how do I get FH to discuss the wedding with his parents? (long, sorry)
FH is driving me nuts.
Basically, here's the story:
FILs offered to pay for photography for us months ago. He relayed this message to me. At the time we weren't ready to book photo, so we didn't discuss it with them.
We are now ready to book photo, we've chosen a photographer, and I have asked him to hold the date until we can get over there and sign the contract. He has agreed. That was probably almost a week ago.
I have been asking FH for WEEKS to talk to his parents about this, to ask them how they want to handle it, if they need to come with us to meet him or if they will just give us the check, etc. He refuses to do so! He keeps saying that he 'forgot' (sure), and then he'll say that he can't talk to them about it and he needs me to go with him to talk to them. The problem with that is that it's really hard to get all 4 of us in the same place at once... and in the meantime I have the photographer calling me (very politely) and asking if we're ready yet. And I don't blame him - he's being really nice by hanging onto the date for us, and we really need to get him the deposit!
Arg. I'm going to try to get over there tomorrow and have the talk with his parents, but it is RIDICULOUS that he isn't capable of having this discussion with them himself. and it's not like I'M all that comfortable discussing money with them either. In the end, it's really not right to make me do that, for their sake and mine, because they are going to be less comfortable discussing any concerns about the expense in front of me. They are very proud people, and it would be really hard for them to say that they don't have the money in front of me, if that turns out to be the case.
And if this is any indicator of how it's going to be to deal with his parents in the future (and who is going to be responsible for it), then that is NOT okay with me. I know that by marrying we share each other's families, but in the end, it is HIS family and he needs to be able to deal with them.
Basically, here's the story:
FILs offered to pay for photography for us months ago. He relayed this message to me. At the time we weren't ready to book photo, so we didn't discuss it with them.
We are now ready to book photo, we've chosen a photographer, and I have asked him to hold the date until we can get over there and sign the contract. He has agreed. That was probably almost a week ago.
I have been asking FH for WEEKS to talk to his parents about this, to ask them how they want to handle it, if they need to come with us to meet him or if they will just give us the check, etc. He refuses to do so! He keeps saying that he 'forgot' (sure), and then he'll say that he can't talk to them about it and he needs me to go with him to talk to them. The problem with that is that it's really hard to get all 4 of us in the same place at once... and in the meantime I have the photographer calling me (very politely) and asking if we're ready yet. And I don't blame him - he's being really nice by hanging onto the date for us, and we really need to get him the deposit!
Arg. I'm going to try to get over there tomorrow and have the talk with his parents, but it is RIDICULOUS that he isn't capable of having this discussion with them himself. and it's not like I'M all that comfortable discussing money with them either. In the end, it's really not right to make me do that, for their sake and mine, because they are going to be less comfortable discussing any concerns about the expense in front of me. They are very proud people, and it would be really hard for them to say that they don't have the money in front of me, if that turns out to be the case.
And if this is any indicator of how it's going to be to deal with his parents in the future (and who is going to be responsible for it), then that is NOT okay with me. I know that by marrying we share each other's families, but in the end, it is HIS family and he needs to be able to deal with them.
