How does your FH/DH make you feel special?

FH and I disagree on this to the point that it is becoming a big thorn in both of our sides...I am frustrated and he is annoyed that I even talk about it...

He is not a romantic person, has trouble giving compliments and is a little on the 'frugal' side, etc. I asked him to try and make an effort to make me feel special every once in awhile - compliment me more, take me out for no special reason and spoil & pamper me (just once!), surprise me, SHOW me that I am his special girl - I want to feel it and not just hear it sometimes.

He told me that this sort of 'stuff' only happens in the movies and blows me off saying that I should just know he loves me and that should be enough. I don't agree - for me, actions and the 'little things' count. Am I being too demanding to want and expect this? Damnit, I deserve it and if I'm THE ONE, I don't understand why this is so difficult for him?!?!



SO...how does your man make you feel special? Let me know that men DO make an effort so I can tell my FH that he needs to step up!

well, the usual..makes dinner, does the laundry, cleans the house seriously he does do those things, but the really nice stuff is when he is, say, at barnes and noble and picks me up a magazine he thinks i'd like or if we are there together says 'aren't you going to get anything? you're sure?' or when he picks me up some dulce de leche haagen dazs, when he cleans the turtle tank on his own b/c I have homework.

Then again, he can def. slack off in this area, and I can too. Recently in pre-cana the hosting couple said that each week they do what they call a 'decision to love' (I know, corny) which is one nice thing for the other person that A)the other person did not ask for and B) you do not usually do (is not part of the established routine). I thought that was nice idea, and can keep you focused on the other person and make it a kind of personal challenege to think of nice things to do (I know for me I had a really hard time thinking of anything!)

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Posted by cluelessbride

well, the usual..makes dinner, does the laundry, cleans the house seriously he does do those things, but the really nice stuff is when he is, say, at barnes and noble and picks me up a magazine he thinks i'd like or if we are there together says 'aren't you going to get anything? you're sure?' or when he picks me up some dulce de leche haagen dazs, when he cleans the turtle tank on his own b/c I have homework.

Then again, he can def. slack off in this area, and I can too. Recently in pre-cana the hosting couple said that each week they do what they call a 'decision to love' (I know, corny) which is one nice thing for the other person that A)the other person did not ask for and B) you do not usually do (is not part of the established routine). I thought that was nice idea, and can keep you focused on the other person and make it a kind of personal challenege to think of nice things to do (I know for me I had a really hard time thinking of anything!)

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A man that cooks AND cleans? WOW - lucky lady!

THe 'decision to love' is actually a really great concept. Thanks!

Anyone else?!

My FH does much the same as Clueless bride. Sometimes I think he may feel guilty if say we go to Old Navy and he finds tons of stuff he likes and I don't find anything, he keeps bugging me to get that or get this. But he really has no real romantic things he does for me. I was given some advice to do a weekly date night and we have been and it is has been so great. I know I have heard several others on here say they do this also. It's just me and him and we talk and enjoy each other.

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Posted by bm2013

FH and I disagree on this to the point that it is becoming a big thorn in both of our sides...I am frustrated and he is annoyed that I even talk about it...

He is not a romantic person, has trouble giving compliments and is a little on the 'frugal' side, etc. I asked him to try and make an effort to make me feel special every once in awhile - compliment me more, take me out for no special reason and spoil & pamper me (just once!), surprise me, SHOW me that I am his special girl - I want to feel it and not just hear it sometimes.

He told me that this sort of 'stuff' only happens in the movies and blows me off saying that I should just know he loves me and that should be enough. I don't agree - for me, actions and the 'little things' count. Am I being too demanding to want and expect this? Damnit, I deserve it and if I'm THE ONE, I don't understand why this is so difficult for him?!?!



SO...how does your man make you feel special? Let me know that men DO make an effort so I can tell my FH that he needs to step up!

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boosh, you wanna answer this one?

come on now -- be nice

this is just one thing---

one time i just felt blah one day... couldn't put my finger on it. i was stressed and sad... when i picked him up from the train station he presented me with flowers.

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Posted by tracyg

this is just one thing---

one time i just felt blah one day... couldn't put my finger on it. i was stressed and sad... when i picked him up from the train station he presented me with flowers.

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Aww that is so sweet...tear...why can't they all be like that

because guys aren't romantic for the most part

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Posted by don424

because guys aren't romantic for the most part

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Well why not!! They should offer a class to these guys

there's an idea

and boosh, you have no complaints -- what about valentine's day

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Posted by Julestrd

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Posted by tracyg

this is just one thing---

one time i just felt blah one day... couldn't put my finger on it. i was stressed and sad... when i picked him up from the train station he presented me with flowers.

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Aww that is so sweet...tear...why can't they all be like that

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I second that!

Don & Boosh - you are TOO funny!

I dont know, this is kind a big issue for us with a few offshoots. FH is always making excuses why he cant do nice things for me - when I was away in grad school he said the distance made it hard, now that I am home its that he is tired from work, busy from work, and saving money. It is a struggle for us to go out anywhere - we wind up watching television and he passes out really early...but when it comes to shelling out time, $ to hang out wlith his friends - none of these things are an issue...

I always go out of my way to do the little things for him, show him I care and appreciate him - I just ask that if I can do this for him on a regular basis, dont I deserve it every once in awhile.

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Posted by don424

there's an idea

and boosh, you have no complaints -- what about valentine's day

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Yes, Valentines Day was very nice.

Most definitely you deserve it more than once in a while!!!

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Posted by Julestrd

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Posted by don424

because guys aren't romantic for the most part

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Well why not!! They should offer a class to these guys

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I agree!!

Believe me I would love Don to come home and just once say, 'You've had a hard day, let me take you out to dinner'

But NOOOOO that never happens!!

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Posted by Julestrd

Most definitely you deserve it more than once in a while!!!

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Thank you! I just wish HE would wake up and realize that. I just don't understand why it is so difficult for him. I have hinted, asked nicely, dont the whole 'show by example' bit, practically begged, etc. Nothing seems to work!

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Thank you! I just wish HE would wake up and realize that. I just don't understand why it is so difficult for him. I have hinted, asked nicely, dont the whole 'show by example' bit, practically begged, etc. Nothing seems to work!

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Just make the plans yourself and drag him to to it