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How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

Anniegrl Posted:

How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

I feel really weird about this. Even though we live together, we have separate bank accounts right now but of course we'll combine them once we get married.
It's going to be strange going out and buying things, clothes, whatever, and feeling like I'm spending part of FH's money. He's very tight with money, and I don't want to feel guilty if I go out and buy a $100 pair of pants! I know that it's my money too, because we both work, and make close to the same salary, but it's going to be so strange.......

NYCHICK Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

One of those married things we'll have to get adjusted to. An alternative is to separate checking account and combine your saving?
ChristineC68 Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

I feel the same way.

I actually kept my personal account for incidentals and spending money but most of my paycheck goes to our joint account for bills, expenses & savings. I don't have anything to hide, but I don't like the feeling of having to let him know I took money out of the account.
Anniegrl Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

Hmmmm....that's a good idea. I also don't want him to know how much money I'm spending on gifts for him, so if I had my own checking account, that would work.

luvsun27 Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

We currently live togother...and I handle the money. FH has his paycheck partly direct deposited into my account...and the rest goes for child support and his allowance. He has one credit card...with a very low credit limit, so for my birthday he used that...but then I get to pay the bill :)

I'm sure you will work something out that you are both comfortable. It will take some time to get used to things being 'our money' not 'his money' and 'your money'.
MindyL28 Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

I am in the same boat as you! We are still discussing how we're going to do this, actually. We live together and have separate accounts and we do our banking differently- he is a careful balancer of his checkbook and I pretty much do all my banking on line. We are still trying to figure things out. It's hard when one person makes more than the other because you feel strange about spending- eventhough you know it's your money too. If anyone has a good suggestion on how to do this, I'd love to hear it!

MarcellaBella Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

why can't you just open up a joint account and KEEP your personal accounts?

that's what we did.. we just linked all of our accts. but we still have reign over our accts. you know?
Ang&Rich Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

I agree - it seems strange and in the end it either works or it doesn't. My FH and I shared a joint checking account right after school. We were both working and we were looking to buy our co-op. It worked for us but we got a lot of comments about it. When we actually bought the co-op we joined our savings accounts and got even more comments about it. For us though, we were okay with it. For a while I was making more than him but now he makes more than me. In the end it's still our money so there is no back and forth about it. He can be a little to 'tight' with money and he never buys anything for himself where as I am a shopaholic. But we make it work...my best advice is to seriously sit down and discuss this. What do each of you expect once the accounts are joined - what do you expect individually of yourselves and of each other. Talk about situations where you buy $100 pants and what the feeling will be.
MCDO15 Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

Beling a guy and doing the bills and what not, i don't understand how you can save and make sure things are paid unless it's done together. we shared money since she moved in 4 yrs ago...already financed a car together at 3 yrs together... We know when we can buy something not planned but we also know when we can't due to speical events (like a wedding). The part about the person not know how much they spent on a gift, if they see something different, i respect that purchase and not ask 20 questions about that charge...who knows, it might not even been a gift for you
Anniegrl Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

Luckily neither one of us is a crazy shopaholic. But it's just going to feel weird for me to not have my 'financial freedom' anymore!

Also, my bank is in New York (it's a Credit Union) and his is through USAA. So we both do all our banking electronically. I guess we'd have to split our paychecks and send a certain amount to our personal accounts and the other amount to a joint savings and checking?
TwoBugs Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

We have a joint account, but we keep personal checking and savings accounts as well. The joint is for bills, groceries, fun stuff, travel, etc. - as long as it involves both of us.

I make a lot more money than FH, so I'm putting more into the joint account every month, but neither of us cares. That account is OUR money, so once it's in there, you have to stop thinking of it as YOURS.

We'll always keep separate checking accounts, because I shop WAAAAY more than he does, and I don't want to make him pay for all my clothes and shoes!
Jordan Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

We opened a joint account just after we got engaged...but we will always keep our own seperate account's as well. I don't see any reason to eliminate our seperate accounts once we're married.

september2004 Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

Posted by NYCHICK

One of those married things we'll have to get adjusted to. An alternative is to separate checking account and combine your saving?


I think this is what we will do. I am the CFO in our relationship and I will definitely keep a separate account for myself as I feel FH should have as well. A joint savings sounds like a good idea. This way we both contribute a set monthly amount and the rest is left for personal use! I like this setup so neither of us will be breathing down each other’s necks...
Valentinegirl Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

Why dont you have a joint account for bills and savings that you put a certain amount into a month and keep your own account also to spend what you want of your own $? We are doing that now and saving for the wedding and a house. It works well for us like that.
KathleenG Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

Interesting points. I don't mind having a joint account with FH, but having my own account was one of my first steps ever toward independence. I like having something that I control and can call my own. Maybe we will do both.

flyin'bride Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

How about keeping your accounts at the same bank? You can each have your own checking accounts and a joint savings, or, have your own savings accounts and a joint checking. This way you maintain some independence but are still able to electronically transfer money into a joint account through online banking, etc.

MCDO15 Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

Is this a silly question, how come you can't have independence on a joint accout? Seperate accounts would make it seem like your hiding something no?

september2004 Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

Posted by MCDO15

Is this a silly question, how come you can't have independence on a joint accout? Seperate accounts would make it seem like your hiding something no?

no! you want to have to 'justify' all your purchases? FH and i have totally different spending habits - i am a saver, he is a spender. the current setup we have going now is, he contributes X amount towards certain set goals and the rest he can spend however he'd like. this gives him a sense of independence without me breathing down his neck and saying 'you bought WHAT! WHY?'
flyin'bride Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

I don't think seperate accounts mean you are trying to 'hide' anything from the other. Its just a matter of what works best for the individual couple.

MCDO15 Posted:

Re: How do you feel about combining your bank accounts?

Posted by flyin'bride

Its just a matter of what works best for the individual couple.



oh, i totally agree with that statment

i'm just saying from what i reading, it seems that FW money is FW money and etc 50/50 i guess. 'Honey, you got half of the rent money?' hehe... i my uncle and anut did that for the longest time. Also reading, seems like there is alot of spending. As long as your happy great but we are trying to save. As much as we save, we don't spend. Sad all our savings we can't afford a house in NY. To this day, i think i only question like less then 5 charges made (at those moments, we are struggleing w/ money) I respect her purchases as much as i respect her.

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