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How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

Kara and Todd Posted:

How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

FH is driving me up a wall.

We want to get married next summer before he goes back to school and before my parents retire / move out of state. That leaves us very little planning time.

We agreed not to announce anything until the ring comes, which makes sense to me... but that also means we can't pick a date b/c I do at least want to check dates with close family to make sure there isn't a conflict...

Now, we're getting the ring in a couple of weeks... He's running the marathon the weekend of Nov. 5th - so his family will be in town, no planning that weekend. He's in Philly the weekend before that to go to a football game with a friend of his. He now wants to go away for a weekend on some camping trip that was planned last minute by his college buddies. I told him I need him around on weekends to help find a hall -- b/c we won't really be starting to look / pick dates until we get the ring / announce it. I said it needs to be AFTER we find and book a hall. I don't see how this is unreasonable. We work in the city and live on LI - We have to do this on weekends...

He tells me, 'Looks like it's the weekend of Nov 18th, so plenth of time to get things booked.'

***????????????????????????

He's kidding, right? Realistically, that gives us ONE weekend to do this. No possible way this is happening.

Am I being totally unreasonable???

We are working on a very short time frame, and we need to get moving on booking the hall... but I am NOT half-assing this decision either. It's a HUGE decision / financial commitment.

I don't want to lose yet another weekend to things FH wants to do.

Ironically, these things never come up for him, so normally it wouldn't be an issue... but I really think that finding a hall is more important.

How long were you looking???

PS - we haven't even figured out how many people / how much we want to spend... All things we need to discuss with our parents AFTER we get the ring...

GRRR!
billandme Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

If you don't mind brutal honesty.......

Yes, I think you are being very unreasonable. Just let things happen naturally. Don't stress him out about all the wedding things before the engagement. When he DOES propose, it wont' be as exciting for either of you becuase you're already bickering about the planning......

Just relax , let the engagement happen then deal with the planning.

JMO of course
HelenZ Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

I definitely think you should try to take it easy and really enjoy the engagement when it happens. I know it's hard b/c I'm a planner too and you want to have things set so you don't have to worry later. I've been dating FH for 6 years....we started looking at rings in 2002!!! We knew one day we'd get engaged and we always talked about it, but I also didn't expect him to buy me a ring until he was financially able.....so that made it all the more special when it happened- 4 years after first looking at rings!!

I'm not saying you'll have to wait 4 years....but definitely don't stress before the engagement happens!! It will take away from your joy!

That being said, if you really feel like you want to get a head start, if I were you I would look at halls by myself and kind of narrow it down to what you like as far as style and then bring your FH back after he proposes, by then you'll know what your budget is.

Good luck!!
HelenZ Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

Just realized I didn't answer your question!!! I narrowed down my choices of which halls to visit by calling & researching online, then I looked at about 12 halls over a span of maybe 3 weeks- FH only came with me to see 5 of them. So we basically made our decision in about a month.

iBCraZ131 Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

it took us about a week and a half but in that week we looked at a good 15- 20 halls!!!

Kara and Todd Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

Okay, to clarify... The 'engagement' happened wihtout a ring. We picked out the ring... It won't be ready until the end of next week. The engagement happened, but we are waiting to get the ring before we announce it. - B/c people's first reaction will be 'where's the ring?' - especially in my family...

My problem is that he promised that he would plan this trip to happen after we booked the hall so we could look together - and he somehow thinks this is going to happen before that weekend. That's what's annoying me.

And, yes, I'm also a planner -- and I am terrified we won't find anywhere for next summer... FH wants it to be next summer b/c he is going back to school next fall and does not want to take any time off for the wedding... We also found out last week that my parents will be moving far away after next summer, which is more incentive to have it then.

Sorry to vent. I'm not trying to make it into an argument with him... but he needs to realize that this isn't going to get done overnight.

You're probably right, though... but I still don't see how we can find a place for next summer when we don't start planning until after Thanksgiving. Maybe I'm just being crazy about it, though... That is totally possible.
jessie32783 Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

I would definitely start the researching process now. Think about styles of what you like, and what's important to you. Do you want a place where you're the only bride? do you want to be by the water?

Just pick up a few long island wedding magazines and narrow down the choices. I know when I started looking, I called a whole bunch of places and eliminated a few based on the prices that were out of my price range.

That being said, I went to three places and picked the first one I saw and did it all in one weekend. So it definitely can be done, I'm totally of the mind that you'll know when you walk in Hope that helps!!
Kara and Todd Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

How far in advance did you book, though?

I'm worried we won't find anything for next summer if we wait until after Thanksgiving to even start looking...
MrsD06 Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

I agree why don't you start calling some halls and looking at some. I know it is hard to have an idea of size without speaking with your parents but maybe you could start a tentative list...like will it be under or over 100 people? Under or over 200? ..just to get started and then when you guys announce it and get some input from both families you can keep looking on your own.

It took us about a month to find a hall..we had been engaged for a while and I was ready to start looking so we did, lol. We only looked at 3 and when we saw the WM we knew it was 'the one'

If you are looking for next summer but are not tied to a specific date I bet you can find something great!
eddies girl Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

i disagree a little with the posts above...yes although u should try to relax so when u do become engaged it is exciting and an amazing time but if u want to get married next summer which is less than a year than i think u need to get a move on it espically since i think a lot of 07 dates are going to be booked up already...i got engaged in june and we starting looking at halls in august and it is now october and still searching after 14 halls...we are not picky either..we would have booked at one place had the food tasting not been bad...making the appts and going to see all these places takes time espically for me when i am in school and working during the week..so my advice is to search online under the planning section of this website and go under reception halls and narrow down what halls u want to look at and start making appts and if u need help with hall searching and have an idea of what u want then u can fm me any questions bc i have been to 14 halls lol..good luck

SusanAdam Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

I had trouble getting FH to come look at places because he is gone at work for 12-13 hours during the week and the weekends he was busy for several weeks in a row too since we were in the middle of moving. Weekends were his only time to move his stuff from his parent's place to our new place. I went with my mom and sister to look at places. I did a lot of research on here and narrowed down my picks. In only two weeks I was at my third place, the Swan Club and loved it. That weekend was Labor Day weekend and I went there with FH who loved it as well so we booked it right there. Good luck with your search and try to enjoy this time right now. I know how stressful planning can be and how hard it is when people are on different schedules, but this time will go by so fast so enjoy it!!

MandG072909 Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

To make you feel better....I actually looked and booked in one weekend (I think the same one right around the 18th of November last year) and we had our wedding on July 29th at my dream place. I looked at 5 halls and booked the last one almost on the spot because I knew it was 'the one'. Sure we paid more than we planned and I went w/ my mom instead of my husband because it wasn't as high on his priority list as it was on mine but it worked out perfectly....it can be done in a weekend and it may even be easier because chances are some places wont be available...just do reasearch and call around first to narrow down and you'll be fine...you can also look w/out FH and then bring him back that weekend to your top choices....HTH!!!!!!
TheFutureMrsM Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

i am in a similar situation as you, the ring is ordered, and being finalized cause i am so damn picky, but he wants to surprise me. But there is so much you can do, You can ask your parents for a tentative list, and his parents a tentative list...explain that you want to narrow down your choices, and you just NEED a list of guests. So many halls have very large minimums, so many halls are very small and only hold a certain amount comfortably. Research the halls, and narrow down your choices by how many people you have and their price per person, also decide if you want to have an afternoon wedding, or evening wedding, cause price definately matters with that. Also are you looking to have your ceremony there or at a religous place, that can also make a huge difference in your choice, Some halls do not have a great location for ceremonys, or they might not have one at all.
I do not think you need a ring, for people to accept your engaged...there was a whole thread on this a couple weeks ago.
Bridex100 Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

You can look at halls without him, then bring him back to your favorite venues. That's what I did. There is no way in hell FH would have gone to 25 venues with me.

Some people visit 1 or 2 venues and immediately fall in love. Others (like me) can look at dozens and still be dissatisfied.

One thing you have in your favor is that if it's short notice, halls tend to give a discount because most brides like ample time to plan.
TheFutureMrsM Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

yes this is very true, you definately dont need him to go to all the halls with you...i went alone to a few already. I knew instantly when i saw the room if it wasnt for me. I definately think, since you are less than a year away you can probably get some type of deal, especialy if they get a cancellation...or if a bride pushes her date back.

HelenZ Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

Posted by Kara and Todd

Okay, to clarify... The 'engagement' happened wihtout a ring. We picked out the ring... It won't be ready until the end of next week. The engagement happened, but we are waiting to get the ring before we announce it. - B/c people's first reaction will be 'where's the ring?' - especially in my family...

My problem is that he promised that he would plan this trip to happen after we booked the hall so we could look together - and he somehow thinks this is going to happen before that weekend. That's what's annoying me.

And, yes, I'm also a planner -- and I am terrified we won't find anywhere for next summer... FH wants it to be next summer b/c he is going back to school next fall and does not want to take any time off for the wedding... We also found out last week that my parents will be moving far away after next summer, which is more incentive to have it then.

Sorry to vent. I'm not trying to make it into an argument with him... but he needs to realize that this isn't going to get done overnight.

You're probably right, though... but I still don't see how we can find a place for next summer when we don't start planning until after Thanksgiving. Maybe I'm just being crazy about it, though... That is totally possible.


Ok....considering the engagement happened, I would definitely start researching and deciding what type of hall you want. If you don't have your heart set on a date, then I think you have a great shot at a date being open for next summer. My sister's wedding was planned in 3 months before her wedding day! That was a little crazy but, you can still find availability if you start looking now through November for next summer. Good luck!! FM me if you want info on halls I've researched!
ali120206 Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

I'd start doing some research, put together a list of places that you like and find out their prices. Try to get a tentative guest list together to see what size venue you'd need and what the total reception cost will be.

If you are flexible with the day of the week, you should be able to find something for next summer, I have friends who booked 8 months before their June wedding.

I understand why you are upset though. We got engaged last August and were supposed to wait until November to look because FH had a big test to study for. Well, he was doing all of these other non-studying things so I went and looked at a few places with a friend and then a few with my mom and gave FH a choice of 2. He then spent one afternoon looking at the two and choosing and meeting with the church!

Good luck!

Also, a lot of these places are open late during the week so you could try to meet with them after work. I work in the city as well and don't live on LI anymore and I've found people to be fairly flexible.
ali120206 Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

Oh, we booked 14 mos in advance.

ETA: My coworker booked last October for a June wedding though (I actually ran into him on one of my RH tours!)
Tiggeruth Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

For me and FH we did it all in about 4 days right after Christmas and we saw like 6 places. I did all the research to narrow things down a lot and then Fh adn i went to all of them. I think that if you plan right you could totally see everything in a weekend and then mull it all over and then maybe you alone go back and make a deposit without your FH if he is away. We did not put down a deposit on the same day we saw the place, we discussed things with our parents first and then went back with FMIL and FFIL to make the deposit.

thelastresort Posted:

Re: How long did it take you to find and book your RH??

We did it in about 2 weeks but we didn't have a whole weekend to devote to it. My advice to you (and forgive me if I repeat others but I didn't have the patience to read through all the other responses)...the most important thing is to figure out what you can afford per person...if you know you can't afford X amount, don't waste your time going to venues that are known to be $$$$. That being said, to further cut down time, call the places you are interested now. Find out what dates are available and a ball park figure of how much it would cost on those dates. Also, do your research online now. You can hit up a whole bunch of places in one day just by scheduling appointments in geographical order. There's probably 10 venues on Jericho Turnpike alone.

It's doable...there are people that plan weddings in 3 months. Be flexible if you can and do your research. Good luck!

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