Im very confused about who to include and reasons why to include them... ie. the girl im thinking of foir MOH is the daughter of my fathers best friend who I grew up with...her and I are 100% completely different from each other, Im a 'target store' personality and she is a 'sacs fifth avenue' personality (does that make sense)...we dont really talk all that much...which is why im confused about having her as MOH.
I originally wanted my two cousins to both be my MOH's but on will be 16 at the time of my wedding and the other will be 20...which IMO makes them WAY too young for MOH responisbilites.... Also FMIL and the family is pressuring me to make my FH's sister a bridesmaid...she will be 12 by the time we get married...I dont really want her as a full fledged bridesmaid...
Sorry girls for the long post but I just dont know what to do and how to figure all this out...any help you can give or opinions I will appreciate...TIA
jgl
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Re: how did you choose...
if you dont talk to her that much.. why would you make her your MOH? your MOH should be someone youare close with. I choose my sister even though she is younger than me I am 28 she is 20.
I tried to choose people who I was close with and i tried to stick with more family than anything else. I feel my family is my family and freinds come and go and i dont think i want pics of peopl ein my wedding pics who i will later not be friends with
I chose my sister - she is 20, my cousin - she is in her late 30's, FHs ousin (who i am very close with)- she is 21, and one of my really close friends.
If you are close with your 20 year old cousin you can def have her in your BP!!! my sister will be 21 when we get married.
rocketsummer17
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Re: how did you choose...
Forgot to add this...but I am an only child and have only 2 cousins (who right now are 16 and 14)...im just confused bc I dont have many friends, and I dont really know my girlfriends for longer than 1 year each....
ratherbealeper
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Re: how did you choose...
I chose my FSIL to be my MOH because my brother had to be my FH's best man (in the greek church its a special role and rather than have multiple roles we decided to keep it to family.) I am not super close with my FSIL but i like the idea of family. My 2 other BM are the closest thing to sisters... i've known other people longer but I am very close.
FH chose only my brother and his own brother rather than just 'filling spots'.
Honestly, pick people based on who you can work with and with whom you wanna share your day... dont worry about it being a guy or a girl or the sides being even...
good luck
DiamondPipa
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Re: how did you choose...
We picked one of FH's best friend's and his wife to do the religious thing and I picked my MOH b/c I was friends with her longer than anyone of my other close friends.
you should pick whoever you feel comfortable picking, regardless of age. i'm sure the parents will be paying the expenses and taking care of the 'duties' if you pick the younger girls.
good luck.
p.s. i did not put FH's sister in the wedding and felt absolutely no obligation to do so. I'm really upset I couldn't put my bro & his fiance though
PegaLega
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Re: how did you choose...
I picked my MOH as my MOH b/c out of all the girls she is the one I was closest with and had always been there. But I will say I had a 2 1/2 year engagement and wish I had waited longer to ask. Your wedding is in 2 years and some months-I would wait...you will be amazed how people act when it comes to wedding planning. I wish I could have changed thing around and bounced people out and not asked certain people. But it was too late. I bounced one girl out and still havent heard the end of it. I woudl truly consider waiting
If I was you I would make the 20 year old cousing your MOH, the 16 year old and the 12 year old junior bridesmaids and the daughter of your fathers best friend a regular BM. You MOH should be someone you can rely on to help you and be there for you when you need.
zoe282
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Re: how did you choose...
It's really who you want to stand up there with you and who you think will offer you the support you need through out this process. Don't feel like you 'have' to put anyone in...if it's only 1 person that's fine too. I have my sister as my MOH, 2 friends who I have known since I was 7, 2 friends who are sorority sisters, and my FSIL. I look at them all as family
MsPotterhead
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Re: how did you choose...
I agree with everyone, no need to rush the decision, you have plenty of time. Your MOH should be someone you love. If you are not close with her anymore, I wouldn't choose her as your maid of honor. If you don't want to have a bridal party at all, you don't have to. My sister had a small wedding, and there was no bridal party,and it was beautiful.
EJSD2006
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Re: how did you choose...
i have 3 sisters and 1 was my MOH and the other 2 were BM's. then i had SIL and 2 of my oldest friends. thats it....i didnt want a huge bridal party. just family and those i consider family!
MnM52607
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Re: how did you choose...
I picked my sister as my MOH and wouldn't have had it any other way. She was only 18 going to be 19. I don't think that is too young for MOH responsibilities. The only thing, I had to make sure whatever we did for my bachelorette party, she would be able to attend.
Then for my bridesmaids, I chose 3 of my cousins, and 2 of my best friends. I had my cousin's daughters as Junior Bridesmaids and Flowergirls.
It really wasn't that hard for me to chose.
dewdrop
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Re: how did you choose...
rock paper scissors
i kid.
but seriously, i chose my sister as my maid of honor and my closest girlfriend as my matron of honor. my fh did not want a bridal party, so we're keeping it small... later that month i asked my niece to be my junior bridesmaid. she's 12 and her parents (my brother) are separated and i just wanted to do something for her to pull her out of that mind frame. and she's really special to me...as are her parents.
DeannaNDave07
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Re: how did you choose...
my sister is a matron and youngest sister is my MOH. i would have it no other way..
basically the BM are all friends of mine.
stonepondbabe
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Re: how did you choose...
I had my 2 cousins who might was well be mysisters, and my best friend since I was 4. The other 2 girls I chose represented other phases of my life, my best friend from elementary school who I am still close too (although not like then) and a mutual friend of DH and I from college. Then the elementary friend dropped out because she was preggo! and I chose my best friend from college, who had also stepped up and been helpful through the planning.
You choose who you want to have standing there to suport you. I bet a few girls pop right into your head!
tlp123
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Re: how did you choose...
I actually have everyone as Bridesmaid, no MOH, to avoid any type of conflict.
jencee73
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Re: how did you choose...
your bridesmaids and MOH?
My MOH is one of my best friends and I was her MOH at her first wedding and I'm also godmother to her first born. I had 3 bridesmaids - 1 is my only cousin on my mother's side and the other 2 are my other best friends. I'm an only child as well and my 3 best friends I consider my surrogate sisters.
nifheim
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Re: how did you choose...
bridesmaids and MOH?
I don't have any solid female friends so I choose my best friend for over 10 years Dave to be my mon of honor. I really feel this should be someone you have known for a long time/good friends or a very close family member.
Bridesmaids was pretty much who i knew wanted to be apart of the wedding who i knew would be apart of my life after the wedding so therefore i choose family. As i said i have pretty much no female friends and i didn't want all men up there so family was the best choice.
PattyK
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Re: how did you choose...
DH & I wanted our bridal party to be family. So that made it easier for us. I had my sister as my MOH, a life long friend (like another sister) and his 3 sisters as BM's.
You have plenty of time before your wedding to chose your MOH and your BM's. If I were in your shoes, I would probably ask my 20 yeard old cousin to be my MOH, the two younger girls to be Junior BM's and the friend to be a regular BM.
ML110
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Re: how did you choose...
i wouldn't pick your dads friends daughter as your MOH... it just doesn't sound like you're close enough to her. i would pick your 20 year old cousin, because it sounds like you are close to her, and 20 is old enough to handle the responsibilties, and i'm sure her parents and your mom will help her out with planning the shower and all that...
for me, i picked my sister as my MOH. i also have a good friend since i was 8 who i consider another sister, so i almost had her as MOH, but i decided that my sister was actual fmaily, so it should go to her so i had my my sister as my MOH, and 3 friends as BMs. 2 of the BMs i hadn't known all that long ( one was DHs best friends girlfriend (the 4 of us are close went on vacation a few times together and go out together a lot), and the other was DH best 'girl' friend from HS.
missK
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Re: how did you choose...
My only advise is from what I did. I made my choice way too soon and with the wrong people for the wrong reasons. I do regret the decision I made with one of my girls and now its too late to un-ask (if that is a word) , dresses are ordered and now its too late. Shes my god daughters mother and and while I was close to her once we are not the friends we once were. I am sure that I will not talk to her after the wedding and that stinks.
bluegreen08
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Re: how did you choose...
I have one sis, so she's my MOH. She's 20 now but will be 21 by the time of the wedding.
I probably should have waited longer to ask my BMs, but I couldnt help it. I asked my best friend from college, and then my 2 best friends from home (friends from HS who I still keep in touch with). I did end up asking the third girl from our group (who I am not as close with) out of obligation, because I was afraid it would lead to a lot of hard feelings and drama if I asked the other 2 without her. That girl ended up declining because she doesn't have the $$, which worked out perfectly for me because she would have been a flaky BM. I then asked my one female cousin (who will be 17) who I had been thinking about asking from the beginning.
I'd ask who you want, not who you think you should. I can imagine it would be pretty stressful if that other girl said yes.
