How involved is you FMIL?

my FMIL and I get along really well but she seems soo uninterested about the wedding that it is slightly awkward. she grew up in western pennsylvania and weddings there are not as exstravagent as they are on LI. so every so often she will make comments about how it is one day and why spend money which can be frustrating

Just explain that your wedding is something you've always dreamed of sharing and bonding with your REAL mother with.
My FMIL doesn't have much of an opinion, but she is informed. However we are paying for this wedding alone for the most part- so I don't feel like anyone is entitled to too much of an opinion.
Her daughter just got married- so that was her chance to speak her two cents over wedding matters (she did chip in to pay)
Let your FMIL know that while her participation on the wedding day is important to you - the planning aspect is something your mother and yourself would like to do as a bonding experience.

or else.. plain tell her to bugger off LOLOL (easier said then done I know)

My FMIL makes me want to jump off a roof 90% of the time. (Pretty blunt I know) but let me give a few reasons why..

1. She's Lutheran. I'm Catholic and the FH and I decided a longggg time ago we were getting married in a church. Since then she has given me numerous speaches about how bad the Catholic church is, that we should not get married there and has asked me about 100 times if she should call her church and check if the date is open to get married there.

2. I went to look at all the halls without her and her husband because they are extremely opinionated. When I finally found the place I figured there was no harm in inviting her to come see it since all the negotiating was done and the contract was already written out. I told her NOT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE PRICE. Both her and husband agree. I sit down in the hall to sign the contract what do her and her husband do...ask the guy to lower the price. I was mortified.

3. My FH is deployed and will not be home until December. I had my food tasting this past weekend and again silly me thought it would be nice to invite her and her husband. Within the hour before the food tasting she told me 5 times that the catering hall has to let me have another food tasting when my fiance comes home because thats only right. To which everytime I responded I will take care of it. We sit down at the table for the food tasting again she says it and I replied I will take care of it. The owner of the hall walks in and what is the first thing she does, says to him you really should allow them to have another food tasting with her fiance comes home its only right. I wanted to jump across the table at that point.

Soooo don't get me wrong, she does a lot of generous things as well. Always buying me things, offering me things and so on. BUT when it comes to wedding planning I've found it it was better to do it without her as much as possible.

FMIL is not involved at all....i mean shell ask some questions here and there but other than that she doesnt say much. I think its better that way lol My mom is enough

She doesn't live her and she's not involved at all. Which is ok with me because she tried to hijack my FSIL wedding. Her relationship with that son is different than hers with my FH. Good for me because I think I'd flip if she tried to plan y wedding the way she did with that poor girl.