How do you handle sensitive Friends or Family...............

The ones who seem to take everything you say to them as being a direct attempt to hurt them. And no matter what you say this is how they feel...
So you have to walk on egg shells around them.

How do you deal with these people???

Me too
But it just seems there's always that one person in the family who is insulted by everything no matter what.

I'm really careful with what I say or do, and unfortunately I also tend to not want to spend time with them.

Although sometimes I'm the sensitive one!

I have a tough time with one family member who is super sensitive. I just try to be really careful when I say things, and make sure this person knows that I mean no insult. And when he does take it the wrong way, I gently explain what I meant.

It takes a lot of effort, but I love him dearly and would rather put forth the effort than not have him in my life, you know?

I mean even in general.

For instance.
I might say in casual conversation, ' Lillian looked so pretty, can you believe she colored her hair just for my wedding?

The person might say well 'I did my hair myself.. I guess I didnt look as nice'

Now where does something like that come from? I didnt even mention her

two girls that are sisters and were in BP are like this. and unfortunately i haven known them forever. seems it happened overnight. i can't deal with them anymore bc of that reason so i just dont talk to them any longer. i have no time for walking on eggshells with people. they infuriate me. exactly what you said liz - everything you say is intentionally to hurt them. its so nonsensical and just shows how insecure they really are. their loss. sorry for venting!

ok...now I understand!! some people just need to have more attention than others. They need to be told that they look good, or their hair is perfect, or they have the best of something all the time!!

What I would have said to that person is....'Yes, I know you do your own hair, and it always looks good, but I was talking about Lillian this time'

Do this enough times., not in a nasty but firm way, and she will get the hint!!

Liz, you must have been reading my mind, b/c just today, I was having a discussion with someone I thought we were friends, and something that happened between her and I she took it seriously as an attack on her and her hubby. Now if we are supposed to be friends, shouldn't there be some sort of comfort level where we can laugh at each other and at ourselves w/o there being any hurt feelings?? or whatever is said not taken to be more than plain ole jokes.

I guess the level that I thought our friendship was at, did not get there yet.

Like Lauren said, it is very hard to deal with people like this, it makes me very uncomfortable, its as if I have to weigh my words and walk on egg shells. I was a sensitive teen and my mom always said to me do not wear your heart on your sleeves.

Obviously if someone is out to hurt you or is deliberately saying hurtful things this is another topic. Friends know the difference

Lz check your FM

I agree. I used to have to walk on eggshells w/Len in the beginnng and after a while I stopped and said STOP being so darn sensitive.
Well, needless to say we're happilly married 3 weeks now

Back to the subject, friends get so complicated sometimes. It especially p*sses me off if we cannot even joke like shamma said. Like Geesh are we friends or what?
Why would they even think i would say something hurtful to them?
i think some ppl like to Create their own drama, and maybe that is why they act so sensitive, it's just another path to more drama in their life.

I guess I feel better now, that I know that I am not the only one dealing with sensitive people. The feeling I have is, you should not have to think about what you're going to say to your friends, it should just be a easy, relaxed atmosphere.

If this person knew me well enough they would know I do not hide behind jokes, whatever it is that I want to tell you, I am going to tell you, I am very up front about things. I do not carry burdens, none of my own or for anyone else for that matter. I am so glad I could vent.

Liz - well imagine this friend of yours.. who is super sensitive to begin with and imagine this happening.. Stupid but have to share...
A few weeks ago I mistakenly decided to go out with the two of the sisters (they are inseperable, think with the same brain, talk with the same mouth, etc) and I noticed one was wearing a ring that I used to have, but lost about a year ago. It was a Tiffany ring that was pretty unusual (not the usual signature collection and rarely in any catelogues). And it so happend to be that I hadn't seen them in OH SO LONG and hadn't seen the ring either. Not that I would ever think that she stole it but maybe I left it at her house and no one ever mentioned missing a ring? Anyway - I had to ask bc it was just killing me so I waited til the next day (not to ruin our night) and I wrote and read and revised this e-mail to her about 100000x's! Now the way I feel is that if it were any other friend, I could just ask them straight up w/o worrying what they are REALLY thinking. But like Shamma made reference to... after all these years, our friendship still hadn't reached that level. So uncomfy. And sooo NOT necessary to have to cater to some and not others. Aren't we all adults? Bottom line is that she claims she recently bought the ring so I have to leave it at that. I guess I'll never really know. But I accept it. I know she was flipping out though... havent heard much from her since. Oh well. If you cant handle something liek an adult, I have no time for you!

Laren you and I are here ---------><----------- whenever I respond to the friend I have to re-write and re-type it like 10 million times. I cannot live my life like that. Laren maybe we are talking about the same person

Yeah, like just say no, i just bought it and get over it

I had a friend who was so sensitive, I had to kick her to the curb. Sad, but true.
I didnt even invite her to the wedding.
All this from her claiming the world including me was against her, I just could nt take it anymore.

I had a friend like this and it's kind of sad, because although I loved being with her, I felt like I always had to watch what I said.

She took everything to heart all the time.

Needless to say we don't speak as much anymore

Shamma -
So true! I cant stand it... it's like GET OVER IT!
Can't we just be real with each other? Uuggghh Aggravating. I've known these girls forever and it just seems that they get more sensitive as time goes on which means they'll be seeing less and less of me... There's no reason to have to write and rewrite e-mails if you are true to that person. That just makes ME a fake friend in a sense... u know? If I can't be myself than I dont know what to say... but in this case I had to be fake bc I wanted to see if she'd give me back my ring! LOL!

Lauren, do you think the ring is yours

I mean the things I have shared with this friend she should know she is a trusted confidant and for her to not be able to laugh with me when I am poking fun at her and her hubby, really upset and aggravated me. I said for you to even have the thought cross your mind that I was trying to be hurtful then that is questioning our friendship.

I am glad you and others on here can relate to me, now I don't feel like such a bad person. When I read her emails to me today it was really bothersome. Thanks all

shamma you are a good person, don't let someone make you doubt yourself

lauren, OF COURSE it's your ring