'm sure will send you a present. Good luck with your planning!!!
XOXOXO
Kitty
shelby34 Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE

I don't think it's rude... it's your wedding and you are trying to accomodate close family. I think it's fine.

Pencils Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE

It's not terrible, but it might be difficult and you might not get as many people there if it were earlier. OTOH, mine was only two weeks before my wedding. Just worked out that way, was the only available date. Pretty much everyone invited came, unless they had a previous engagement, no one didn't come because it was too close to the wedding, as far as I know.

If it's the only date, then it's the only date, what can you do? Don't go without a shower. There was a lot of going back and forth about whether I would have one, and in the end I'm really glad I did, it was a great time, and it allowed people from both sides of the family to meet for the first time. Then they saw them again at the rehearsal dinner (some of them) and people were old friends by the wedding. I think it all worked out pretty well!
B22 Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE

thanks for all your help ladies.

jayandjenny Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE

I don't know if it's rude, but I think it might be a little hectic for you that week. Who's throwing the shower and what do they think?

B22 Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE


Posted by jayandjenny

I don't know if it's rude, but I think it might be a little hectic for you that week. Who's throwing the shower and what do they think?



at this point my mother is spearheading it. However, i feel like im bothering her trying to set a date. she is in MD with my sister who just had her first baby so things are busy... i called last night about it, b/c FSIL keeps calling me asking if she should book a flight etc etc .

last night mom said if i wanted it the week before, she'd do it. she thinks its too close to the wedding but understands i want to accomodate FSIL... we have such a big family, not everyone comes to the shower anyways...but even with SOME of my relatives, it will be a nice size party.

im just really sad and frustrated that im dealing with this. i planned both my sisters and SIL's showers which were surprises. Im feeling a little bad that the same isnt being done for me.

BUT.. its my fault for moving the wedding up... and they just had babies, so its understandable that no one cares about my wedding lol.

znycgirl Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE

Nah...It'll be OK. Jut be ready for the fact that some of those may not come to your shower. I'm having a BP the week before (during the weekend) and it was perfect time...everyone could make it. I never did have a shower.
B22 Posted:

Re: HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE


Posted by znycgirl

Nah...It'll be OK. Jut be ready for the fact that some of those may not come to your shower. I'm having a BP the week before (during the weekend) and it was perfect time...everyone could make it. I never did have a shower.



I plan on doing the BP that weekend. We always did the BP for my sisters the wknd before. I might not even have a BP if I do the shower that wknd,

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