how can i do it?

my aunt (my mom's sister) was just diagnosed with hodgkin's disease and the whole family is very upset about it...we are a huge family, but we are also very close-knit...

my wedding is in a little over a month....i'm so upset and worried about her that i have lost all enthusiasm associated with planning and even for my actual wedding day...

how can i continue with planning and actually enjoy my wedding when i know my aunt is so ill? i feel like i'm forcing my family to act/be happy when they are all feeling so sad...

i feel so guilty about it...

Re: how can i do it?

Your family needs happy times now. Sometimes happy moments like a wedding is just what the doctor ordered.

Everyone needs to step out of the sad mood for awhile and your wedding will let them do. You know kinda step out of reality.

If you wait it just may get worse.

I am truly sorry for you and your family and your aunt is in my prayers.

good luck
kimberly

Re: how can i do it?

Sometimes in times of sadness, healthy distractions are needed - like planning a wedding. It will also be something good for your family to look forward to. Right now, it seems everyone is in shock, including yourself. But the best thing to do in times such as these, is to think positively. This can only help your aunt. Dwelling on it is inevitable for the time being, but trying to pour your energy (and everyone else too) into your wedding will be really good and healthy for all of you in the long run! Maybe you can try and get your aunt involved in something in the wedding plans to try and keep her mind on something really positive?

Your family is in my thoughts...all the best...

Re: how can i do it?

I'm so sorry to hear of your aunt's illness. Hodgkins and Nonhodgkins lymphoma has hit my family as well. Finding out a loved one is seriously ill is so hard to bear, you feel sad and angry and discouraged and frightened all at once.

Putting all of these emotions aside to plan a wedding is even harder, but it's something you have to do. My uncle was very upset to hear that we considered postponing our wedding b/c he was diagnosed with NHL last year. With his encouragement, we finally decided not to. He's going to do our of the readings at our wedding mass!

Hodgkins generally has a pretty high survival rate. Treatment is usually successful, even if the cancer has spread. Many patients are cured or the cancer is controlled for many years. I urge you and your family to learn all you can about her disease. There are some wonderful support groups out there for families of those diagnosed with cancer.

You are all in my prayers...

Re: how can i do it?

thank you guys so much for your support...if anyone has some information or experiences with treatment and survival i would appreciate it...

Re: how can i do it?

i dont know if you had read any other posts but my mom is seriously ill and doctors gave her a bad prognosis- she has breast cancer that spread to the brain, we had to move my wedding up - i know how hard it is planning a wedding when there is so much sadness, but the wedding has brought my mom such joy lately that nothing else could have. The wedding is keeping her going which maybe the same in your case. A marriage is a happy time and these times keeps hope in those that otherwise have none.

Re: how can i do it?

Don't lose hope. Although this is a difficult time, it is not time for mourning. Your Aunt can now begin treatments that will help you get well and feeling better. Your wedding is going to be a joyous day. IT will probably be one of the few days your family is thinking about something other than her illness. I would keep the plans moving forward and focus on bring everyone together that day. I will keep your family in my prayers.

Re: how can i do it?

I definitely think planning a happy party for everyone is your motivation....

My grandfather had a few heart attacks within 5 months of our wedding...he died 2 weeks before the wedding...while I was crushed that he wouldn't be there (if he last...he probably would not have been able to make it anyway...b/c he was too weak), but the family enjoyed themselves and it was needed...

give your aunt a party she'll never forget...

Re: how can i do it?

My godmother has been diagnosed with the same.

It has been a year, and her symptons are progressing, but I am SSOOOOO very greatful she will be there on our special day. She will have her cane with her for support, as well as being surrounded by those who love her!!

Keep going, and be greatful she can share your day with you!!
It will be a beautiful celebration...enjoy!!