How can I get my mom to stop smoking???

I really want her to stop smoking.....my father is not apart of my life and if something happens to her...I have no parents!

This has really been making me upset lately...I guess with the wedding planning and just thinking about everything!

Hmmmm i totally understand! I tried to get my parents to stop for years....
My mom stoppped and 3 years later got cancer...She is fine now but that made most of the people in my family STOP!

But i guess in the end you can't get someone to stop. They have to want to do it themselves..

But i just don't get why they won't....imo it is just sooo selfish

i can totally relate because i feel the same way. my dad passed away and my mom is all my brother and i have. we want her to quit so badly but my stepfather is a chimney and wouldnt quit with her and she feels its just too hard. she is also afraid of gaining 50 pounds like she did the last time she quit. i keep telling her that i would much rather have her healthy and a few pounds heavier then completely unhealthy and thin. our latest plan is that if she quits we will get her a face lift because the smoking has really taken a toll on her skin.

Well we my Mom was also worried about the weight gain...we have joined WW together to lose weight for my wedding and I feel like she is smoking more

I would be absolutely devastated IF something ever happened to her

Not to be rude here, because this topic is VERY close to my heart, BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING...

They don't want to stop smoking because they don't want to gain weight...OMG i just think that is horrible and it makes me sooo mad. How selfish that is to be afriad of weight gain rather than YOUR LIFE!
I'd rather gain a few pounds and live to see my grandkids than be smoking and dead at a VERY EARLY AGE!

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Posted by oct.2004bride

Not to be rude here, because this topic is VERY close to my heart, BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING...

They don't want to stop smoking because they don't want to gain weight...OMG i just think that is horrible and it makes me sooo mad. How selfish that is to be afriad of weight gain rather than YOUR LIFE!
I'd rather gain a few pounds and live to see my grandkids than be smoking and dead at a VERY EARLY AGE!

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i totally agree and have been begging her for years calling her selfish etc etc but this world has made people so vain and so in need to be thin that some people would rather rather rish there lives then be over weight. it is so awful

i really just don't get it at all...
and these kids today who are already smoking...
i just feel like grabbing one and asking
WHY?

WHY does someone smoke? Why does someone CHOOSE to do this?

i can totally relate too....the prob is that if she doesn't want to, she won't....and even if she does, its also very addictive - nicotine is a drug and people can easily be hooked.

we lost my mil to lung cancer and even before she was diagnosed with it, i tried everything under the sun - unfortunately my fil let her smoke even thorugh chemo, her last cigarette was the morning before she went to the hopsital for the last time, depsite both dh and my objections.....its very diificult b/c they are adults.

even now, my fil (age 74) has taken up smoking cigars even after all the heartbreak we have been through and it kills me. he tries to hide it but i can always smell it out.....i'm like a trained sniffer dog i guess!...we have tried everything with him now too - yelling, crying, everything in between...and he is just stubborn...

my dh, though used to dip (ew!) which i find equally if not more gross....but quit by using a combination of the stop smoking gum (he said orange or mint tasted best - i forget the name now but its always on tv, in magazines, etc!) and fake dip..it wasn't easy but he has been off it for about 5 yrs now so maybe getting her the gum if she wants and some type of fake cigarette would work. how long has she been smoking? it may be not only the niccotine but also the fact that it relaxs her to feel the cigrarette in her mouth. for some people, they also tend to use it as a crutch if they are stressed, so perhaps helping her to find a new 'stress reducer' or coping strategy would work!


sorry to babble.....good luck to you and her!!!

ps - have you pointed out that it seems like she smokes more since joining ww? she might not even be aware. if she is willing to, you might try to taper her off them, meaning she gets 6 a day, then 5, then 4, etc over time until she is done with them!

Smokers that are in denial really aggrevate me! my FIL is like that. He had a throat cancer scare years ago, and yet the second he found out it wasn't he went back to smoking. He has asthma too, and sometimes has to use a breathing machine... but if you say anything to him he says the doctor told him his lungs are perfectly fine and if anything is hurting him its living on the service road of the LIE. BULLSH*T!!!! And his doc also says he doesn't have to quit smoking. So either he's a pathological liar (which I know he is) or his doctor is a moron (which i think is also true). This is just one reason I hate the man.

DH's grandmother was an even heavier smoker, and one day she just threw the cigs out and never smoked again. So those people that say they just can't quit just don't want to quit. And thats fine, but don't try and tell me it's not bad for you.

sorry it's also a sore spot for me as well. And I was a smoker so I have the right to b*tch! LOL

It's very common for a dieting smoker to smoke more. Smoking when you're hungry curbs your appetite, albeit very briefly.

Smokers tend to eat when they can't have a cigarette. So.... right now she's focusing on the fact that she can't really be munching out whenever she wants, so she smokes more.

There is nothing you can say to her to make her quit. She has to want to and it's very difficult for a smoker to see that they don't really WANT to smoke, it's their nicotine addiction that keeps them smoking. It took me a long time to learn this. You probably hear this alot from your Mom 'but I really enjoy smoking!' So not true.

My suggestion is this. Go to quitnet.org and read up on quitting, and pass on the good info to her: like that it only takes 72 hrs for the nicotine to be completely flushed out of your system. Find people you both know that have quit and have them talk to her about how great it is to be a non-smoker - because it really is... it is SOOOO liberating to quit smoking -- but you can't see that when you are a smoker. All you can think about is the difficulties of withdrawal. There are many different types of nicotine junkies, you have to try and find out which type your mom is and play up her strengths to that. Quitters need lots of support and encouragement around them.

Good luck.

Thanks everyone!

We tried to get my father to stop and it was almost impossible. He got in a huge fight with my brother about it, but at least the fight got him to smoke outside the house. He didn't quit until he started having heart problems and had to give it up. Some people won't quit until their life depends on them quitting and even then some people still won't stop.

My mom smoked for 40 years. She tried several times and couldn't quit. She knew I wasn't pleased about her smoking, but I never tried to make her quit. I did tell her that I would not buy cigarettes for her.

About 3 years ago, she called me and said she had quit cold turkey. She hasn't had one since. She was finally ready to quit.

You can't force someone to quit. It is something they need to do for themselves.

I've tried subtle hints like when my mom makes reference to the grandchildren she doesn't have yet, I'll say why does it matter, it's not like you'll be around to see them grow up! Mean, I know but whatever works. As soon as I get pregnant I plan on giving her an ultimatum, 'if you couldn't do it for your kids, maybe you'll do it for your grandkids so they'll know their grandmother when they grow up!'

My mother blames it on stress.