HONEST TOPIC......

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs

the financial responsibility...houses are so expensive and FH wants alot of children

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DEF... TRUE! I THINK IT IS JUST CHANGE IN GENERAL. DON'T GET ME WRONG, I CAN'T WAIT TO MARRY MY FH BUT THIS IS AN EXCITING AND SCARY TIME. IT'S A WEIRD FEELING.

I'm afraid that once it's over I will have a 'post-pardom' like reaction- go into a bit of shock that it's all over- we already live together & have a house- I'm not looking to have children for quite some time- what will it be like after we're married- will it be boring with nothing to look forward to? Just the same as always??? That thought makes me want to wait until 2012 to get married- just so it won't be over!! I'm also afraid of having regrets... planning my wedding but then going to someone elses in a year & thinking I should have done that! There's no going back!!

But at the end of the day... I'm marrying the man of my dreams & whatever my fears are- I know he'll be right next to me to help me get through them. I would rather any fear in the world if I get him at the end of the day!

What scares me the most is that being married isn't going to change how things are right now!!! I'm desperately trying to change the way things are to no avail. I do everything and thensome and I fear that it is only going to get worse after the marriage. I have expressed my feelings many times and I am not the type of person who is girly. If things have to get done then I do them. FH is very lazy. Sometimes I think that I should be the one with the penis. I'm afraid that i'm going to get so worn that I will have a nervous breakdown. I don't even want to imagine what it's like if we have children.

Fh expects me to work full time, have children, clean, cook, do laundry, all that stuff. I tell him that I will do all that but i'm not working. I'm exhausted right now and where is FH? Inside sleeping! Sometimes I think I am just a maid!

I know FH loves me to pieces! Even though I have a strong personality and strong will, a person can only take so much!! Thanks for the vent.

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Posted by gonzo23456

I THINK IT'S GREAT THAT WE CAN VERBALIZE WHAT SCARES US B/C IT ONLY MAKES US STRONGER. I WONDER IF OTHERS ARE AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT WHAT SCARES THEM ABOUT GETTING MARRIED.

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I agree with you 100% its great to have all of you here to help out and make things a little easier and being we are pretty much all going threw the same thing............i think having kids and working cause if i dont work full time then there isnt that 2nd income coming in. i want to be a stay at home mom but i know that way things cost now that thats not going to happen. i cant expect my FH to pay for a house, and all other bills that come with that. its a big step in life to get married and i think that all in it self scared me!

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Posted by SoinLoveRwe2
But at the end of the day... I'm marrying the man of my dreams & whatever my fears are- I know he'll be right next to me to help me get through them. I would rather any fear in the world if I get him at the end of the day!

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WITHOUT A DOUBT! I LOVE WHAT U WROTE!

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs

the financial responsibility...houses are so expensive and FH wants alot of children

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I think this is why i am so hesitant to pick a date and move on to getting married. between the wedding and buying a place to live and both fh and i unsure of our current careers .. i am scared.

hmm well, right now the most scary part is paying for & planning the actual wedding. We already live together, so I'm not worried about any major adjustments. And though I love my FH and can't wait to marry him and know without a doubt that he's the one for me, marriage is just SO final and deep down that's a little scary to think about (but not in a bad way) because of what an awesome commitment it is. Also I know people are going to have all these expectations and start asking, when are you having kids? and that scares me for sure! However, I don't feel nervous about marriage at all (yet!).

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Posted by drpepper318

hmm well, right now the most scary part is paying for & planning the actual wedding. We already live together, so I'm not worried about any major adjustments. And though I love my FH and can't wait to marry him and know without a doubt that he's the one for me, marriage is just SO final and deep down that's a little scary to think about (but not in a bad way) because of what an awesome commitment it is. Also I know people are going to have all these expectations and start asking, when are you having kids? and that scares me for sure! However, I don't feel nervous about marriage at all (yet!).

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GOOD POINTS!

in the short-term... i'm scared of being broke after the wedding... our caterer problem will put us in the red after the wedding.

in the long-term... i'm deadly afraid that my son might have issues with my marriage. don't get me wrong, fh and my son get along well and they love each other (or else i wouldn't even conceive a marriage with fh), but it's just that generic fear of having my son yell 'you're not my father!'

paying for the wedding...

i'm not worried about finances afterwards, finding a house, getting a car, kids, whatever. i know we will do those things when we can afford them and we're already great at paying off debt! we're at the point now where it looks as though my $61,000 in student loans are gonna be paid off in like 2 years (i graduated in may).

i just can't really justify spending a sh|tload of money on a party that's gonna last for a few hours and a dress i'm gonna wear once, etc, etc. - even though i really want it. i'm afraid i'm gonna be 'wasting' our hard earned money and screw ourselves over - and i feel like it's gonna be my fault b/c typically it's the bride that freaks out over this stuff and 'needs' the big wedding. (i'm afraid his mom's gonna blame me for 'wasting' the money - she's already paranoid that i'm gonna make her pay for it as well as my masters [go figure...])

moving far from my family. My FH is a scientist and has to move to where the work is and that is not LI

Good topic!

Honestly, finanaces are NOT my worry. I will spend only what I can so that issue is manageable.

However, divorce is something that can be unpredictable. I love my FI and I know he loves me but... you can't ever be 100% sure about what the future holds. I couldn't imagine spending my life without him... so that's a 'scare'.

Don't get me wrong though... I don't sit around thinking about it... so far so good.

Living with a boy!

Seriously though, I would say being a mom, FH and both want kids so soooo much, and I just hope I can be as good a mom as my mom and FH's mom. Also I don't want to work when our kids are young, and I hope that we can do this financially.