How do you uninvite someone? (kinda long)

This is a REALLY touch situation. I think no matter what excuse you give her...either way shes going to feel hurt. However, since you really do not want her there and all she does is cause you stress then it would definitly be smart to not have her at your wedding. I think what you mentioned above is a reasonable excuse to give her as to uninvite her. Its going to be a really hard thing to do but once you do it, youll feel alot better. Good luck!

Blame it on your FH.

tell her that when she asked you, you kind of just said yes, but didn't think about it and the rest of the guest list. say you got home and mentioned it to your Fh and that he said it wasn't fair if she got to bring her daughter while others who are family aren't....and that your list is a little crazy and you kind of have to retract the previous 'yes' you gave her. if you say it that way, it takes the blame off of you and all on him!

tha'ts just the way i would do it.

The way I feel about co-workers is that they are not going to be in your life forever.... years from now you are not going to look back and regret telling her she can't come! You're more likely to look back and ask yourself why you invited her in the first place! It's a little weird that she even asked if her daughter could come... it's not like a 14 yr old can't stay home alone! I would definitely go with the OOT idea...

Good luck!

I think the original poster wants to uninvite the coworker AND her daughter - if I'm wrong just ignore me.

I think that's a really tough spot but you should follow your heart. You sound prepared to lose her friendship - which is good because that's a possibility. BUT like someone said above, coworkers will not be a part of your life forever so just follow your heart and gut.

---

Posted by MrsQ-in2007

I think the original poster wants to uninvite the coworker AND her daughter - if I'm wrong just ignore me.

I think that's a really tough spot but you should follow your heart. You sound prepared to lose her friendship - which is good because that's a possibility. BUT like someone said above, coworkers will not be a part of your life forever so just follow your heart and gut.

---

Yes I want the whole family not to come. Wow, sorry about the confusion. In our company, your there forever and we both came in at the same time, so we'll both be there for the same amount of time. She got a transfer for a while, it was a quiet nice not to have her around all the time. But then she came back, now I got a transfer, one town over, but at least I don't have to see her everyday.

---

Posted by MrsQ-in2007

I think the original poster wants to uninvite the coworker AND her daughter - if I'm wrong just ignore me.

I think that's a really tough spot but you should follow your heart. You sound prepared to lose her friendship - which is good because that's a possibility. BUT like someone said above, coworkers will not be a part of your life forever so just follow your heart and gut.

---

yup, i just re-read it. you're right.

i still say blame it on FH. say that he thinks you should cut out all work ppl and that he's doing the same and has said you must do it too. kind of play it off as 'i feel TERRIBLE about this, and sooo embarassed, but my FH didn't know that i sent you an STD and we were doing the invite list and he got mad cause he feels like we can't invite work ppl. so i have to kind of B list you---and if we have room in the end, we both will be able to put some work ppl on there' make her think she might get on there.

u don't seem to care about whether she's there or not, so i don't think it would be that big of a deal if you uninvite her.

---

Posted by MJDoc12

---

Posted by MrsQ-in2007

I think the original poster wants to uninvite the coworker AND her daughter - if I'm wrong just ignore me.

I think that's a really tough spot but you should follow your heart. You sound prepared to lose her friendship - which is good because that's a possibility. BUT like someone said above, coworkers will not be a part of your life forever so just follow your heart and gut.

---

yup, i just re-read it. you're right.

i still say blame it on FH. say that he thinks you should cut out all work ppl and that he's doing the same and has said you must do it too. kind of play it off as 'i feel TERRIBLE about this, and sooo embarassed, but my FH didn't know that i sent you an STD and we were doing the invite list and he got mad cause he feels like we can't invite work ppl. so i have to kind of B list you---and if we have room in the end, we both will be able to put some work ppl on there' make her think she might get on there.

u don't seem to care about whether she's there or not, so i don't think it would be that big of a deal if you uninvite her.

---

Perfect!!

---

Posted by MJDoc12

---

Posted by MrsQ-in2007

I think the original poster wants to uninvite the coworker AND her daughter - if I'm wrong just ignore me.

I think that's a really tough spot but you should follow your heart. You sound prepared to lose her friendship - which is good because that's a possibility. BUT like someone said above, coworkers will not be a part of your life forever so just follow your heart and gut.

---

yup, i just re-read it. you're right.

i still say blame it on FH. say that he thinks you should cut out all work ppl and that he's doing the same and has said you must do it too. kind of play it off as 'i feel TERRIBLE about this, and sooo embarassed, but my FH didn't know that i sent you an STD and we were doing the invite list and he got mad cause he feels like we can't invite work ppl. so i have to kind of B list you---and if we have room in the end, we both will be able to put some work ppl on there' make her think she might get on there.

u don't seem to care about whether she's there or not, so i don't think it would be that big of a deal if you uninvite her.

---

Re-reading this post, I feel really bad. But not so bad that I might not use Melissa's plan. Actually FH is not inviting anyone, so that's a half truth right. And theon guy she works with said he doesn't want to go anyway. And the other 2 guys I wanted to invite, well they don't work with her so she'll never know! This might actually work! When should I say something? Now, wait a month. Man, I feel like a real Byatch!

I think you have 3 choices and you have to pick:

1- simply do not send an invitation to her; and if she asks about it, you say that you changed your wedding plans to only involve immediate family

2- Suck it up and invite them both

3- change jobs.

If it were me, I'd just suc it up and invite them both. You won't have to tolerate her chit chat on your wdding day; its just one of those awkward guests. There's one of those at every wedding.

---

Posted by diva7531

Re-reading this post, I feel really bad. But not so bad that I might not use Melissa's plan. Actually FH is not inviting anyone, so that's a half truth right. And theon guy she works with said he doesn't want to go anyway. And the other 2 guys I wanted to invite, well they don't work with her so she'll never know! This might actually work! When should I say something? Now, wait a month. Man, I feel like a real Byatch!

---

i would tell her ASAP--the longer you wait, the worst it is. i would just let her know now so that it's over and done with and that's it.

listen--don't feel bad! sometimes we just jump the gun on excitment and invite ppl that we really don't want to! STDs are nice but sometimes they get us in trouble by sending them out to too many ppl! i had to uninvite someone that got an STD to our wedding. it happens....what can ya do. you won't lose sleep over this woman!

Thanks so much girls. I knew I could rely on you. I know one girl said that, she'll just be a weird guest, but you should see the look on people's faces when I tell them she's at her table. the look like 'If I gotta deal with that all night I'm not comin'!' I know she would be so hurt if I bump her to the B-list. And now I'm thinking OK I'll tell her I saw the moms this weekend and Aunt Ruth an Uncle Joe are coming from yada yada....but then I remember lunch the other day. I told her I was thinking about walking down the aisle to this song and she says 'YUCK' So I said, uhm, if that's my song, should you really say yuck? Then she calls me today and says sorry, maybe she is subliminally jealous, cause my life is starting and happy and hers *****! I'm sorry to keep ranting but my tummy is in knots over this! Thanks for listening/reading girls

---

Posted by MJDoc12

Blame it on your FH.

tell her that when she asked you, you kind of just said yes, but didn't think about it and the rest of the guest list. say you got home and mentioned it to your Fh and that he said it wasn't fair if she got to bring her daughter while others who are family aren't....and that your list is a little crazy and you kind of have to retract the previous 'yes' you gave her. if you say it that way, it takes the blame off of you and all on him!

tha'ts just the way i would do it.

---

When in doubt blame it on FH!!! That is my answer for everything!

---

Posted by MJDoc12

---

Posted by MrsQ-in2007

I think the original poster wants to uninvite the coworker AND her daughter - if I'm wrong just ignore me.

I think that's a really tough spot but you should follow your heart. You sound prepared to lose her friendship - which is good because that's a possibility. BUT like someone said above, coworkers will not be a part of your life forever so just follow your heart and gut.

---

yup, i just re-read it. you're right.

i still say blame it on FH. say that he thinks you should cut out all work ppl and that he's doing the same and has said you must do it too. kind of play it off as 'i feel TERRIBLE about this, and sooo embarassed, but my FH didn't know that i sent you an STD and we were doing the invite list and he got mad cause he feels like we can't invite work ppl. so i have to kind of B list you---and if we have room in the end, we both will be able to put some work ppl on there' make her think she might get on there.

u don't seem to care about whether she's there or not, so i don't think it would be that big of a deal if you uninvite her.

---

I have to agree. Blame it on him. Thats what I would do