How do you know if you're 'cut out' to be a mommie?

cynthia Posted: Jun 02, 2003 09:29 PM

How do you know if you're 'cut out' to be a mommie?

Hi girls - I know this is a silly question but it is really upsetting me. Sometimes I think I was never born with that gene...the yearning to be a mommie. Did anyone ever feel like this?
Sometimes I see mommies with their children and it makes me cry, like, there couldn't be anymore love between the two. Then, I can see a mommie and her crazy/bratty kid and think, OMG! Can I really handle that?
FH and I have talked about it, and I do want children, really. But sometimes I'm just not sure if I'm 'ready'....(i can hear you all now....you'll NEVER be ready!!!! )
Also, the clock is ticking! At the time of the wedding, i'll be 34...it just makes the decision harder.

Stacey1403 Posted: Jun 02, 2003 09:31 PM

Re: How do you know if you're 'cut out' to be a mommie?

Cyn when the time comes I think you will be a wonderful mother to a girl J/K Really I think you will know when you are ready and you will do a great job

cynthia Posted: Jun 02, 2003 09:33 PM

Re: How do you know if you're 'cut out' to be a mommie?

STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAcey!
(that's what I'm afraid of...a girl like ME!)
But you KNEW you wanted babies for as long as I have know you! and you know EVERYTHING about babies...I feel like there is sooo much to know. it scares me sometimes....you?

JennRenee Posted: Jun 02, 2003 09:35 PM

Re: How do you know if you're 'cut out' to be a mommie?

I NEVER had the desire, and then one day, WHAMMO! I needed a child. It was very weird.

Stacey1403 Posted: Jun 02, 2003 09:41 PM

Re: How do you know if you're 'cut out' to be a mommie?

Of course it scares me I question myself too! Will I be a good Mom and stuff like that. Cyn I have known you for a long time and think of how you are with your niece and nephew, those feelings will only be stronger when it is your own. Just doing what you did to be with John is a BIG sacrifice and you did it no questions asked I told you the first time I met him he was different from the other *boys* I think when you feel ready, you will be a wonderful mother If it is a girl just think how you can dress her

cynthia Posted: Jun 02, 2003 09:47 PM

Re: How do you know if you're 'cut out' to be a mommie?

OMG YOU ARE KILLING ME!!!
get me the kleenex....I am all tears here!
thanks Stac...virginia with my niece and nephew are excellent examples, I say that all the time...it's just weird. I have these feelings sometimes and panic. John can't WAIT to have kids! He's adopted (did you know that?) and he is dying to see what a little Italian/Irish baby would look like!
Thanks for the advice/kind words. I miss ya babes...and tell Steve I said hi..

Stacey1403 Posted: Jun 02, 2003 09:50 PM

Re: How do you know if you're 'cut out' to be a mommie?

yabbobay Posted: Jun 02, 2003 10:17 PM

Re: How do you know if you're 'cut out' to be a mommie?

not a mom yet...(and don't feel ready quite yet) but I imagine no one is ready tocare for an aging parent...but you do it anyway...

phyl Posted: Jun 02, 2003 10:34 PM

Re: How do you know if you're 'cut out' to be a mommie?

I worried if i was going to be 'up to par'...guess what? YOU are the one that sets the level. baby doesnt know ifyou flub it a bit.
all baby wants is food, love, sleep and clean diapers.
even if you dont bond IMMEDIATELY -which happens esp when there is a c secition or difficult birth...it will creep up on you and suddenly you are in LOVE and you know how to handle your little one
I know- others said the same to me...and I couldnt believe it- but it is true

for day to day questions about handling baby,etc read up some good books- while you have the time

BTW, bratty kids who belong to someone else is NOT the way to judge YOUR capabilities

michele31 Posted: Jun 03, 2003 10:43 AM

Re: How do you know if you're 'cut out' to be a mommie?

I believe that if you are not ready then you shouldn't rush into parenthood just because of your 'clock'. Many women and men have goals in life that a child would not allow them to accomplish.many people love the idea of a child but don't really want to give it their 100% just yet. I believe that you know when you are ready and yes, you are right, perhaps it will mean it might be harder to get pregnant or it might mean adoption BUT that is still special and wonderful too.
My mom's cousin and her husband are 2 wonderful, educated people who love to travel. Children were never a part of their plans. They have nephews that they love very much and do lots with. And they are very happy this way. I don't think she is 'less' of a women because she doesn't want her own children. I give her more credit that she was able to withstand the social pressures and not have a child when she didn't really want too.

bearsbabe_113 Posted: Jun 03, 2003 03:22 PM

Re: How do you know if you're 'cut out' to be a mommie?

I've always had the 'urge' to be a mom, but my time wasn't meant to be until now!!! I firmly believe that people should only have children if they are REALLY READY and REALLY WANT them. I know a couple of people who shouldn't have had children and I think their children suffer because of it. It takes a bigger and better person to admit they aren't cut out to be a parent and not have children, then it does to have them just because it was the 'thing' to do!!!

Anybody can give birth, but not everybody can be a 'mother'!!!!!!

MichelleW Posted: Jun 03, 2003 04:14 PM

Re: How do you know if you're 'cut out' to be a mommie?

Deb you took the words out of my mouth, although I more relate to the anyone can be a father/or shall I say sperm donor HINT HINT but it takes a special man to be a 'Dad'

JennRenee Posted: Jun 03, 2003 05:09 PM

Re: How do you know if you're 'cut out' to be a mommie?

Got someone specific in mind, Michelle??

cynthia Posted: Jun 04, 2003 12:41 PM

Re: How do you know if you're 'cut out' to be a mommie?

thanks girls for all your input/advice...and you all gave me something to think about. I definitely want children, i quess it's just a question of someday. As Michele stated, you have to be really ready, and really want.
But, can you ever be really, I mean REALLY ready? I personally believe that means ready financially, ready for the responsibility. I know I would be an excellent mother...like stacey said (stacey and I go way back) I love children. I know I would want to raise my children in a loving, nuturing home where there is love and respect. Sometimes I guess it's society, and how kids grow up so fast, that makes me a little nervous.
You can be the best parent, provide a home with all of the above I mentioned, and who knows??? I have talked to other Mom's about this and what they have told me is, 'Cynthia, you do the best you can raising your children and hope for the best, that's all!'.
I know I'm rambling on and on about this, but sometimes it really scares me and just wanted to know if anyone else had the same concerns...

mishandgerard Posted: Jun 04, 2003 07:41 PM

Re: How do you know if you're 'cut out' to be a mommie?

i agree it does take a special man to be a dad. This is from someone who's sperm donor was never in my life, but my stepdad (dad) has been there for over 20 years. he walked my down the aisle and had the dance he deserved. my sperm donor was only a guest. i also found out that this behavoir runs in my sperm donors side of the family. scary huh?!