honest opinions.... so upset

I have an issue with my best friend of 15+years, who is also my MOH.
She is engaged and just had a baby in Feb. She had no wedding plans started except that she wanted to have a wedding next May or June 2012. Awesome!
So the other day she texts me, 'If we went to Vegas to get married, would u go?'
So Im assuming this is next year, so i respond, 'sure!!!'
She then tells me shes thinking Aug/or Sept. Again I assume, 2012.
Its not, its this year, Aug/Sept, 2011 !!!
So I say to her um... hi, im getting married 1-2 mos from then, my shower, bach party, not to mention financial reasons and leaving town at that time.
She was like 'yeah i figured that'
So now she is fine with getting married, without one of her best closest friends there, when she can do it anytime, anywhere... I let her know I was hurt she would do that and she doesnt seem to care. We had it out the other night and havent spoken since.
She says im being ridic and didnt wanna hear anything i had to say. She said its not all about me.
I am honestly hurt that she would choose to do this right before my wedding. I am not in any way a selfish person, but feel that at this time, it should be about me and my wedding, when its 2 months away and u just decided to do this on a whim. I think its poor choice of timing and isnt right.
What do you girls think? Am i being crazy and ridic? Please be honest, i can take it...
So so long!
thanks for listening...
xoxo Randi

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Posted by harts2976

I don't think it is wrong to get married 2 months before you considering she has a baby and its probably important to her. BUTTT for her to expect you to go away before your wedding for hers is insane. There is no way i would go if i were you!

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this, exactly. it's one thing to get married a couple months before you, but another to not take into consideration that one of her closest friends wouldn't be able to make it...

What I have learned from wedding planning....
You get ONE day....people around you can't stop their lives and put their plans on hold because it's YOUR wedding.
If she feels like getting married 2 months before your wedding in Vegas, so be it. It sucks, but it is her choice, and remember she can have her day as well!!

I can totally understand where you're coming from...Im sure you want to be a part of her special day, esp since she's such a big part of yours, and I can completely see how you would be upset and devastated with the way this situation is unfolding.

This being said, there is, unfortunately, little that you can do about it. You've expressed your thoughts and feelings to her, but now it's up to her to decide on how she will proceed....

I am sorry this is happening though, and I completely agree with the other girls that said she should not expect you to come to LV, especially since finances will be rough for you, and that's something she should totally sympathize with...

Think about all the money you are asking her to lay out as MOH in the midst of her being a brand new mom with baby expenses - the dress, shoes, etc, plus her involvement in your bachelorette party, shower, and overall wedding planning.

I say wish her well and plan to join her in Vegas for her wedding. I think you might feel bad about it if you don't and there will always be some tension between the two of you because of it. She may not have done things in the traditional order and in the traditional way, but she's excited and happy about her plans nonetheless. Be there for her.

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Posted by ChristineC112

Think about all the money you are asking her to lay out as MOH in the midst of her being a brand new mom with baby expenses - the dress, shoes, etc, plus her involvement in your bachelorette party, shower, and overall wedding planning.

I say wish her well and plan to join her in Vegas for her wedding. I think you might feel bad about it if you don't and there will always be some tension between the two of you because of it. She may not have done things in the traditional order and in the traditional way, but she's excited and happy about her plans nonetheless. Be there for her.

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This.

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Posted by MrsDtoB

What I have learned from wedding planning....
You get ONE day....people around you can't stop their lives and put their plans on hold because it's YOUR wedding.
If she feels like getting married 2 months before your wedding in Vegas, so be it. It sucks, but it is her choice, and remember she can have her day as well!!

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ITA!

Im sorry but its wrong and inconsiderate of her

and even more hurtful that she doesn't care

I had a very similar situation...when I was getting married in June, my bf since i was 13 did the same thing...she said she would get married 2 weeks after me (knowing that i was taking a 2 week hm)
I said, wait, what?? Ill be on my honeymoon for your wedding! she said oh well, at least one of us will get to enjoy one of the weddings!!!!

needless to say I am no longer friends with her

I get that she wants to get married and get that she gets to have her day too...but why would anyone want to share the spotlight with another bride so close to them and how could a friend not care that you wont be a part of her day??!!

ugh, im sorry but its wrong and I feel your pain

there is not much you can do about it...its sad and annoying

and honestly its not about the weddings being so close, its about possibly not being able to be a part of it

im sorry

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Posted by ChristineC112

Think about all the money you are asking her to lay out as MOH in the midst of her being a brand new mom with baby expenses - the dress, shoes, etc, plus her involvement in your bachelorette party, shower, and overall wedding planning.

I say wish her well and plan to join her in Vegas for her wedding. I think you might feel bad about it if you don't and there will always be some tension between the two of you because of it. She may not have done things in the traditional order and in the traditional way, but she's excited and happy about her plans nonetheless. Be there for her.

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this.


sorry your going through this

i appreciate all of your thoughts and opinions girls!!!

I def cannot go to this wedding, financially, for FH and I to go, flights/rooms etc, is just not affordable in any way... it sux and i tried to see where i could pull the $$ from, but its tight as it is...

i am very sad not to be there for my friends wedding. It sux and i dont know what is going to come of all this.



But again I appreciate all of your feedback!!
you girls are the best!!
xoxo

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Posted by LoveyDovey

Im sorry but its wrong and inconsiderate of her

and even more hurtful that she doesn't care

I had a very similar situation...when I was getting married in June, my bf since i was 13 did the same thing...she said she would get married 2 weeks after me (knowing that i was taking a 2 week hm)
I said, wait, what?? Ill be on my honeymoon for your wedding! she said oh well, at least one of us will get to enjoy one of the weddings!!!!

needless to say I am no longer friends with her

I get that she wants to get married and get that she gets to have her day too...but why would anyone want to share the spotlight with another bride so close to them and how could a friend not care that you wont be a part of her day??!!

ugh, im sorry but its wrong and I feel your pain

there is not much you can do about it...its sad and annoying

and honestly its not about the weddings being so close, its about possibly not being able to be a part of it

im sorry

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I agree 100% with this. I think good friends should be able to bend a little so everyone can enjoy everything. She can't wait??

ugh.... that's a sticky situation. honestly, I myself would be really upset over this b/c it's so close to your wedding and this is when the finance situation becomes so important. i think it's a tad bit selfish. i probably wouldn't be so upset if she had it locally but for you to have to spend all that money before your wedding and the fact that she's having it so close to yours is not nice. even with this whole situation, i would try to make it. even if you can't make it, i would try to patch things up with her. that's a really long time to be friends with somebody and let it go down the drain. i'm so sorry that you have to go through this right now

ummmmmm. she is the moh, rightttttttt?!?!?!?
she must have some idea what the expense is like for your wedding, rightttttttt?!?!?

why the F would she do this to?
if she were gettting married here that would be different.

ive been to a vegas wedding and it aint cheap!!!
between flights hotel and going out to celebrate for two would put a big whole in your pocket!!

i understand that she is your moh and friend but i dont think you should put more stress on yourself by going to this wedding.

what does your fh say about this?

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Posted by Rosalind_75


ummmmmm. she is the moh, rightttttttt?!?!?!?
she must have some idea what the expense is like for your wedding, rightttttttt?!?!?

why the F would she do this to?
if she were gettting married here that would be different.

ive been to a vegas wedding and it aint cheap!!!
between flights hotel and going out to celebrate for two would put a big whole in your pocket!!

i understand that she is your moh and friend but i dont think you should put more stress on yourself by going to this wedding.

what does your fh say about this?

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we def arent going. We cant afford it financially or time wise, either way.
FH backs me 100% and said whatever I want to do he is cool with, but def agreed that we cant afford it. And honestly, i dont know dates for showers/bach parties, etc but I know Aug is a def possibility and she doesnt seem to care.
I am not leaving town 2 months b4 my wedding when things have to be done and are going on. She is generally a selfish person, but i never thought it would go this far.
Im annoyed, frustrated and upset
It just bothers me that she would even think this would be cool.