FH and I disagree on this to the point that it is becoming a big thorn in both of our sides...I am frustrated and he is annoyed that I even talk about it...
He is not a romantic person, has trouble giving compliments and is a little on the 'frugal' side, etc. I asked him to try and make an effort to make me feel special every once in awhile - compliment me more, take me out for no special reason and spoil & pamper me (just once!), surprise me, SHOW me that I am his special girl - I want to feel it and not just hear it sometimes.
He told me that this sort of 'stuff' only happens in the movies and blows me off saying that I should just know he loves me and that should be enough. I don't agree - for me, actions and the 'little things' count. Am I being too demanding to want and expect this? Damnit, I deserve it and if I'm THE ONE, I don't understand why this is so difficult for him?!?!
SO...how does your man make you feel special? Let me know that men DO make an effort so I can tell my FH that he needs to step up!
bm2013
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
I have! LOL & yes it would be amazing I had dinner waiting for me after a long day too!
I don't mind suggesting things for us, planning things, even paying for them (which is hard because I am currently unemployed) but I just wish that he would take the initiative. Sometimes I feel like I am being selfish and making it an issue when it really shouldn't be. But at the same time, if I express to him that it is important to me - he should at least try a little.
boosh78201
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
Maybe he is waiting for the honeymoon to be romantic
btrflygrl
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
my husband instant messages me almost everyday or calls me everyday at work, takes me out to our dinners (nothing fancy-Applebee's our fave), cuddles with me all the time, I always get a BIG HUG when one of us comes home, he sends me flowers for no reason (not often...3 times in 2 years), takes walks with me, rubs my feet, surrenders the reomte to me sometimes (hahaha!!), he'll do housework if I ask for his help (which I don't normally do)
btrflygrl
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
be very careful...if your FH isn't willing to TRY to do things to make you happy, you'll find yourself being unhappy after the wedding....we had a newlywed post about how inconsiderate and unemotional her new husband was and ultimately...I think she decided to end it.....try searching for her posts, her name was NewlywedRegret
D&J
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
My FH cooks, cleans, does the laundry, changes the kitty box(we have 2 cats and it can get really smelly!!). He scrubs toilets, and then some.. I'm a VERY lucky woman!!!
If I'm tired and laying on the couch, he'll take a blanket and tuck me in and grab my pillow from our bed. If I'm thirsty or hungry he'll always, with no hesitation get me something to eat or drink from the fridge.
One thing he did for me this morning.. I thought it was so sweet - just to show you how wonderful my FH is..
I forgot my laptop at home this morning and realized I left it there when I was on the train. I take an express train, so the next stop after I get on is Penn Station. I called my FH when I got to work (mind you he worked all night (Midnights - 8am) and was already at the gym at 9am).. so I called the gym and told him the situation. He said no problem, and drove 20 minutes back to our house, grabbed my laptop, hopped on the LIRR to NYC and walked 10 blocks to my job.
This is just one of the million things he would do for me at a drop of a dime, & one of the many reason why I cant wait to marry him!!! I couldnt ask for a more compassionate, carring, thoughtful & loving man. I waited 31 years to get married and it was SO worth the wait!!!
don424
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
come on boosh, jump in and tell everyone how wonderful I am
bm2013
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
Posted by btrflygrl
be very careful...if your FH isn't willing to TRY to do things to make you happy, you'll find yourself being unhappy after the wedding....we had a newlywed post about how inconsiderate and unemotional her new husband was and ultimately...I think she decided to end it.....try searching for her posts, her name was NewlywedRegret
I appreciate your advice and concern. I did read NewlywedRegret's posts - but I don't think my situation is as extreme as hers.
He says he will try - we shall see. I do not mean to sound like he is a horrible person. He really is a sweetheart - I just want him to go the extra mile once in awhile. Maybe I am just overly sensitive about it lately because I am stressed about finding a job, etc.
I do appreciate everyone's posts!
OctGroom
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
Sometimes guys are afraid do to stuff like this because they might be scared of the female reaction. That's not getting on the females.. that's just saying that guys are apprehensive of putting themselves on the line...
That being said.......
Tell the gentleman.. little things REALLY mean a lot.. and it doesn't have to be the best thing in the world or grandiouse like in the movies but there are definite little things he can do to make you feel special.
I always like to surprise the FW.. just little things.. a rose when she doesn't expect it.. a CD I made for her.. sure.. I do bigger things (get-aways).. but the little ones mean more because they come from me.
sept20yay
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
My husband is wonderful still at all this- and we have been married now for 7 months. Nothing in this department changed after the wedding. He buys me flowers often (about 2 times a week). Sometimes I get upset that he spends our money on that. He cleans up dinner without me ever asking, demands to be kissed when he comes home from work, and when work was really really tough a few weeks ago, told me to quit without another job because he did not want to see me so unhappy. He still follows me around the house, tells me he loves me a lot during the day, and calls at least once a day. He is really touchy feely too. I feel like he is different from most guys out there and is cool with showing vulnerability.
I think it is important for a guy to be able to respond to your needs and being shown that you are loved IS a need not a luxury. It is not so bad that he does not do it but what is bad is that he is completely unwilling to change or try even after being kindly approached. I would not walk the aisle until your needs get more addressed.
Julestrd
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
This is so funny just talking to one of my girlfriends and it reminded me. Our guys complain so much about not getting 'it' enough so we always tell them show us a little romance and you might get it more often. It's the little things that count, and so far they have been doing a bit better. At least she says he has been and my FH has been
prncssrachel
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
Posted by bm2013
FH and I disagree on this to the point that it is becoming a big thorn in both of our sides...I am frustrated and he is annoyed that I even talk about it...
He is not a romantic person, has trouble giving compliments and is a little on the 'frugal' side, etc. I asked him to try and make an effort to make me feel special every once in awhile - compliment me more, take me out for no special reason and spoil & pamper me (just once!), surprise me, SHOW me that I am his special girl - I want to feel it and not just hear it sometimes.
He told me that this sort of 'stuff' only happens in the movies and blows me off saying that I should just know he loves me and that should be enough. I don't agree - for me, actions and the 'little things' count. Am I being too demanding to want and expect this? Damnit, I deserve it and if I'm THE ONE, I don't understand why this is so difficult for him?!?!
SO...how does your man make you feel special? Let me know that men DO make an effort so I can tell my FH that he needs to step up!
Oh god, I could have written this myself. Nuff said
OK, after much thought, I think I was overlooking some of the things he does. Like the fact that he cleans all of the time and NEVER complains about it (although, why shouldn't he? He is part of the household!), but, he also rubs my back for as long as I want him too, and he never complains or asks me, 'Is THAT enough?' I still would like him to go more out of his way to do little things for me though. He can be a little clueless.
LisaW
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
He rubs me to sleep almost EVERY single night without me even asking
He's extremely affectionate
MrsTC
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
my DH surprises me. every year on easter i make him a basket but this year i didnt have anywhere to hide it and we're trying to save $ so i didnt get one. he asked me if i got one for him, and i said no, i asked him vice versa and he said no.
easter morning i wake up and he made me a huge easter basket! oh the guilt i felt....but he said he wanted nothing in return - just wanted to surprise me!
gertyrae
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
Posted by diamondgrlie
It sounds soooo corny but it has to be the way he looks at me when I am talking... like he truly cares about every word, no matter what it is about.
Mine does that too, it has to be the most amazing feeling! He will send me flowers when he knows I am down. Or offer to draw me a bath when I get home. When we first started dating, i would send or give him cards(I am a real Hallmark freak!), he was not big on the cards. Now I get a card for EVERYTHING!, He buys every kind of card for every occasion, even those giant cards, he never misses a holiday now. I think that is the sweetest thing cuz it wasn't his bag but he does it cuz he knows i live for cards.
Robeymuse
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
he does a million little things everyday. From planting a garden filled with my favorite flower in our backyard (with a little sign that he made- 'Jenn's Lily of The Valley') to waking up extra early before going to the firehouse, just to cuddle with me and give me a million kisses. He always going above and beyond to make me feel special. He built a room addition onto his house and called it the 'New York Room', b/c I moved from NY to be with him. He spent hours making a picture frame out of steel and copper to resemble the NYC skyline and then put a picture of us with my parents...I am getting sappy, but hey, it is late.
maiahsdad
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
i guess i dont do anything special..........
Rainmama
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Re: How does your FH/DH make you feel special?
Posted by maiahsdad
i guess i dont do anything special..........
Awwww! Everything you do is special!!!! Especially when you come home from work at midnight, and even though you've cooked all day, you're more than willling to make a snack for li'l ol' me!! I also can't leave out how you're always the one to get up early to go to the laundromat and you're always more than willing to go grocery shopping or run other errands for me!! But, above all, you're a better father than I could ever imagine for our Maiah!
