My younger married sister just annouced last night that she is expecting their first child 3 mths before my wedding. Did I mention she is my moh. And I think I am more annoyed than anything... My FH and I waited until after her wedding to get engaged so that we didn't 'steal anyones Thunder' and now she is pregnant... My mother just said to me that she dosnt know how she could possibly give her a baby shower knowing that I will be having a bridal shower right afterwards....I know that it isnt fair to her not to have a baby shower but now with in the past 2 years they have gone to a engagement party for her, bridal shower for her a wedding and now they are going to have to go to a baby shower for her and a bridal shower for me by the time my wedding comes around everyone is sick and tired of us. Oh and the chirstening is probally going to be a month or two after my wedding...
Am I really be a drama queen ???
BoogieDownBride
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Re: How evil am I?
No, you're not evil at all. I had a similar situation.... 2 FSILs, both in my BP, one my MOH, have gotten pregnant in the past few months and will be be huge at my wedding. I was surprised but excited for the first (she never told anyone she was trying to get preg) and once the 2nd one (who has 2 kids and told us all she had no interest in having anymore) anounced hers I definitely felt my thunder was being stolen! Of course I am thrilled for both and wish them nothing but health and happiness.... it took a couple of days to get over the shock, but now I can say that I am sooooooo excited about having 2 more nieces or nephews.
Planning a wedding is such an intense experience (as I'm sure anyone on these boards would agree) and sometimes it's hard to keep in mind that life goes on throughout the planning process and beyond.
I can also warn you to be prepared for some people to tell you that yes, you ARE a horribly evil person for being upset about this. I posted about this on another site and got back one particularly rude and offensive repsonse. Trust me, you are normal and try your best not to let those people affect you.
Best of luck!
jennbaby
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Re: How evil am I?
wrong post
september2004
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Re: How evil am I?
Posted by Jo Ann
Am I really be a drama queen ???
yes. be happy for each other! it's very hard 'time pregnancy' even if one wants to. also, what's good for her may not be good for you and vice versa.
i never really understood the concept of 'stealing ones thunder'. my fiance wanted to propose to me the weekend his best friend got married and his friend asked him not to. it's not like this was going to happen DURING the wedding. i am a very private person and who knows if i would have even announced it then. needless to say my fiance respected his friend's wishes...
i'm worried my FSIL who is in my BP will get pregnant this year, but if she does i will be happy for her and move on...
these are happy times! enjoy it!
halloweenbride04
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Re: How evil am I?
You're not evil at all....I've had selfish 'stealing my thunder' thoughts myself. My younger brother (and only sibling) got engaged 3 weeks before me, he's getting married 3 months before me! FH's sister is pregnant and her baby shower was the week after our e-party and one of his other sister's just got engaged.....I hear ya, trust me!
Kelly9904
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Re: How evil am I?
I dont think you are evil! I think its a normal emotion! You waited along time to have your day in teh sun (so to speak) and its hard to think that your time will be overshadowed!
I do agree that you will probably get over this in a short time and will be really excited! Right now its just hte shock probably!
However I do see the added stress of your sisters BS. I am sorry about that!
CherylBooch
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Re: How evil am I?
i would say be upset for now (I would) but get over it quickly. Don't harp on it and DON'T let it ruin YOUR day!
and just remember... You're going to be an AUNT!!!! OMG just think of how cute he/she is going to be!! A playmate, someone to look up to you....
Jordan
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Re: How evil am I?
I'm in the same situation - my sister (also my MOH) is giving birth 4 months before my wedding and I couldn't be happier for her and my BIL.
Sorry, but I couldn't agree more with September2004.
Posted by september2004
Posted by Jo Ann
Am I really be a drama queen ???
yes. be happy for each other! it's very hard 'time pregnancy' even if one wants to. also, what's good for her may not be good for you and vice versa.
lullabella
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Re: How evil am I?
Sorry but I think you are being a little selfish. Any time someone becomes pregnant it is a blessing, not too mention that you will now have a little niece or nephew. You should not expect people to put their lives on hold for your wedding, especially since it is a year away.
SReidy
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Re: How evil am I?
Check your FM mail Jo Ann.
EvenEdan
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Posted by Jo Ann: Am I really be a drama queen ???
You are absolutely being a drama queen. My family would kick my ASS if I had that type of reaction to something as wonderful as one of us expecting child!! You are having a selfish moment and you should let it go. Your wedding day will be all about you and your husband that doesn't mean all the time leading up to it has to be about you as well.
StepherG
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Re: How evil am I?
Unfortunately your wedding is 1 day...not the whole year. People's lives must go on and I'm sure they didn't say ' hey, let's get pregnant before her wedding and ruin it for her.' That's the way life works. If they interfered with your wedding I would be upset, but since it doesn't - oh well.
In reality, what can you do? Tell her to stop it? I would just move on and be happy for them.
endlessluv429
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Re: How evil am I?
I am DYING to be an aunt so I have to say that I would be absolutely THRILLED if my brother and SIL (who is my moh) or if FH's bro and wife were expecting a baby right before or after our wedding!! don't worry it'll be fine.
Lisalou
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Re: How evil am I?
Posted by Jo Ann: Am I really be a drama queen ??? ________________________________
Not to be harsh on you, but yes you are being a 'drama queen'. This is not something that people plan on and if they did, so be it. It's not an easy task to get pregnant and when one does no matter what time it happens it's an absolute blessing.
These are great times in BOTH your lives, sisters are suppose to be unconditionaly happy for each other, not jealous. I wouldn't worry if people are going to go to your shower or not. If they want to be there they will be there for you, not because their tapped out. These are your family memebers not strangers.
I guess I just don't understand your thought since I am in the same situation with my sister and we are nothing but estatic for each other!
NYCHICK
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Re: How evil am I?
I am an aunt. I would have to say that you are being a bit of a drama queen. It is most likely normal though, the 'stealing your thunder' thoughts.
kel2004
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Re: How evil am I?
I can totally understand how you feel. I think you will get over it and be happy for your siser once the shock wears off. Just be glad that she isn't due right near your wedding, which is what has happened to me. My brother and SIL might not make it to my wedding because she is due very close to my wedding, but I am still happy for them. I admit I was upset for a brief time, but there is nothing you can do about it. Don't worry about your thunder being stolen, just be happy that they will still be there for you on your wedding day.
bridzilla
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Re: How evil am I?
Don't be upset. I know you are excited to become an aunt, you probably think the timing if off. But don't let that put you in a bad mood. It's a baby!! The only I would be ok with, as far 'thunder stealing' goes, is a baby.
Jo Ann
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Re: How evil am I?
Just so you know I don't even think any of this would have been a problem if my fil's didnt bring it up. I honestly don't think I would ever in my wildest dreams come up 'stealing thunder' or anything in that order on my own.. I am very excited that my sister is pregnant and to be an aunt. Please I already bought the baby stuff on line and I just found out last night. At first I guess I was upset or surprised by everything. But once someone put the idea in my head I just couldn't get it out. Thanks for all ur responses I appreacte the kick in the tush. (belive me I needed it)
StepherG
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Re: How evil am I?
That doesn't make sense. If your FIL's brought it up and it wouldn't have bothered you if they hadn't...then why post it that you're upset?
usuk2004
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Re: How evil am I?
You get to be a bride and an aunt all in the same year! Congrats!!
I definitely agree with the post that said your wedding is only one day. I am so not a bridezilla--there are elements that I don't even care about (ie invitations and place cards)--I really feel like I need to have some perspective on this whole thing. It's one day and frankly, it's just a big party. Sure, I want it to be nice and I want it to be memorable, but I don't want to set myself up for disappointment either.
The baby is here forever--it would be a shame for you to resent it. (not that you do)
