how do i ask about our HM gift?*update*

here's a sticky subject....sort of.

my sister-in-law (brother's wife) offered to 'take care of our honeymoon' in an email last august. she & my brother are separated and so she said not to say anything to him yet, but it would be from the both of them. she said 'just buy your plane tickets and we'll take care of the rest'.

we talk all the time, mostly through email and she lives in another state. she hasn't brought it up again since though. i don't know how to bring it up to her either because it's a gift and i didn't expect it. i just want to plan things to do close to where we'll be staying in barcelona....

how would you bring it up?


***update***
i wrote an email & just asked if her offer still stood & she said OF COURSE!!!! she won't tell me the details until our wedding day though...? but that she's giving us this book & a map on my shower.

so uncomfortable, cuz i'm a planner & she knows it, but oddly excited by the surprise element. i feel like i'm going blind folded, which is kinda cool.

Holy awkward situation batman....

Its awfully close to the wedding at this point, so I'm thinking if the gift is from both of them, your brother would be aware of it (and if not, he should know about it at this point, right?); would it be possible to verify she did something by asking him?

Otherwise, since it sounds like you have a great relationship with her, why not just tactfully address it by email, something like...
Exciting news, we booked our plane tickets!! we're departing at 6pm on 2/9/08 and arriving in Barcelona at 6am on the morning of Feb 10th...

I know you mentioned a while ago that you and '(brother)' would like to do something toward our honeymoon as a gift, which is SOOOO nice of you, i'm just wondering if that's still what you want to do, and if so, should I get a few recommendations from my travel agent for where to stay, what to do, etc?
Let me know what you think...

and wrap it up

No way around it, its still awkward, but I think since its so close you really need to know in order to book something on your own if necessary. GOOD LUCK!!!!

awh, thanks guys. i did just send her an email and just gave her a run down of things i'm in the middle of getting done, wedding-wise. i mentioned the fact that we found a great website with all these things to do while we're down there and now i'm just hoping she says something.

i think your idea is great too...in a non-expecting way, is this something you still want to do for us.

thanks again ladies! i'll let you know how it goes.

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Posted by JayLi2007

I would NOT say ANYTHING. I had a similar situation with something else wedding related. If people want to fulfill their offer they will ask you. I think that people shouldn't promise things and then not follow through, but still, you should not say anything IMO.

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I can definitely see the point, and in fact I was tempted to say 'DONT' but given the fact that its a) a seemingly very good relationship and b) an offer that would need to be fulfilled VERY soon if it has not been already... I think its best for the nearlyweds to confirm it (allowing time to book something else, with no hard feelings, etc. if the original offer is no longer going to be fulfilled.)

I think its different if she said, oh, we're going to buy you your china, or pots and pans - and then didn't come through. You can't really risk having no honeymoon hotel, and with 3 months to go, now's the time to sort that out for Barcelona, so I think a tactful inquiry would help prevent future drama?

People are just weird anyway though, she may be really insulted to even be questioned, I hope NOT, but I honestly dont know what's up with people around weddings sometimes!!!

yes!

relieved indeed. thanks again