Here's my dilemma......my fiance and his parents purchased a home together just a few months before I met him. He lives there now and I will move in next year.
I've told him that he should not expect me to contribute towards the mortgage payments or repairs since I do not have a interest in the property. I've offered to contribute some of my savings towards the house if I am put on the deed. He rejected this.
I don't feel 'right' living somewhere where I am not contributing anything--I feel like I'm freeloading!- but then again, I am not an owner. I feel that as a couple, we should have something that is 'ours'. I would feel like an outsider living in that house.
Do I have any rights to the property since he acquired it before I met him? Is anyone in a similar situation?
One more thing....FH insists that we call the place 'our' house. If I refer to it as his, he corrects me. Isn't it like adding insult to injury (or whatever that saying is)?
lilqtpie2181
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Re: Housing Situation
u dont have any rights to the property leagally. persoanlly I would not want a property that he has with his parents.. later on down the line that will just lead to some kind of drama. My Fh owns a house with his bro and I refuse to live there. i refuse to live anywhere where family lives too. i wont live with my fam and i wont live with his fam....not becasue i dont like or love them but becasue a vouple should not have anyone getting invloved or being arund when they wants personal space. Believe me what my eyes have seen...ugh... anyway.. Thansk God we are looking for ahouse together but I told him that if something happens and we dont find house b4 the wedding he will rent out his appartment and we will use the money that he gets from the rent to go rent somewhere else. I want to live with FH alone.. not me, Fh and my fam or Me Fh and his fam. Thats just my opinion based on personal experiences. anyhoo..i hope this helped.
dplehat
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Re: Housing Situation
I don't know the answer but was wondering something. Did he say why he didn't want you on the deed. That sounds a little odd to me but then again I'm a suspicous person.
lilqtpie2181
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Posted by dplehat
I don't know the answer but was wondering something. Did he say why he didn't want you on the deed. That sounds a little odd to me but then again I'm a suspicous person.
If it is something he owns with his parents maybe they dont want anyone added to the deed. U never know with these things
AMJA
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I would think you would be added to the deed after your married no? Otherwise I don't see why you should make any contributions either. Because when it comes time to sell that house you legally aren't owed anything. Ask him if he has any plans in the near future to sell and you guys could purchase a home together. He might plan on keeping this w/ his parents as an investment.
shopaholic07
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You totally understand where I am coming from. I didn't mention it before but the house has been divided into two apartments so his sister, her husband and their baby are living in the other apartment. So a visit by FMIL to sister upstairs will lead to a visit to us downstairs.....you get the idea. I really like FIL but I agree, that we need our space...apart from his AND my family. I've told him exactly what I wrote in my earlier post.....he refuses to move or sell his ownership. Because I expressed my strong feelings about this, the one resolution he offered was to ask his parents to buy them out once we are married. However, the price of the house is beyond our means with our current salaries so I don't know how we will make it.
heatherandrichie
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Ugg...that's a tough one. I would NOT want to share my space with anyone except my FH. Good luck
shopaholic07
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He said that it would be 'half-a**ed' to do it that way.....whatever that means.
lilqtpie2181
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Posted by shopaholic07
He said that it would be 'half-a**ed' to do it that way.....whatever that means.
I dunno hun this was a topic tat I started to discuss with FH when we we still just dating in a 'what if' type of manor. at that time I made myself VERY clear about the fact that I would rather live on rent then having drama with inlaws (mine or his) Bottom lineis that u wna tto enjoy ur FH in ur own territory without being scared to argue or do anything that someone might overhear.
HamptonsBride
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Re: Housing Situation
Fh & i are in a similar situation...we live in a house I own with my brothers...FH has helped pay utilities...but doesn't want to invest too much $$ into the house because he has no ownership, which I can understand, but i do expect him to help with utilities since that has no investment into property value and it's a cost of living thing...he says if we buy out my brothers or he is added to the deed than it will be a different story...and I have no issue with that. But he needs to pay something...and if you are going to be living in the house you should at least help out with utilities if you can. I owned the house long before meeting FH if that helps.
shopaholic07
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EXACTLY.....or to wonder if I'm talking too loud or if they can hear the TV.....or even have my FH tell me to talk lower when he knows someone is upstairs.
lilqtpie2181
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Posted by shopaholic07
EXACTLY.....or to wonder if I'm talking too loud or if they can hear the TV.....or even have my FH tell me to talk lower when he knows someone is upstairs.
Good Luck Koukla.. ur in a tuff situation
MnM52607
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Re: Housing Situation
I am not sure about this. I understand why FH wouldn't add you to the deed. He had this house before he met you. If it was his alone, that might be a different story but there are other people involved. I also don't agree with you not contributing at all. You will be living there and using electric, water, gas and so on. If you rented somewhere else, your name wouldn't be on that deed. So just think of it like that.
shopaholic07
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Re: Housing Situation
Why do you think he shouldn't add me to the deed if I'm offering to put $$ towards the mortgage? Why should he reject my offer altogether?
As for my name not being on the deed if we were renting-his name wouldn't be on that deed either.
DNicholes
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Oh wow, this is a toughy! Is your FI opposed to the two of you getting a place of your own and selling his share of the house?
I agree you shouldn't make mortgage payments but once your married won't you and FI have joint accounts? But then again, I agree with above poster that you are using there water,electric..etc.
hmmm
shopaholic07
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Re: Housing Situation
Yes, I proposed that idea to him and he says that he is not selling his interest in the house.
I think it is reasonable to contribute to the utilities so will have a joint account just for that.
MnM52607
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Seriously, maybe his parents don't want to put your name on the deed. This was an investment with their son. If you are put on the deed, and then (GOD FORBID) you get divorced, you can force them to sell. I am not saying you should split the mortgage payment equally, but you should contribute something since you will be living there. Or go get a place of your own with FH.
shopaholic07
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You make a valid point. I didn't think of that (divorce). Unfortunately, FH wants to live there and isn't willing to move.
StarryEyedBride
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You actually don't have any rights, which *****.... THe one thing is- try living there until you guys can find something else b/c sometimes living with FH's parents could be hard. I think it's better for everyone to have their own space. Maybe you guys can work something out.... like if you have an apt off of the house maybe pay some utilities... or a little rent..?? That way you don't feel like a free loader b/c you are paying for exactly what you use. Or maybe pay for groceries for the whole fam.... It's a tough situation...
dante31300
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Re: Housing Situation
I think that it may not be something suspicious. It may be that FH helped the parents get the house maybe the three of them combined were able to purchase the home. Or perhaps one of his parents credit wasn't that great so they used his credit and income to help buy the house. In that case it would make sense that he wouldn't put you on the deed since the house belongs to the family. Would you expect your family to put your FH on the deed of a house, car etc. that they all owned just because you and he decided to get married? It sounds like a business decision and not a personal one to me. I would pay utilities so that everyone who lives in the house will know that you are not just free loading. Eventually you guys will have to look for your own home. I would discuss what his future plans are in terms of owning his OWN house with you, this should be much easier since he already has the first one.
